Apr 3, 2011

She's So Pretty

I have been friends with my bestie since we were seven years old. We were both in love with Paul and we fought over him. Oh, Paul! Even though I TOTALLY WON, I have never let another Mister come between me and my sister - it's just the way it's been ever since. I guess it helps that we have completely different tastes in men as well. She preferred the poorly, straggly ill-looking guys that were meant to grow into even more straggly rock stars, or so it seemed. Whatever floated her boat; it was all good - except when she was dating a guy that looked like a heroin-addicted version of Jesus. That was too much, sorry!

My friend is beautiful, even as a young girl. To counter-balance her beauty, she is, however, less versed in the ways of logic and street smarts. Whenever she would say something that was less than stellar in the intellect department, we would say, "Ah well, she's so pretty!" My own mother was one of the most guilty parties of doing this to her.

Anyway, she came with me the second time I moved to Australia. For the most part, we got along no problem... until we started travelling around the country together.

After 3 long, long weeks of making sure she had all her belongings (to which the answer was usually NO) and insuring she didn't loose her passport, wallet, money, clothes, mind, etc, etc... I was fucking exhausted. I never needed a vacation from my vacation so desperately as I did that month.

We were on the home stretch approaching Sydney when the coach had pulled into a rest area for a very brief stop. There was time to line up for the toilet or line up for food, but not both. Dammit! I wanted both. I ordered my food and had my friend wait in my place while I went to the bathroom. I was given a number - 68; it was underlined so one knew how to read it, like a shoe size, right? Got it? Good.

I had exited the kitchen area when I heard "SIXTY EIGHT". I quickly glanced through the mesh door to see if she was making a motion to claim my order. Nothing.

"SIXTY EIGHT?"

Still nothing.

Oh my god, I had to fucking pee so badly! I ran back in and YELLED at my friend,  "What the fuck?" She was starring off into oblivion thinking of lord only knows. I snatched the ticket from her hand; I was furious... and almost wetting my shorts to top it off. I quickly grabbed my food and turned around to give my friend the death stare.

"What? I was listening, I swear! I never heard her call out Eighty-Nine. Gawwd!"

She's soooo pretty!

24 comments:

  1. bwhahahah too funny and I would have beat her half to death after I peed..

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  2. i've had some of those pretty pals too! don't rely on them if you don't have to!

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  3. awwww bless her heart.... That's what we say in the South. You can say anything about anyone - as long as you say "Bless their heart!" after it you are automatically forgiven of your sin. For example: "Well that's just the ugliest baby I've ever seen!!! Bless his heart..."

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  4. ha ha! i have a friend who is the same. We have a saying, "up there for thinking (pointing to ya brain) and down there (feet) for dancing" and she got it muddled up once!!!! x

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  5. Simple mistake. Next time be sure to have it the right way up! geez poor pretty girl.

    A

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  6. See, now, in my family, whenever someone does something completely boneheaded, we just say, "You're so pretty."

    Must be a universal thing.

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  7. New twist on "you're pretty." Wonder what Mom meant by that all those years... oh God.

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  8. Ha ha ha! Hilarious! Thanks for the laugh this morning! x

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  9. Hahaha...I'm surprised that you weren't 69! Honestly, people like this drive me nuts!

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  10. @Lynn Fuckin' 69 indeed. She does drive me nuts, but I love her lots.

    @Suniverse Yes, and I've seemed to have passed it onto my son - his twin brother is super smart and, well, he's so pretty. LOL

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  11. Hi, just stopped by from the Lady Bloggers Tea Party. As my mother would say, while slowly shaking her head, "Poor, poor dear. When they passed out the brains, she thought they said trains, and said, 'I'll take the slow one.'"

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  12. I would have thunked her on the head with a cup full of piss. LMAO that was to funny.
    xoxo
    Jessica

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  13. Hahaha, I have a friend exactly the same. She tried to phone her partner on my TV remote one night (and she wasn't drunk)

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  14. I haven't had a bestie like this since before I became a teenage mother. I miss it like crazy hell.

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  15. Awww this makes me miss my ex bestie! :( You know the rumor that most female friendships can't last past ten years, right? Dammit, I'm a statisic

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  16. Too funny! I have a couple of friends like that, I can't handle them more than a weekend...lol.

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  17. LOL! You two sound like me and my bestie that have been friends for just as long!

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  18. Aw, those are awful stories to live through but they are great to have and retell. They're just better when they are the ones who have to pee! I'm following from the Blog Hop. Come visit me back!

    Michelle @ Things Sent My Way

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  19. Holy CRAP she has to be pretty! LMAO! As a perpetual dumb ass myself I can't say much...but this was CLASSIC! Love you Lady E!

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  20. holy shit...why am i just finding your blog now?!?! i fucking love you?

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  21. Everyone has those moments - some just more than others. Its the qualities that drive you made which would be the ones you would miss the most oxox

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  22. Brilliant post! It would be interesting to hear her version you, LOL.

    CJ xx

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