Apr 13, 2011

The House of Ill Repute

Well, well, well... look who's ONE - It's Life & Times of a Self-Proclaimed Saucy Bitch's blogoversary this week! (And I thought MY title was a mouth full - apparently, we both like mouth fulls, so it's all good.)
Anyways, where was I?
Oh, yeah! Hooray and congrats!
Then, I got a lovely little present in my in-box the other day from SaucyB telling me she wanted to share her shame on my site - words that always melt my heart, indeed. Share away, SaucyB, share away...


During my last two years of college, I lived in an off campus apartment with three of my best friends. We occupied the first floor apartment of a two-story house that was probably about a thousand years old and had the rotting pipes to prove it.

In the fall of my junior year, a bunch of cute guys moved into the second floor apartment. As we watched them unpack, we became increasingly intrigued by the “fresh meat” that had literally just landed on our doorstep.

While our interest was definitely piqued, we knew we’d be sharing close quarters with these guys and that it would be important for all of us to get along. Generally speaking, jilted lovers do not make for good neighbors. So in an effort to insure harmonious cohabitation, we decided there would be no hooking up with anyone in the house.

And then I met Steve. I swear on my Coach purse the first time I saw Steve he had just gotten out of the shower and was wearing nothing but a towel draped around his waist. With blond hair, a great tan and a killer body, I was immediately attracted to our new neighbor in a 'pass me a new pair of panties' kind of way.

That night, after the guys were done moving in, they came downstairs to hang out and we all started drinking. Being the flirt that I was, I sought Steve out and struck up a conversation.

After chatting with him for awhile, I determined that Steve didn’t have much going on in the personality department, but I didn’t really care. At the time, I recall telling a friend that my pursuit of Steve was kind of like a hunter going after a great stag. He was pretty much the equivalent of a trophy kill for my metaphorical wall.

Eventually, while everyone else was in the backyard, Steve and I slipped away and went in my bedroom. We started kissing and in a word, it was “ok.” He wasn’t the best kisser, but I figured I’d give him a pass for hotness. We messed around for awhile and once things had gone as far as I generally allowed, I told him we’d better go back outside. I explained about the pact with my roommates and the need to go into stealth mode so I didn’t get found out.

The only problem was, I could hear voices in the living room right outside my bedroom door! Not wanting give away that I had blown our “no hooking up in the house pact” within 48 hours of it being made, I told Steve he had to go out my bedroom window. The front porch was on the other side, so he just had to climb out and walk in the front door.

Except when he was already about half way out of the window, we discovered one of the guys was sitting on the porch having a cigarette. So much for secrecy!

Eventually, one of my roommates hooked up with another one of the guys too. But my trailblazing earned me the nickname “Jezzy, a.k.a Jezebel” for an entire semester.


  1. I don't know what it is about hot guys in towels - but it's sooo YUM!

    PLUS, you got a nickname from it? I'M SO JEALOUS! LOL. I never earned myself a nickname in University - or at least, not one to my face. I'm sure there must have been a couple floating around behind my back - almost definitely.

  2. hee hee. Those were definitely good times. Thanks so much for featuring me. LOVE the photo you added to the post! mwah!

  3. @thundercat832 glad you liked it! And relieved, because I'm a girly girl and I really don't think i could take a punch. Haha ;)

  4. Too fun. Seems to me you were just testing the waters. Making sure these guys met the high standards of you and your BFFs. Then you booted him out the window! Haha. And Happy Blogoversary Estrogen! My one year was two days ago. Great minds.

  5. LOL! Love it....and Jezzy is a hawt nickname! I'd roll with that!

  6. @Dawn
    Thanks - but it's Saucy's Blogoversay - I have no idea when mine is. If I had known I got to celebrate it, I would have kept track. LOL

  7. Mmmm... towel wrapped around his waist... mmmm!

  8. Love the memories! Since I was prob the "other" roommate, I believe there was no shame in the hookup! Now you just need to post the picture of that horrific house that we called home to get the complete picture!

  9. I love that nickname. I'm surprised you don't still use it.

  10. Man, did I ever have fun in college. Thanks for taking me back there for a minute or two. Love your nickname, too.

  11. Men dripping wet with hot bodies and white towel. Be still my pulsing heart.
    Love your nickname Jezzy <3

  12. I had visions he was going to fall and break something at least the worse thing to happen was you both got caught sneaking. Although if he'd had a little bit more going on upstairs he'd probably have checked before leaping out the window he he :D

  13. Hot as in "change your panties kind of way" Now there is imagrey for you.

  14. Haha! Love it 'Jez'. I got the nickname Mona for quite a while...maybe I should share that story.

    Oh and you know when you say that you let things go as far as you would allow. Does the next paragraph when you say "blown our pact" give anything away there? ;)

  15. They once had an interview up on the Coyotes website of Dan Carcillo is a towel... I almost DIED.

  16. I love these college stories (and the availability of fresh meat quite literally on your doorstep). Also think the picture is a great addition to the story :) What a wonderful post, SaucyB--thanks for sharing!!!


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.