11 Blasted Questions

I said, I said, I said, gawd damn you, Leighann! In all honesty, I loved that she emailed me ahead of time and politely asked me to not hate her for what she was about to do. (Twisting imaginary handlebar mustache) We shall see, Leighann. Weeee shhhall seeeee.

So, here are my answers to that bloggy chain shit thing...

1. There are $3 cupcakes in the supermarket but you have everything to make them at home. What do you do?
Do I look like motherfucking Betty Crocker? I would buy the $3 ones, every time. Wait. Is that for a dozen,  or are they $3 each? Never mind. It just means I'd buy less, like one or two, instead of a dozen.

2. How many pairs of jeans do you own?
This is a bit of an open ended question. How many do I OWN? Probably about a dozen. How many don't fit? 8. How many have giant holes in the crotch? 3. So, that leaves one pair that are currently wearable and I can do up the fly without a pair of pliers.

3. Can you pass up a sale?

Depends on what the sale is for, but for the right thing? No. Sales are my kryptonite. I'll buy 3 things for $40 even if I didn't need any of those 3 items. I come by it honestly - it was passed down to me by my grandmother. My mother slowly shakes her head when the two of us 'sale whores' get together. I also used to use it to manipulate my grandmother last week when I was younger; if I wanted something, I would tell her it's on sale and I would get it almost every time.

4. When is the last time you stood up for a stranger?

I guess I'm a terrible person, because this one has got me stumped. I did, however, stand up to open the hood of my car last week. I helped a stranger boost his car. Does that count? I'm going to go ahead and say yes.

5. What is your pet peeve?
A. Blog chains.

B. Odd numbers

C. The fact that I'm having to pop zits on my face every night like I'm still 14. It's bad enough when it splats on the mirror, but when the pressure is so much that it rebounds back on to my face like banana cream pie? Yeah, that right there. Pet peeve.

6. What is your favourite quote and what does it mean to you?

"What you call insanity, I call inspiration." - Sue Sylvester 

I think it kind of sums me up quite successfully. It's also possibly the best thing that has ever come out of Glee among all those annoying douche muppets.

7. Have you ever had a speeding ticket? Did you try to shamelessly get out of it?

Here's the thing: I may or may not have received a speeding ticket in Upstate New York. The fact that I wasn't supposed to be in the U.S. makes it somewhat of a sticky situation. I will never confirm or deny the truth. Nor will I ever admit to being so nervous that I almost vomited all over the possibly hypothetical State Trooper. Ahem.

8. What fashion DON’Ts did you participate in and STILL secretly love?

I love my Crocs. Fuck you. And you. And you too! Come to think about it, their soles are wearing a bit thin. I need to get a new pair shortly. Maybe I'll photo journal the entire fashion crime in progress. Yeah, baby!

9. How many keys are on your key ring?
I have a lanyard that holds my house key, mail key, car key... and a USB stick. I never leave home without one of those - like a true nerd.

10. Why do you blog?

Because I'm a narcissist that is losing my mind. I thought it would be good to write down all the skanky things I've done before I forget it all. What I never expected is the sense of community and support among other bloggers. This was truly a pleasant and, as it turns out, much needed surprise.

11. What is your sign and do you fit its description?

Seriously? It's a real shocker. I'll let you be the judge:

You have a strong sense of righteousness and are upright, courageous and ambitious. You enjoy a very high stamina. Your arresting personality and jovial nature enhance your popularity. High impacting individual, determined and proud you put across your views and ideas confidently and with an air of authority. Blessed with leadership qualities, you have a strong urge for success and recognition. You tend to put your relationships on high pedestals which makes it easier for loved ones to disappoint you when they fall off. You tend to dominate others with your magnetism and can be haughty, impatient and egoistic.

Yeah, all that and a bottle of lube.

Anyhoozle. Going back to my answer for #5, these chains are totally one of my pet peeves. In fact, last year, I created the STD Award in honor of my hatred for them. I will not be passing this particular one on to anyone. Suck it (I think everyone's got it anyway). BUT, if you haven't got an STD from me and you want one, I am totally willing to pass that on. All you have to do is ask... and come unprotected, of course.

I'm So Effin' Versatile

First thing's first.
My STD link-up has reached 20 blogs! Ahh, lovely - it's spreading nicely, I see.
The stories have been awesome. I've enjoyed reading all of them, truly. I haven't had one single regret about spreading this disease diploma around to all my nearest and dearest.

I promised I would give away some loot - and since I like round numbers, I think reaching 20 is a good place for me to exhibit some generosity, so....

Karen, from Life is a highway...and there are potholes - you were #2 and my trusty random generator has made you the first chosen one! You have won a "Rock My Blog" tote bag. Twitter DM or email me your deets, you lucky bitch! Yay!

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Second thing's second.
I've been slack about this acceptance - and it's NOT because it's not appreciated; it totally is.

Thank you to MultitaskingMumma, Blissfully Domesticated, Lost in Idaho and there was one more. If it's you, let me know - I'm so sorry!

Here is where I am supposed to list 7 things about myself. Pssst. They might not all be true - I'm in THAT kind of mood.

1. I once had a boyfriend's mother ask me how good her son was in the sack.
2. I made my television debut when I was 16; I got interviewed for a charity bike ride in great length, but it was 98% edited out. The only part that made it on air was "Sheep! I've never seen so many sheep!" I wasn't impressed.
3. I have had a real STD.
4. I hate onions; I find them unnecessary and repugnant.
5. I could very likely eat an entire box of cereal in one sitting, but since I'm not a male, I have not attempted to prove or disprove this claim.
6. I threw up on a ferris wheel all over the people in the bucket below.
7. I went on Drop Zone at 2am while peaking on mushrooms - it was fucking awesome.

And guess what? I'm being a bitch and not passing it on. Suck it! I'm keeping it for myself. I only like passing on STDs. Besides, I think everyone's already got it. Just TRY and get the blogger police to take me away - you'll never find me. I'm like Osama Bin Laden. Ah, fuck. That doesn't work anymore, does it? I can't really say Waldo either, because I was awesome at finding that little ugly bastard. Well... anyway... you get the idea.

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Third thing's third.

I'm guest posting over at Boobies, Babies & A Blog. It's about an awesomely stupid conversation I had with my drama queen husband recently than involves a foreshadowing of our son becoming addicted to internet porn, amongst other things... as ya do. Check it out :)

I'm Spreading STDs!

So, I got to thinking.
I know - it's always a monumental event - let's move on, shall we?

This whole 'peer blog award' thing - it's something I never even knew existed when I first started blogging. They are like the People's Choice Awards, except once you receive it, you have to pass it on to someone else. Many of us, including me, are kind of uncomfortable passing it on; like it's icky. Then I thought... wait, that's not like a People's Choice Award at all - it's like an STD!

Then I mulled it over for a while.

Yes. They're almost exactly like an STD, with the exception being that we are honored and flattered when these awards are passed on to us from other fellow bloggers, instead of being ashamed of having to request a prescription. OK, so that's probably a big difference, but you get where I'm going with this, right?

Without further adieu, I present the STD:

Sexy & Talented Diploma.

I want to pass on this awesome STD to all my deserving nearest and dearest.
Here are the rules:
1. Make up ONE totally ridiculous story about yourself that is a complete rip-off from a movie. It can be as long or short as you want; clean or crass as you want.
2. Pass it on to whomever you feel is deserving of this STD - or accept it and keep it for yourself; it's your blog - it's your choice.
I'M PRO CHOICE!
3. If you choose to accept this STD, please link your acceptance post back here. (I'll keep it open for at least all summer.) There's a very good chance that I'll be sporadically choosing random winners to get some of my world famous mediocre Estro-goodies.
I know you want some!

<a href="http://adventuresinestrogen.blogspot.com/2011/05/im-spreading-stds.html" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="250" alt="STD Award" src="http://adventuresinestrogen.com/images/STD_awardh250.jpg"> </a>

My story:

My mom was going to marry this guy, and, like, even though I didn't hate him, I was not entirely cool with it. We went out for Chinese food one night and my mom was being a total cunt rag. Then the next day, I looked down and saw my mother's wrinkly body... ON ME! I was like, "What the fuck is going on?" Then she ran into my room and get this: SHE LOOKED LIKE ME! My mom was all like, "What the hell?" So, yeah, we had totally switched bodies! It was fucked up.

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I could have listed at least 40 here, but like any good STD, I'm hoping it will spread around to everyone that deserves it. I am listing a bit more than normal, but I need to boost the first wave. It was much too hard to choose a reasonable number, so I used the RANDOM generator to whittle my list down to 15! (I'm serious, by the way, I couldn't decide, which is just another reason why I hate these fucking things.) I therefore bestow this STD to the following awesome blogs, to which I love each and every one.
YOU ALL DESERVE THIS STD:

SAHMlovingit MultitaskingMumma 2 Much Testosterone Rockin' Mama My Inner Pin-Up

AllFookedUp Yeah. Good Times. The Suniverse Almost There My Mad Mind

Jojo's So Called Life Belle of the Desert Finding One's Way Boobies, Babies & A Blog Unladylike Behavior

GO FORTH & POPULATE!

BTW. Including this instance, I've mentioned the acronym "STD" 10 times in this post - take that SEO; I'm ready for ya!
Come and get me!

Oh Boy, I Love Cherries!

I think it's about time for something on the lighter side, eh? Hooo-lee Crap!

Thank you to my sexy friend over at Twisted Fate Rockin' Mama for bestowing upon me with this cute award. Cheers, hooker! Sorry, I wasn't able to get around to it until now, so deal with it.

Of course, with this award comes a few other duties, apart from thanking the giver of the award. Hey Rockin' Mama, I know how much you like being a giver!

Next. 
List 3 things you love about yourself:
My eyes, my sense of humor & my creativity.

Next.
Post a picture that I love:
I took this when we were in Paris a few years ago and I recently did some Photoshopping to it to add some drama.

Finally.
Pass this on to 5 other bloggers that also have that little bit extra!
How about 3? That's how many I want to do right now; suck it.
After Nine to Five
Strawberry Freckles
My Inner Pin-Up

I love these ladies and their beautiful blogs!
*muah*

I've been long over-due for a Fawk You Friday, but I'm thinking I'll just build it all up for next week and let it all rip. Things are still a tad too raw to open that Pandora's Box today; I need a break ;)

The Ugliest Award... Ever!

My friend over at Doing It All For Alenya felt the incessant need to pass on this fantastically hideous award to me, thanks for that! This Memetastic Award was created by Jillsmo over at Yeah. Good Times. and I thought, what the hell is that? OK, so I looked up meme over at Wiki and I have to pass on this section, as I had to laugh out loud - I thought it was odd and random:

"The British scientist Richard Dawkins coined the word "meme" in The Selfish Gene (1976) as a concept for discussion of evolutionary principles in explaining the spread of ideas and cultural phenomena. Examples of memes given in the book included melodies, catch-phrases, fashion, and the technology of building arches."

It was the last one that killed me... building of arches? WTF? HA! This award is even more warped that I originally thought - awesome! I should also re-confirm that it truly is the ugliest graphic, considering I design this kind of shit full time, I can honestly say that it's a crime against all good taste and principles of aesthetics; the Comic Sans was only the beginning!

Here are the rules:

1. You must proudly display the absolutely disgusting graphic for these purposes (put it in your post, you don't have to put it in your sidebar, I think that would seriously be asking too much). It's so bad that not only is it written with COMIC SANS, but there's even a little fucking jumping, celebrating kitten bear down there at the bottom. It's horrifying! But its presence in your award celebration is crucial to the memetastic process we're creating here.
2. You must list 5 things about yourself, and 4 of them must be bold-faced lies. Just make some shit up, we'll never know; one of them has to be true, though. Of course, nobody will ever know the difference, so we're just on the honor system here. I trust you. Except for the 4 that you lied about, you lying bastards!

3. You must pass this award on to 5 bloggers.
4. This one isn't actually a rule, but once you do the above, please link up to the Memetastic Hop so that we can keep track of where this thing goes. 

NOW, without further adieu, here are 5 things that may or may not be about me! Can you guess which one is true?

1. I've had sex in the wheelchair bathroom stall of a McDonald's.

2. I have a substantial tattoo that represents my first love on the back of my neck.

3. I was stoned and ended up having a 3-way with a girl friend of mine and our literature professor.

4. Grail Lore is my hobby and I wrote a 50 page dissertation on the Third Crusade. 

5. I have an IQ of 163 but I use my grand IQ to decide what color lip gloss to wear in the morning.

OK. Now, like the last cyber-chain-linked award I had to pass on, I now pass this one on to 5 of my fellow nearest and dearest bloggesses (is that right?). If you don't choose to pass it on, it's your choice, I don't mind either way. Me? I'm fucking weak and superstitious as hell so I must pass it on. Sorry bitches! Love youuu! xx

Eccentric Delirium

Random RoRo

Rockin' Mama

After Nine To Five

Laughing My Abs Off

Stylish Award - Thank you!

So, I am up here on my imaginary podium, clearing my phlegmy throat - AH HEMMM...

THANK YOU Rockin' Momma for passing along the Stylish blogger Award to me! You are so awesome to think me deserving of it - it means A LOT. Secondly, Fuck you for making me think on a Sunday! xox

How this works...

1. Thank & link back to the person who awarded you this award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 recently discovered bloggers. (There is no way I have the energy or attention span to do 15, I'll link to blogs I'm lovin' lately and who deserve the award, how's that?)
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award!

7 things about Lady Estrogen:

1. I hate yellow gold.

2. I bite the sides of my fingers - not the nails; the skin beside the nails. Ugh.

3. My first tattoo was totally ruined by stretch marks - it's now a mutilated & decapitated turtle.

4. I would eat cereal and milk for every meal if I could.

5. I hate oranges but love Fanta.

6. I use to play women's hockey.

7. I still text & drive even though I KNOW how terrible it is; I try to only do it when I'm stopped at a light.

Passing this funky award to...

Almost There - Because you are HOT and I love your support :)

LadyLike Pervert - Because you're as warped as me and that's awesome!

Masshole Mommy - Because I just found you and I'm a-likin' what I'm a-seein'.

Weeman - Because you're doing a lot of good stuff on your site - more initiative than I'll ever have!

Tough Cookie Mommy - Because you've got a good thing goin' on.

Laughing My Abs Off - Because you have made me laugh on numerous occasions lately :)

After Nine to Five - Because I'm liking you're shit.

RandomRoRo - Because I often think you're writing what I'm thinking.

Life in a Pink Fibro - Because I love all that you do.

Mommy is Rock /n Roll - Because pink and black KICK ASS.

And again, Rockin' Momma - fuck you harder and suck my balls... but you've touched me... in a great way, not a molester way.

xoxo

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PS. I totally understand if you, the fabulous 10 that I have mentioned, do not forward this along; just know that I think you all ROCK. 'Nuf said. xox