Dec 19, 2011

Christmas is coming...

Christmas is coming,
My ass is getting fat.
The kids have all gone mental
And the dog just shat. 

I'm oddly rather horny —
Just a quickie shag'll do.
If you can't put out for Christmas
Then really, fuck you.  

Christmas is coming,
I don't mean to be a crank,
But get your shit together
And then I want a spank.

There's so much crap to do
And I hate to be so blunt.
But after all the chores are done
You need to lick my cunt.

Your folks are staying over 
A tiny piece of Hell.
I think I've more than earned
For you to ring my bell.

This time of year is when
I really start to twitch
'Cos Christmas is coming...
Ain't she a lucky bitch.


  1. I hope Santa stuffs your stocking REAL good this year...

  2. You are seriously the craziest bitch ever. And I mean that in a good way.

  3. May all your wishes come true. Maybe Santa can give you a quicky on his rounds?


  4. I sincerely hope I hear this on the radio one day soon. Merry Christmas twat!

  5. Bless you. You've summed up my feelings right there. Sadly I'll not get any but I have toys and batteries and I hope that will make me feel better. My stupid "friend" has asked that he butt fuck me and then for me to give him a blow job I said maybe if you eat me out he said no he does that only for a select few woman only 4 out of the 100 + he's been with but he's really good at it. Uh huh. Fucker! I need a new "friend" damn it.

  6. This sums up exactly how I feel about the holidays. Now that I'm happily single, sadly I will have to rely on B.O.B. for this. I'm half tempted to repost this just for a laugh (with your permission and credit to you of course).

  7. fucking ace!! Christmas is certainly

  8. bwahaha @ xmas cumming -- took me a sec but you can't get nuttin past me... lol!

    seriously hope ya get your itch scratched & santa is cool to you $ yours!


  9. @Jessica

    Dude! They should know that giving is better than receiving... for them, anyway. lol

  10. I only wish I had seen this before I sent my Christmas cards out...

  11. oh yeah, this is totally going on next years christmas card. :D

  12. @Random & Zombie

    I should totally design some for ya :)

  13. HAHAHAHA....Great way to start my morning!

  14. The perfect poem to read while drinking hot cocoa. See, you make even innocent moments crazy!

  15. Lady Estrogen, other esteemed members of the panel. I find myself in a quite festive and giving spirit as Christmas approaches, so I want to make myself available to fullfill all of your holiday wishes.

    I can address you in ones or twos, unless of course, we make good use of a tazer gun. I consider all requests, have a gentle hand and am a good listener.

    It is, after all, about the giving.

  16. Um... Alrighty then!!! LOL

    Merry Christmas to you too, Lady E! hahahahahaha

  17. You are always horny.
    This is nothing new.

  18. okay, R u asking your man to put out or santa?? ;)

  19. Hahaha brilliant. Hope you get a good stuffing my dear!


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