Christmas is coming,
My ass is getting fat.
The kids have all gone mental
And the dog just shat.
I'm oddly rather horny —
Just a quickie shag'll do.
If you can't put out for Christmas
Then really, fuck you.
Christmas is coming,
I don't mean to be a crank,
But get your shit together
And then I want a spank.
There's so much crap to do
And I hate to be so blunt.
But after all the chores are done
You need to lick my cunt.
Your folks are staying over —
A tiny piece of Hell.
I think I've more than earned
For you to ring my bell.
This time of year is when
I really start to twitch
'Cos Christmas is coming...
Ain't she a lucky bitch.
Christmas is coming,
I don't mean to be a crank,
But get your shit together
And then I want a spank.
There's so much crap to do
And I hate to be so blunt.
But after all the chores are done
You need to lick my cunt.
Your folks are staying over —
A tiny piece of Hell.
I think I've more than earned
For you to ring my bell.
This time of year is when
I really start to twitch
'Cos Christmas is coming...
Ain't she a lucky bitch.
I hope Santa stuffs your stocking REAL good this year...
ReplyDeleteMay all your wishes come true. Maybe Santa can give you a quicky on his rounds?
ReplyDeleteA
I sincerely hope I hear this on the radio one day soon. Merry Christmas twat!
ReplyDeleteThis sums up exactly how I feel about the holidays. Now that I'm happily single, sadly I will have to rely on B.O.B. for this. I'm half tempted to repost this just for a laugh (with your permission and credit to you of course).
ReplyDeletebwahaha @ xmas cumming -- took me a sec but you can't get nuttin past me... lol!
ReplyDeleteseriously hope ya get your itch scratched & santa is cool to you $ yours!
xxoo
@Jessica
ReplyDeleteDude! They should know that giving is better than receiving... for them, anyway. lol
I only wish I had seen this before I sent my Christmas cards out...
ReplyDeleteoh yeah, this is totally going on next years christmas card. :D
ReplyDelete@Random & Zombie
ReplyDeleteI should totally design some for ya :)
HAHAHAHA....Great way to start my morning!
ReplyDeleteThe perfect poem to read while drinking hot cocoa. See, you make even innocent moments crazy!
ReplyDeleteLady Estrogen, other esteemed members of the panel. I find myself in a quite festive and giving spirit as Christmas approaches, so I want to make myself available to fullfill all of your holiday wishes.
ReplyDeleteI can address you in ones or twos, unless of course, we make good use of a tazer gun. I consider all requests, have a gentle hand and am a good listener.
It is, after all, about the giving.
Um... Alrighty then!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas to you too, Lady E! hahahahahaha
Genius. :)
ReplyDeleteYou are always horny.
ReplyDeleteThis is nothing new.
Perv
okay, R u asking your man to put out or santa?? ;)
ReplyDeleteHahaha brilliant. Hope you get a good stuffing my dear!
ReplyDelete