Halloween Special: Zombie Dating

I thought I would organize a special, ummm, treat for Halloween. I've been having so much fun getting my readers of "the male persuasion" do a little writing over here, and this just might be the weirdest one yet. (Which  is saying a lot since I had Tim make an appearance last week. Ahem) I usually do guest posts on Wednesdays, but what the hell... it's mutherfukkin' Halloween, y'all! Oooowwwee!

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I think it's safe to say that we as humans think we have it pretty hard when it comes to dating. We bitch and moan about having the worst dates ever or doing something totally embarrassing. However, there are others out there who have it much worse than we might think... Those "others" I speak of are the race of the humble zombies, and what we might think of as a "bad" date, they see as a cake walk. 

Now to get you all in the Halloween Holiday spirit, I present to you...

Top 5 Awkward Moments In Zombie Dating: (Zombie Guy Edition)

{Photo credit: Marissa Martin}

5. Showing up to your date still wearing the same clothes you were bit in. 

(Come on, man! Just because you are a zombie doesn't mean you got to look like a slob! Dress out of that bath robe you were attacked in and put on a nice suit or something.)

4. Accidentally biting your date when you catch a human together.

(I know you hunger for the warm flesh of a human and all, but seriously! Show a little self control and let the lady have the first bite.)

3. Finding out your date is still Human.

(Your dad is going to be maaaaaaad...)

2. Getting shot right before you meet your date.

(Awww man, and you just put on that suit too!)

And, the Number 1 Awkward Moment 
In Zombie Dating: 

Having your zom-sausage fall off right before you lay some pipe.
(Worse than erectile dysfunction. You may as well just put your clothes back on and leave with your dignity.)

There you have it folks! I hope you all have a fresh new look on the world of dating now that you have seen the worse side of it all. Have yourself a Happy Halloween and be sure to read more of my stuff at Zombies Everywhere!