When Lady Estrogen gave me the word that I was allowed to post on her hilarious guest blog I was pretty excited. I then read her latest blog posts and I was like, fuck me. I consider myself rated R but compared to Lady E and her period sex blogs I am that shitty PG Steve Martin, Jack Black, and Owen Wilson movie that is coming out. I am going to try to hang though. Does banging two midgets count as a threesome? No.
I'm a weird guy and I think weird things. Case in point, I think the Kool Aid man may have diabetes. You can't be that large and have sugar water running through your veins for that long. Also, why did MTV remake Footloose? Footloose was already a classic. Kevin Bacon should impregnate one of MTV's Teen Moms for revenge.
Another thought I have is are there female leprechauns? I'm not saying leprechauns are gay but there are more males in that community than a Dungeons and Dragons tournament. Also, their pot of gold is kept at the end of a rainbow.
Remember when music was good? Neither do I. I don't listen to any modern music whatsoever. Musically I'm the equivalent of the 70 year old man with his bathrobe wide open yelling "Get off my lawn" I listen to mostly 80's and 90's rock. It's fucking time for 90's rock to be considered classic rock. Give me some benefit for getting older, c'mon! I also don't get what those young girls see in Justin Bieber. Since when did looking like Sally Jesse Raphael make you a sex symbol?
Also, I just got a smart phone and I promised myself that I wouldn't be one of those phone zombies glued to their phone. I lied. I'm already on that thing so much that I know I'm going to get hit by a bus soon. If I do, I'll deserve it. Don't walk and smart phone. I was going to add kids at the end of that last sentence but people who write to adults and refer to them as kids need to be slapped.
As some of you may know I co-run the tshirt company Soge Shirts. I suck at designing tshirts myself so I was lucky to find Lady E. Seriously if you haven't checked out some of the stuff she has done for us, it's pretty sweet. Not the most subtle product placement in the world but you have to admit trying to be clever is pretty overrated.
Tim is a consultant for Interactive Music Teacher where they teach online music lessons.