Oct 26, 2011

Deep Thoughts, by Tim

When Lady Estrogen gave me the word that I was allowed to post on her hilarious guest blog I was pretty excited. I then read her latest blog posts and I was like, fuck me. I consider myself rated R but compared to Lady E and her period sex blogs I am that shitty PG Steve Martin, Jack Black, and Owen Wilson movie that is coming out. I am going to try to hang though. Does banging two midgets count as a threesome? No.

I'm a weird guy and I think weird things. Case in point, I think the Kool Aid man may have diabetes. You can't be that large and have sugar water running through your veins for that long. Also, why did MTV remake Footloose? Footloose was already a classic. Kevin Bacon should impregnate one of MTV's Teen Moms for revenge.

Another thought I have is are there female leprechauns? I'm not saying leprechauns are gay but there are more males in that community than a Dungeons and Dragons tournament. Also, their pot of gold is kept at the end of a rainbow.

Remember when music was good? Neither do I. I don't listen to any modern music whatsoever. Musically I'm the equivalent of the 70 year old man with his bathrobe wide open yelling "Get off my lawn" I listen to mostly 80's and 90's rock. It's fucking time for 90's rock to be considered classic rock. Give me some benefit for getting older, c'mon! I also don't get what those young girls see in Justin Bieber. Since when did looking like Sally Jesse Raphael make you a sex symbol?

Also, I just got a smart phone and I promised myself that I wouldn't be one of those phone zombies glued to their phone. I lied. I'm already on that thing so much that I know I'm going to get hit by a bus soon. If I do, I'll deserve it. Don't walk and smart phone. I was going to add kids at the end of that last sentence but people who write to adults and refer to them as kids need to be slapped.

As some of you may know I co-run the tshirt company Soge Shirts. I suck at designing tshirts myself so I was lucky to find Lady E. Seriously if you haven't checked out some of the stuff she has done for us, it's pretty sweet. Not the most subtle product placement in the world but you have to admit trying to be clever is pretty overrated.

Tim is a consultant for Interactive Music Teacher where they teach online music lessons.

26 comments:

  1. Lady E, you just attract some fun dudes, don't ya?

    Great post. I cried at the midget quip. This means I have to COMPLETELY redo my bucket list!

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  2. I don't have a smart phone but one time I was texting and walked into a ladder hanging off the end of a pick up. Hope that makes you feel better about possible bus accidents lol Great guest post and I agree on current music ewww

    Now off to check out your tees I'm kinda t-shirt obsessed.

    And lady E's last post rocked sorry to her for my TMI comment but I just had to share I mean she did.

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  3. Ummm the midgets comment immediately made me remember mom talking about seeng the midget wrestlers in her early years and dancing with them. Did I mention my mom is big busted as am I. Now why do you think they wanted to walk and dance with her mmmm hmmm.. yeah.. Nice to meet ya hun.. loved your humor

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  4. I wish I had the opportunity to post on this awesome blog! :D

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  5. Tim, did ya REALLY have to throw in a midget joke? Coincidence or for my horror? I wonder.

    Thanks for coming over to post. Love working with you, you strange man, you. Yay!

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  6. Also? A link to your designs over there would be rad.

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  7. @Lost.In.Idaho thanks man glad you liked it. I enjoyed your losing your virginity post on Lady E's blog recently. Good stuff.

    @Jessica Yeah I've almost crashed into people while texting. If you like tees you might want to check out ours for sure. Besides Lady E's cool stuff all our tees are at www.sogeshirts.com

    @Lady E Did I have to? Absolutely. Pure coincidence though. I came up with that joke while reading George Carlin books. Makes my mind think of weird things. Thanks so much for having me. Your humor and tees rock.

    @Pamela Gold Thanks so much. Really thrilled you enjoyed it. All our tees can be found at www.sogeshirts.com We have a lot of designs so you might find something you like over there.
    @angelshrout I did not know they liked to party like that. Glad you liked it!

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  8. Tim, you are the best - and so are your shirts and your walking.

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  9. Why is it that when I try to comment all that come out is some kind of quip about life being too short for threesomes with midgets?

    Hmm, maybe I'll sack the comment and head over and look at the tee's instead!

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  10. Maegan Thanks. My walking skills are quite powerful second only to my skipping skills.

    @Sarah Mac lol that is a great line. Wish I would have thought of it!

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  11. Haha great post, Tim! It's nice to see your snarky side come out. :)

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  12. OMG. You're totally right. Leprechauns are a total sausage fest. Just like smurfs!!! (They only have one girl, and they're all supposed to be related, so I don't even wanna think about all the little blue guys banging Smurfette. And now that'll be all I can think about. Gee, thanks, Tim!)

    Agree re: Footloose. Rumor has it they're remaking Dirty Dancing. Evil!

    As for music, I suggest you try country. Awesome stuff out there right now. And if all else fails there's an all Pearl Jam channel on XM/Sirius!

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  13. @Leigh Ann Thanks. It was nice to unleash some of my madness over here. Might have to do it more often.

    @Angie Lmao Smurfs are just like that. Smurfette had it rough and I think Papa Smurf and the gang even turned to Vanity Smurf when they got bored of Smurfette. He was close to being a lady. Also the smurfs just got so damn tired of having blue balls all the time.

    Pearl Jam channel I must look into that. Spotify works pretty good too. Definitely have some pearl jam on there.

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  14. Lol, consider it your's honey.

    A small price to pay for the image of a naked 70 year old man now imprinted on my brain ;)

    Totally with you on the music by the way.

    Love, love LOVE the designs Lady E, I shall be getting myself a 'You're Blogfodder tee'!

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  15. @ Sarah Mac Awesome. Checked out your blog today. The post about the old bing ladies was hilarious.

    The You're Blogfodder tee rocks doesn't it?

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  16. I agree. Since when does looking like a lesbian spiral you into super star status?

    You're brain is almost as retarded as mine.

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  17. See? Retarded. I do know that the correct word would be your. Not you're.

    *sigh* nevermind.

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  18. An insult from SurferWife now my day is complete. Looking like a lesbian has worked for David Spade for years.

    Using proper grammar is fo losers yo.

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  19. Tim you just upped your cool points for being so fucking funny. Oops, I forgot..I cuss a lot but you are one witty man. Love it and here we all thought you were some straight laced goody goodie:)

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  20. Tim! Great to see you here.
    And using the F-bomb too!
    A whole new side!!

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  21. Truthful Mommy- I like to mix it up. Nothing wrong with a little cussing here and there.

    Leighann- Thanks, On twitter I try to censor myself sometimes. Over here I can say what I want :)

    Jillsmo- Hi Jill! *waves*

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  22. That was the most random post I've ever read. In other words, it was fucking AWESOME.

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  23. You two working together must've been like the Dream Team ;)

    I always thought Lady E's thought-provoking statements and designs are WAY better than that other gal... hmm... what's her name again... ;)

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