I'm talking about Satan's natural lubricant.
The devil's water slide.
Mother nature's snake painter...
----> PERIOD SEX <----
I have found that there are varying degrees of opinions from both genders. Some, on both sides, discount it as being nothing but a complete write-off for 3-5 days every month. Right about here is where I'd like to chalk up just one more reason why God is a twisted dude... it's a proven fact that women can get pretty fucking horny when they are menstruating.
Some guys I know have had their share of horror stories when it comes to this situation, and for that, I can't really blame them for having particular hang-ups about it. On behalf of all the crazy bitches that weren't up front about having their monthly lady sploodge, I apologize, because that shit just ain't right. That being said, I've found that if I were to liken the majority of men to that of Kryptonians, then a woman's menstrual blood would be their glowing crimson kryptonite to which they would recoil at the mere presence of it.
(Don't think I'm implying that all men are Superman. Easy there, killers. You'd be super too if you were the LAST human male, but alas, I digress.)
Some women that I know are completely turned off by it, and feel dirty and unsexy. Well, I'd personally like to take this opportunity to thank The Bible for that one. Talk about centuries of brainwashing - see how effective it was? I'm sure all the Puritan ghosts are giggling their repressed asses off right now.
It's biology, not a sin.
I'm not saying people need to LOVE it. It's not entirely pleasant and I'll admit that the thought of oral sex is pretty revolting, BUT it is not a disease or an isolated occurrence that should still be freaking people out. I should add that I might think if someone "LOVED" it, there's a strong chance that guy is a vampire. So, careful there.
Other women have admitted to me that they aren't adverse to it, but that their boyfriend/husband is completely grossed out, so it's become a moo point in their relationship.
The men that are willing to compromise are my secret heroes. My troopers. Way to take one for the team, guys! I know my friend's boyfriend was slightly grossed out, but he powered through it and she'd wipe off the worst of it afterwards; then he would take a shower. Simple. See?
That's fucking team work, people!
My husband? Well, there are apparently two substances in the world that will burn him upon contact.
His finger will sizzle off with holy water, and his cock will ignite when coming into direct contact with menstrual blood. Even if I'm completely finished, his line is always, "Let's wait one more day... ya know... just in case."
And as for me?
I'm actually a "meh" woman, myself. I could take it or leave it on most occasions, but I will say this...
If I'm utterly gagging for it and so happen to also be riding my crimson tide, I'm thinking: Man up! Throw down a maroon towel (navy works nicely too) and give me a good solid pounding!
What's your stance? Honestly, are you a trooper, a Kryptonian, or a vampire?