Hello from ‘Murrica! Brandon from My Own Private Idaho here. I have crossed the blogging border into Canadian territory to take over Adventures in Estrogen for a day. Lady E is like a sister from another mister to me.
• We’re both lefties
• We’re both Aquarians, and both garnet-clad (January babies)
• We’re both sexual deviants, and love every bit of it
When I think “sex stories” and “totally fucked up” I automatically think Lady E’s site. It’s only fitting that I share my wonderful ‘first time’ adventure with you on this blog. So sit back, relax, put on some mood music, and enjoy the takeover.
I’m a little embarrassed to admit I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 19. I haven’t always been a confident, flirty guy. Charm is learned and swagger is earned. Back in my teens, I was an introverted dork with no game whatsoever.
Her name was M, and in 18 months she would be my wife (YES, I KNOW, I married my first. It just went from lame to ultra-lame…). We met at an after-party, and hit it off. We dated, and about a month into it we moved our fun into the bedroom.
It started innocently enough. Our first night together, all she wanted was a long massage. We slept together, but didn't have sex. She just wanted to… gasp… cuddle. Fast forward to about 1am, when she’s fast asleep and I’m still wide awake.
Holy shit, I’m in bed with a chick. Sex is inevitable. Did I read enough Maxim articles? Do I remember all the tricks and stuff I learned? What if I’m not good? What if--
And then I felt it. Her hand wandered up my thigh and onto my junk. She was playing with me in her sleep.
IT WAS AWESOME.
A few nights of cuddling and sleep-wanking later, we are finally ready to do the deed. She wasn't a virgin like I was, so the bar had already been set. I NEED to be good, or else it’ll be one and done.
Kissing, foreplay, yadda yadda yadda, and time for the real deal. I slip on the condom, and go inside her.
….hmmm…. not bad. I like this. And she’s liking it. Off to a good start, Brandon…
I’m a nervous fucking wreck.
I’m pumping away, thinking “Holy shit, if I blow my load in her, she may get pregnant. I know I’m wearing a condom, but what if it breaks? Do I shoot it all over her? Is she on birth control?
Meanwhile, while I’m fretting like it’s going out of style, she’s ramping up to O number two. My brain may be ruining it for me, but my hands/pelvis/rhythm is still spot-on.
A lot of sexual gymnastics (and 2 more orgasms) later, I fake mine to mimic a mutual climax. She’s spent, breathing hard, and speaking incoherently. Since her head was spinning, she didn't notice me discarding an empty condom…
After some recovery, she asked me how I was so good since this was my first time. So I told her my secret… anxiety.
Anxiety had made me a sex god…
After some talking and assurance on her end (and a little bit of laughter… bitch…), I realized my fears were pointless. She was on the pill, and condoms rarely break (especially the thick-ass ones I bought…). There’s always a CHANCE she could get preggers, but she doesn’t want to be a mother just yet.
In other words, I have nothing to worry about.
I calmed down. I felt like I could actually get off now. The next day, we went at it again, and I actually got my rocks off.
…after about 90 seconds…
How great is Brandon? Let's all give him a warm round of applause! I rarely hear about a faker of the male persuasion.
Fucking classic. Be sure to check him out over at his place if you haven't already. Yay!