Aug 26, 2011

Unfastened Friday 3.0

It's about that time again folks!
Enjoy these titillating tales and have a fabulous weekend :)

1. Quick on the Draw
Ok, so hubby and I have an open relationship. One of my shall we say turn ons is guys in uniform. So lucky me hubby was a firefighter and many of them happened to be EMTs. One of them decided he could handle me...

Ummm, yeah.

So he shows up one night to show off at his bedroom skills and he was on duty. The instant the tones dropped (a term used for setting off alarms to call for ambulances firetrucks, etc.) so did he. I mean, literally one second it was there, the next it was gone. Being the wife of a firefighter, I could honestly say that was not usually the case. I mean, adrenaline tends to keep things pumping. Yeah not for him...

I still call him Quick Draw McGraw.

Singedwingangel


2. Ripped and Torn
I had a boyfriend once who's fantasy was to rip my underwear off.

Having carefully selected some sexy (but cheap) knickers I told him to go for it one night.

We ended up in casualty, him with a broken finger and me with with a lace thong practically embedded in my lady parts!

I can proudly announce that I am NOT known for the looseness of my elastic (oh, and that using his teeth to remove them in the future turned out to be the better option)

Sarah Mac


3. One Hot Ass Coming Up
I am a huge guacamole fan. Simple ingredients; avocado, onion, tomato, salt and a jalapeno.

Yeah... that's where our lit'l tale begins, because with bedroom eyes and my fiery hot index finger, my partner and I discovered the true meaning of a hot ass.

Sparing the details, I can say this story ends realz badz, with me standin in a state of limp dick and my honey with an inflamed rectum. So sorry honey! So sorry that my jalapeno approach fell flat... some guacamole recipe! Left me feeling guilty/empty AND having to deal with 2 sets of blue balls!

Todd Carr


4. Sticky Stalker
I once had a stalker from Australia that sent me a video of herself. Her dog was licking peanut butter off her hoo-ha...
while looking at a photo of me.

Process that one.

Jeremy London

---------------------------------------------------------
If you have a 'quickie' story, then please send it to me here! It can be 100% anonymous if you like - just don't fill out the name & email field - it will STILL send if those aren't filled, yo!

12 comments:

  1. I love that Jeremy London contributed. And I love this series.

    ReplyDelete
  2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    #3 was just... too creative? too culinary?? I don't know how to call it.

    #4 Ewww I need to get rid of the image it's produced on my brain.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Umm #4 concerns me.. seriously?? I mean I have 2 male dogs and if I am in the potty they are all UP in my stuff and I am smacking them away.. without the help of peanut butter. So it concerns me that she would WANT the dog to do it, and that it took Peanut butter to get it to do it,, on top of the fact that she was looking at a guy's picture.. so is she saying HE is a dog?? Too many things to wrap my mind around on that one..

    ReplyDelete
  4. @Singedwingangel

    3 syllables:

    CA - RAY - ZEEEE

    ReplyDelete
  5. Omg! Hilarious.
    The hot bum one is why I don't play with food.
    Wait.
    What?

    ReplyDelete
  6. thanks Lady E for the airplay! hope my mother isn't reading :/

    ReplyDelete
  7. ha ha ha ha
    the jeremy London one is fucking minging!! xx please say it's true! x

    ReplyDelete
  8. OH my god...I may never erase #4 from my mental image bank.....

    #1...there's a FF in town rumored to have that...issue, even if he's NOT on call lol

    ReplyDelete
  9. Loved them all! Hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hahahahahahahaha! Seriously, Jalapenos and Guacamole? Some foods do not belong in the bedroom. I'm sure that really hurt!

    ReplyDelete
  11. at first i thought these were all YOUR tales...........whoa.

    i'm better now. ha!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I love love love stories like these!

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.