Join or No Bacon!

When the fabulous Carri Brown over at Mommy's Little Monster Blake suggested that one of Mama Kat's writing prompts have to do with BACON. Seriously, how could I resist that? How could anyone, really?

I'll just cut right to it then, shall I?
Here are the Top 10 Reasons why bacon is so fucking awesome:

1. It's likely the only substance that is greasier than my face, so, right there, it's a self esteem booster.

2. Not only is there a type called Canadian Bacon, but it's also a movie that stars John Candy and Rip Torn.

3. When it gets hot, the fat just melts right off - IF ONLY IT WAS THAT EASY! This point makes me slightly jealous of bacon.

4. It is a food item I can easily arrange to have exactly 4 pieces of; this appeases my OCD very nicely.

5. Not very many foods can rock both ketchup AND maple syrup. Preferably not at the same time, but condiment cross-contaminant bleeds are known to occur and yet, it's still scrumptious.

6. It's stripey and stripes are so hot right now.

7. One of the best quotes from Dazed and Confused refers to it: Now fry like bacon, you little freshman piggies. FRY!

8. Did you know George Washington insisted the American flag be made to resemble strips of bacon?
TRUE STORY... well, it's on YouTube, so it must be true, right? Dammit! This has created a rare moment when I wished I was American. Apparently, there's a Bacon Party.

9. There is a company billboard I pass frequently for URBA CON (an urban development company) - but the way their logo is,
(to me) it reads U-R-BACON... I love it and it makes me hungry every time I drive by it.

10. Without bacon, scallops are nothing but fishy rubber marshmallows. It is only when the scallop is wrapped in a blanket of bacon goodness that it truly becomes a divine and delectable h'orderve.