Jun 10, 2011

Five Funny F*ckrz

I have noticed one thing over the last year and a bit while visiting other blogs - once I read them... once we all read them, there are gone the next day, added into the blog pile archive. I find this a little sad, because it's obvious that people put A LOT of effort into theses posts/features. I really wish I had started this earlier, but I guess it's better late than never, right? It's not going to be regular, but I'll start a running tally and whenever I get to 5, I'll post them.

Here are 5 things that I really had a good laugh over; I feel like it's only right to give them an extra pat on their backs for their spectacularly funny shit! Actually, screw the back patting; I'm more of a congratulatory smack on the ass kind-of-girl - so let's go with that. SMACK! Way to go, funny fuckers!

1. bigwords: The Tampon Revolution: Top 7 Ways To Modernise Tampons
It starts off guns blazing even with the disclaimer:
* Warning this post contains the word tampon. It may offend some people who don't use them.
For the record, I vote for Penis-shaped.

2. Comediva: I'm a Girl and I'm Funny, Yo
I want to be them when I grow up. True Story.
"Do my routine - it kills! There's no dispute. Oh, and I got a dog, ya; he's fucking cute!"

I'm a Girl and I'm Funny, Yo from Comediva on Vimeo.

3. Midget Man of Steel: I Google Alphabetically
I really don't know what's funnier - the weird shit that people type into Google OR the smart ass comments from Moog. It would at least have to be a 40/60 split. It's all hilarious! Also? I'm convinced that he does not work while at "work" - even less than me - and that is saying a lot.

4. I'm Gonna' Kill Him: Textual Healing
Some insightful shorthand texting that would be helpful to any good marriage. I know I'm going to have to teach my husband a couple, if not all of these gems. My personal favorites:

HIM: SFC? (Stop for Condoms?)
YOU: NSFIC (Nah, Stop for Ice Cream)

HIM: AYSM? (Are you spending money?)
YOU: LTAWIS (Let’s talk about what I’m saving)

5. Toy With Me: Exactly Like That Scene in Pretty Woman. Only Totally Different
Yes, exactly because it happened to her, and NOT to me. My favorite excerpt:

"I looked a little bit like Helena Bonham Carter
and not in a fun, Bohemian crazy lady way, but in a Bride of Frankenstein on
crystal meth kind of way."

It's hilarious because I've got that visual in my head and it's super sexy, yo! It is a bit odd that she sports that look in a lot of her movies, now that I think about it, but I won't digress.

Have a fantastic weekend, party people!


  1. I now have a goal: To someday make this list.

    She will be mine, Garth. Oh yes, she will be mine....

  2. @Lost.in.Idaho
    You just want a slap on the ass, don't you? lol
    You rock; I'm sure you'll make the list! x

  3. ROFLAPMP!!!!!! Those all had me laughing so hard that I got evil looks from the boyfriend!!!! You definitely have to continue this feature!

  4. yeah, i've noticed that too...here one day gone the next.

  5. I'm still giggling from when, in I'm A Girl And I'm Funny, Yo, she said, " I got a dog....yeah, she's fuckin cute! "

  6. Love this feature! Now, gotta work hard to get on the list yee haw!

  7. Five Funny Fuckers...nice alliteration! I'll be the judge of how funny they are...

  8. Omg that video was fabulous! Im going to check the rest of them out :)

  9. @Brittney
    Yay! They are so gawd damn funny. I love them lots.

    Please judge, and enjoy.

  10. Thanks for the ass slap!! Best I've felt all day ;) Awesome idea!

  11. I will take the ass slap and raise you a rub and tug.

    I have no idea what that means but I'm just throwing it out there.


  12. Did we just get a slap on the ass from the fabulous Lady Estrogen? We're floored. And a little aroused. Thanks for the shout-out! We are all big fans of yours as well. ;)

  13. So fucking stoked that Crissy made the list. All I want is to make one person's blog roll. That's all, it's not much.

  14. I enjoyed that video, comedy isn't gender exclusive and I hate guys that act like women can't be funny.

  15. @Rob
    I also LOVE how she sings, or sorry, raps about not being plump, ugly or Jewish but she's still funny anyway. Classic.

  16. Totally needed this post. Need the laugh, going to visit them all, thanks!

  17. Hey, if Lost doesn't want that slap on the ass, can I get in on the action?

  18. I'm gonna end up on this list even if I have to break into the white house butt ass naked and steal Michelle's coco butter!

  19. I love your blog, from the banner to your oh-so-cool attitude, I swear you're the coolest chick in bloggerland. You're like the Pink of bloggers (and by Pink, I mean the singer, not the colour...and if you don't like Pink, then imagine someone you find way cool and tough, and insert your face!) Now I'm off to check out those blogs you mentioned. It's true, we spend so much time writing our posts, and then, poof! Nothing!

  20. I hate it when guys say "is it that time of the month" urrrgh

  21. All those are hilarious! U belong on that list too though bitch!

  22. @Karen
    Haha - thanks, lady!
    But my narcissistic self-musings are evident every other post I do - I wanted this one JUST to be for others. LOL

    You just made my day. Thank you for your lovely comment :)

  23. Such perfection first thing on a Monday morning after driving my husband's ass to the airport at 4.30am ... me looking all Helena in a non vamped way and all.
    Hello new week, its looking better with this new reading material!

  24. I just got back from holidays and saw this far too kind and very ego-boosting inclusion on your list. Thanks so much!!!! I get excited thinking that someone thinks some of the things I write are funny - you make one! Once I get a moment I will try and read the others on the list.

    mmmwwwaaahhh xx

  25. So not only have you been blogging away whilst I've been on vacation - holiday ;) - you're now linking up to other funny shit. Just quickly read that google alphabetically one...PMSL! I do that sometimes!


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