Jun 17, 2011

Camp Guilty

My mother always told me that I had "one of those faces" that always made me look guilty - even when I hadn't done anything. I didn't really get into a lot of trouble growing up, but I sure had my moments; when I went out, I went out with a bang, bang, bangity bang ba-bang!*

In grade 8, there were two fairly major trips that we looked forward to: the Quebec trip and the camping trip. Every grade 8 class for decades had been going to the camp that our school district owned; it was the traditional 4-days and 3-nights 'right of passage'.

We all arrived excited and ready to do all the camping-oriented activities... but what was really the best part? The nights by the camp fire, or more specifically, cozy co-ed nights by the fire. It was a huge deal for most hormonal pre-teens, such as ourselves.

The first day when off without a hitch.

We did crafts.
We orienteered.
We went rowing.
We did lame-ass group trust exercises.
We sung songs around the campfire - awe, so snugly.

Of course, the only guy I wanted to snuggle with on that trip was the counselor, who was 21 and mighty fine. What can I say? I had good taste. What's 8 years difference anyway? When he's 48, I would be 40 - no problem! I guess I didn't win him over with my 13 year old feminine wiles; which in hindsight is probably a good thing, because that would have made him officially a pedophile... but I digress.

Time for bed; lights out.
There was only one rule: Girls stay in their cabin; boys stay in their cabin.

I still don't know who had the Jason mask or how the hell I got a hold of it, but about 1/2 an hour after "lights out", I put on the glow-in-the-dark mask and left the girls' cabin. I crept up to the windows of the boys' cabin like a lioness approaching her prey and then I jumped up and in my scariest voice, I yelled:


OK. So, as you can well imagine, they all went berserk; I was a god damn legend that night. My shit-disturbing antics then caused them to open their back emergency door, leading to the girls' adjacent emergency door... which was then, of course, also opened. It rapidly escalated into a complete free-for-all.

Pure unsupervised pubescent chaos.

The next morning, the teachers gathered us all together and we were told we were getting sent home; the entire class. In the past, they had had to send specific students home, but NEVER the entire class.

Not once in over 30 years.

The best part? For some miraculous reason, I was never busted or ratted out as being the main instigator. I guess on that particular morning, my guilty face blended in nicely with everyone else's.

Mama's Losin' It

* Bang Bang Bangity Bang Ba-bang is from How I Met Your Mother - watch the song here - so damn funny.


  1. Oh my, you started young, you little devil!!!!!

    I would have totally loved you as a high school friend.

  2. I can't believe no one ratted you out. That's hilarious. You are my summer camp idol.

  3. ahaha! you did what they didn't have the balls to do! I never did do the summer camp bullshit, I was a sissy back then LOL

  4. @Mama
    Yay!! More friends! lol

    I can't believe it either, really.

    To be fair, we really didn't have much of a choice - it wasn't really optional - you would have had to have sucked it up ;)

  5. I may have just peed my pants. Thank you.

  6. You are bad ass. I wish I had done that kinda thing but I was and am too chicken. *hangs head in shame*

  7. What, no mention of me mooning you guys or flashing my weiner...

    I opened that emergency door first from our side. You know whats funny, the teachers were off getting wasted and left us unsupervised and i'm sooo surprised our parents never flipped on them for leaving us alone.

    I remember our teacher said 'we were watching you the whole time' (b/c it lasted like 30min) but bullshit!!! I can't believe I didn't say something myself. Good story.

  8. Oh, you are pure evil! I would have never had the balls to do something like that. We hid bras and snuck candy and lame sh*t like that, but wow...I think you should have gone to my camps to shake things up a bit. You are so lucky you didn't get busted. Brilliant.


  9. U are indeed a bad ass! That is too fucking funny!

    I saw that counselor again when I was 19. He was refereeing at a basketball tourney that I was playing in. I was a big girl now, deflowered and ready for action - and I still struck out. Fuck - he was truly soooo very fine.

  11. Lady E, I just pissed myself laughing. I could see you doing the whole Jason you fuckers get ready to die thing. God I love a guilty woman!

  12. If you can't get your freak on with the counselor, might as well stir up trouble! Shit, I was a total troublemaker as a kid, but nothing as classic as that!!

  13. haha man you had some loyal friends if they didnt rat you out most 8th graders would in a second!

  14. @Brittney
    They were probably too scared - ya don't fuck with 13yr old Lady E. HAHAHA

    YEAH! You're right - it was the embodiment of my sexual frustration that made me act out. LMAO

  15. Bwhahaha.. I would have loved to hang out with you as a kid.. and money for the boy's faces when they saw you in the mask.. too funny

  16. I loved camp, well kinda. I think I liked bonding with the other kids. I hated bugs, was afraid of the dark and didn't like the food. Ironically, I insisted on going to Girl Scout camp because I was afraid the boys would tease me. Man, I missed out on so much by thinking that way :(

  17. You're insane. Beautifully.

  18. Your 8th grade class went to Quebec. MY 8th grade class went to an amusement park (where I rode the Tunnel of Love ride. With a girl. Hubba hubba).
    You know where the 8th grade at the school where I work went (well, of course you don't)? They were given their yearbooks, a cup of juice, a bag of popcorn, and banished outside where they had their "picnic." More like free-range chicken if you ask me.

  19. ha ha you're bloody funny! x

  20. I would expect NO LESS from you, My Dear!

  21. You were my hero before but you're an even bigger hero now - LOVE IT!

    Right, off to catch up on 2 weeks of your blog posts.


  22. Ha! Look at you being all guilty and getting away with it. By the way, I'm really scared of you now. I will never see you without that Jason mask on. Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

  23. That is freaking awesome! Although if I was at the camp I probably would have died of terror-fication or something.

  24. Visiting your blog for the first time from Monday Mingle. What a great story! I bet those boys peed there pants. The only reason they didn't rat you out is because they were embarassed you scared the crap out of them! So worth going home early. You're now a school ledgend I bet.

  25. Oh my fellow Canadian friend.
    We too did the camping and Quebec Trip.
    I pretended I got my period on the camping trip.
    Then I climbed out the hostel window in quebec and peed in some old guys back yard.

  26. So wait.

    They really sent everybody home after one night at camp because of you?



  27. @Leighann
    Why did you pee in his backyard? Just for shits 'n giggles? haha

    I know - funny, but definitely not on of my shining moments.
    It did cause a ruckus, to say the least. After the initial 5min, we were all guilty.
    I think this is how riots start - keep me away from NHL finals, for real!

  28. Dying! I am dying! Seriously, you crack me up! Greatest. Camp. Story. Ever.

  29. Love that you got away with it! Legend!


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