Mar 30, 2011

Lady Estrogen's World

This post is like spotting a unicorn; it's rare, exciting and you're not quite sure whether or not it's real or an hallucination! Oh, it's real, people! Please sit back and enjoy reading a little more about me - the woman behind all this madness, according to my 'ever suffering' husband:

The other night, my wife asked me to write a blog about her. I was a bit skeptical at first as I am not allowed to read her blog or even talk about it. She tells me stories about her blog and I just nod my head and smile. So to write something about her was not something I had even considered. I could probably write a Master Thesis about her and that still wouldn’t be enough to convey the multiple personalities and habits (both good and bad) that LE embodies. Therefore, I am going to present SIX traits (just to mess with her OCD of preferring things in fours*) where we have differing opinions on:

1. Lady Estrogen has good ideas – her brain is going non-stop.
She has about 200 projects on the go right now. When are these projects going to be finished? Who knows, I’m pretty sure that LE doesn’t even know. I saw a good quote the other day on a billboard outside a church/community centre that was totally directed at LE – “Life should be like a postage stamp, stick to one thing until it has reached its destination.” Unfortunately, it would probably lead to another half-started project if she saw it.

2. She is addicted to shopping. 
There isn’t a day that goes by with her nose in a catalogue or surfing online. Infomercials were created with her specifically in mind. I am very thankful that she doesn’t watch The Shopping Channel. She has an uncanny ability to burn through money in my pockets.

3. She is absolutely useless with directions.
She can live in the same town/city for years and still not know the street names she drives on or how to get anywhere. She needs a GPS unit just to go to the grocery store (you would think going the first time would be enough to remember how to get there).** Apparently she travelled all around Australia for an entire year before we met and didn’t get lost. To this day, I still can’t figure that one out.

4. She likes to talk – a lot.
I am pretty certain that Lady Estrogen really likes the sound of her own voice. So much in fact, she will hold entire conversations with me even though I am not in the same room. She even has the nerve to get mad at me when I don’t reply. Sorry Honey, but I am not Superman, I can’t hear you through walls! Even if I did reply, she probably wouldn’t listen. This leads onto the next point…

5. She is not a good listener.
She says she listens to me, but truth be told, she doesn’t. She has very selective hearing when it comes to anything I have to say. Even when she asks for my opinion, she won’t listen (I have actual proof of this).

6. She thinks she is smart.
Quoting an obscure movie line by line doesn't make you smart! Reciting Pi to the 100th digit is smart. Brain surgery is smart. Forecasting future traffic volumes and how they will impact the road network is smart*** – Reciting Ferris Bueller’s Day Off every time it's on TV is just plain annoying.

I am living with Lady Estrogen in Lady Estrogen’s world. This world is not the world that the rest of us live in. It is a world where she is King, Queen, President, and Prime Minister. If you are not apart of it, then hold on tight – it’s a very bumpy ride. Surprisingly, it's one ride that I am very happy (and lucky) to be on.

* Jokes on you, hun - 6 is fine. If it was 5 or 7, that would have pissed me off.
** Just because I don't care to know the name of the street doesn't mean I don't know where the grocery store is, sheesh!
*** Forecasting future traffic volumes? That's what HE does - so he's basically saying that HE is smart and I am not. For the record, we had our I.Q.'s tested years ago and he's never gotten over the fact that I scored higher... on two separate tests.

Love you, babe! Thank you!


  1. It makes me happy to hear someone say that she is useless with directions...because she has been mad at me for the same thing, she's not perfect but we love her anyway. Great post!

  2. haha!! great!! oh and for my directions....I always turn left at the second tree, and right at the big rock. we're visual. ooo, almost to 300 followers on GFC!! I knew you rocked!! xoxo

  3. Are we supposed to refer to you as Sir Testosterone?

  4. Fantastic! If I got my hubby to do one about me it would say, " Blogging is fucking stupid and I wish Lesley would go make me a sandwich. "

  5. Oh LE, you were right! This is a great roast!

    Firstly, I agree with your 1 million projects on the go. Make that 1 million and 1, including our dream cupcake shop. I think we should include boobie cupcakes with pink icing and a swedish berry nipples.

    Your hubby forgot to mention a few of your best qualities/attributes.

    1) Your witch laugh. You have this infection witch cackle which makes everything funnier.

    2) Smart. You are smart like a fox and HAWT like one too. You were one of few that I trusted to be in a group project with in school because you were smart, completed all the your tasks on time and weren't afraid to get your hands dirty (amongst other things).

    3) Awesome taste in music. We like the same bands = great taste. Period.

    4) Sense of humour. You have a sick and sarcastic sense of humour. You can definitely roll with the punches. Great one liners and witty comments.

    5) Creativity. You are suuuuuuper creative. If you aren't painting, you're designing, illustrating, writing or thinking of your next big project.

    6)You fucking rock. :)



  6. infectious witch cackle... not infection... well, maybe ;)

  7. Keep him 'edited' and all is fair in love and estrogen'! lol

  8. Hahah. Such fun to drag our significant others into our crazy blog worlds.

    Love this post!

  9. @AnitaVector Awe, thanks hun :)
    Likin' the nipple cupcakes, for sure - I'll add it to my list!!!

    @jillsmo I don't know about that, but Sir Testy is a good fit, trust me. LOL

  10. Haha, I vote for Sir Testy! Definitely should be his blog name.

  11. First, if that guy in the picture is your hubby you are one lucky man. Second, I am great with directive so apparently, we aren't exactly the same. Third, is he Australian with a kick ass accent? NOT FAIR! Fourth, I don't even start projects. Fifth, you sound awesome and sixth,,,

    He's a lucky boy!!!!

  12. @Lynn
    No, that's not him.
    Sadly, not Australian, but not for a lack of trying, seriously!!
    I AM OK with directions if I'm forced to be - but since he is a walking GPS, why should I bother trying? I DID make my way around a continent in one piece though :)

  13. Ah, many projects, no end in sight. Yep. That's me. My husband would so go on about that.

    Also, I can find anything as long as no one throws those "left" or " right" words at me. Cause then I have to stop and think.

    And husbands can find any excuse to not hear their wife.

  14. AWESOME ...LOLOLOL....what a great made me it some more....As always....XOXOXO

  15. This was a cool read and definitely saw some points there with us women or maybe most of us that we could relate.... And, I chuckled in between because I was seeing myself with some of her qualities.... Pity! But that's just us anyway.... LOL

  16. Every time my sister comes to visit - or I go visit her - she makes comments like "how do you even make it to work every day?!?!" Because I don't know street names. In new places I get confused and forget how to get from A to B. She's been saying this since we were teenagers - somehow I still manage to get around on a daily basis and don't wander around Phoenix aimlessly - hopelessly lost because my sister isn't here to tell me every turn I must make... *rolls eyes*

  17. OK I don't know street names either. I live in the sticks we use landmarks for directions..period. Turn at the tree, look for the house with a boat being built in it's driveway.
    I have a million good ideas as well but no one to listen.
    This was too cute.. but I would never allow my hubby to do a roast to me..

  18. LE, it's a proven fact that highly intelligent people are usually misunderstood by others:)

  19. I am directionally challenged too. I am horrible. Even if I use Map Quest I have to reverse the directions home and I still fuck it up. One time I got my kids and I lost on a hiking trail, it began to rain and we only had 1 bottle of water left. Somehow, we ended up on a farm from a nature trail.

    I'm so not a good listener either. I can't get beyond listening to one sentence before I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do later that evening. I just get bored.

    Your husband did good...Very funny!

  20. Okay...first off-your husband is hawt. (Is that being too bold?) But so are this doesn't shock me at all.

    LOVED the write up about you...somehow I know it's exactly what Mr. Boobies would say about me.

    Mr. Estrogen..(is that what I call him?) it's okay to nod and smile when she fact, that's a genius plan!

    Great post!

  21. Ha! You're a good sport Mr. E- and you too LE, for allowing it! haha.

  22. i might let my husband write a blog about me??!!!!!
    very very entertaining! x

  23. Oh God. You are brave girl. I don't know if I would let my boyfriend post on my blog. (He's done it before, but without my permission, and strangely, it was my most popular blog post for a long time. Man can get his own damn blog!) But other than that, I got a good laugh. The man is lucky to have you.

  24. This is hilarious! Props to Lord Estrogen for participating and being a good sport.

    P.S. Reciting Pi to the 100th digit is not smart -- it's memorization.

  25. I am sooo happy to meet the Mister behind the Misses! And even happier to read about all the 'crazy' traits my friend has!

    YOU, Mr. Lady E, are a very very lucky man. Your wife is something else and I'm glad to have met her.

    Now stay the fuck off her blog so she can keep it juicy!
    LOL - lotsa love to both of you.

  26. FUckin' sweet! you OCD bitch! Oh how I've your blog! :) I can only imagine what my hubs would fucking say about my spoiled ass! haha


  27. Ah, the man behind the Estrogen. Love it.

  28. Well your "faults" just make me love you more. haha I think most of my arguments with my hubs have been over a map driving around somewhere in the car. I'm directionally challenged.

  29. Team work... You two rock! So I hope your husband will make this a routine!

  30. I face almost all the allegations, except for 1, 2 and 5. Well, I know it. It is a woman thing. X-chromosomes rock, babe!

    Joy always,

  31. I love it! I know you know.. I KNOW YOU! lol He's awesome!

    You are too... for letting him.



  32. You don't really need to know street names if you can remember land marks, which is how I still get around. If I am driving too far from home then I have either Prince Charming with me, my personal GPS or the computer GPS. If all else fails I call Prince Charming and tell him I'm lost, when he asks where I am he gets a very sarcastic "in the car!"

  33. I'm still laughing - so how many boobie slaps did he get for that one LOL

  34. I love this.

    The first rule about LE's blog is you don't talk about LE's blog.

    The second rule...

  35. None of this surprises me.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.