Mar 8, 2011

Mommy dearest

I'm finding it difficult finding the words to pay tribute to such an amazing woman:
My mother.
I think what astounds me the most is although she has taught me so much, I struggle every day to be like her; to be a better person.

She is forgiving; I am not.
There have been some atrocities that have been done to my mother in the past and I know about them and who did them. She has forgiven them and yet I detest them. I will never forgive them and I have zero intentions to rectify those relationships.

She has over-come so much. Many (who have gone through much less) use their pasts as crutches as to why or how the world has done them wrong and it's at the root of all their current misfortune, poor choices, and short-comings. I often fail to empathize with these people because I think "If my mother could have done it, why couldn't you?"

She is able to move forward; I cannot forget the past.
I hold on to both good and bad things that have happened so tightly and I really cannot understand why I'm always so terrified to let go. I often feel that they make up a part of me and if I forget them, move on or let go, that I will be losing those parts of myself forever.

My mother has let go of many things and yet she remains whole. I see her lead by example and yet I cannot take that leap of faith.

Faith.
After everything, she still has her faith. I lose mine on a daily basis. I see my faith more like genetic trait. I will not fight it and I will surely pass it down to my children, but I have no passion about it. I do believe, but I'm often angry with God.

My mother may be divine, but she is no saint. She has a fantastic sense of humor and whether she wants to admit it or not, it's one of the few qualities I did manage to get from her. Don't try to fight it, Ma, you're good and warped... and that is why you are so incredible to me.

You are my hero, my best friend and I love you.

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19 comments:

  1. what a nice post. It always saddens me when I encounter people who have NO relationship with their mother, or a really crappy one. I miss my mother terribly, every day.

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  2. there are so many lovely words in this posts. your mother sounds like an amazing woman!

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  3. Sounds like your Mom and mine have a lot in common. My Mom also has been wronged by some people in her life, she let it go but I haven't. I totally defend my Mom to the death - ninja warrior style! She ain't perfect either, but I love her!

    Karen
    lilmuna.blogspot.com

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  4. Thank you for participating this week in the Tuesday Train Blog Hop! I wanted to stop by and say hi! I am a new follower! :)

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  5. Great one ..i m a new follower ...

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  6. I am a new follower of your blog thru Tuesday Blog Hop! I am also a new blogger with a little over 2 months experience. I still have alot to learn and nowhere near ready to do reviews or contests but I do post other bloggers contests that I think are interesting. I would greaty appreciate a follow back. Thanks!

    Mary@http://mmbearcupoftea.blogspot.com

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  7. I'm hopping off the Tuesday Train for a visit. What a nice tribute to your mom. I know you make her proud :)

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  8. New follower. When you get the chance please follow me back.. http://realadventuresfromamomof3.blogspot.com/

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  9. That is beautiful. I lost my Mum in 1999 and would do anything to spend time with her again. Good for you to pay tribute to her like that and appreciate her so much.
    I am a new follower from FMBT, I believe we have a mutual gal pal in the lovely Bobbies over at BB and a Blog. I would love it if you'd check me out too.
    http://tragiccreativity.blogspot.com
    Nice to meet you!

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  10. Such a beautiful post! Loving your blog by the way..Found you via blog hop Tuesday. Hope to see you over at http://shallowocity.blogspot.com

    CHEERS!

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  11. I am your new follower. You can visit me at http://showmemama.com. Make sure you leave a comment so I know you visited.

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  12. awwww your mom sounds awesome! What a sweet tribute!

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  13. Awe you are such a cutie. What do you think your boys will say about you? I often wonder what my girls will say...
    xo

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  14. This was so beautiful. You mom sounds freaking amazing. This post helped me to appreciate my mother a whole lot more. I was a little ass hole growing up and put her though hell when I think about it. I wish I had a relationship with my mother just as you have. I think I'll work on it ;)

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  15. wow girl...you amaze me w every post. inspirational :) makes me wanna call my mom.

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  16. Beautiful tribute! A mother is a very special gift indeed....I could not imagine being without mine!

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  17. My dear, I relate. So, so much. And it's good that you get to realize these things now, because so often when we do appreciate our mothers, it's far too late.

    http://www.ittybittycrazy.com/imported-data/2009/8/16/memory-lane-my-mother.html

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  18. This was such a sweet post. I really enjoyed reading it

    -DP
    Hip Chick's Guide to PMS, Pregnancy, and Babies

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