Mar 16, 2011

Tale of a Stripper (Part 2)


So, without further adieu, here's part deux...    

I can still feel the trembling in my knees, just remembering that night. I had to walk down some steps onto the stage in super high heels that weren't even mine and into the spot light where about 6 men sat quietly at tables in the darkened room. There were several other girls sitting around or gyrating on various customers, but for the most part, it was quiet and terrifying. My heart was pounding and I wanted to throw up. I was completely sober, it was about 4 in the afternoon and I was about to take my top off for a room of strangers. I somehow managed to jiggle and wiggle around the stage for the duration of the song, but I'm sure it was horrible because I was so scared and shaky and I could feel my knees wanting to buckle the whole time.

I was pretty sure the manager would ask me to give back the dress and shoes and send me on my idiotic way. But to my shock and dismay, he hired me & told me that I could start the next night. Holy Shit! I didn't even want to do it anymore, I just wanted to go home and try to find my dignity and self-respect, take a shower and put on my fuzzy jammies.

But I didn't do any of those things. I went to the stripper store and bought myself some slutty dresses and fancy thongs and went back the next night, determined to overcome my fear. I came up with a fake name for myself and created a new identity. Each time I went on stage, I was a little bit less horrified by myself. A little more comfortable when the dress came off. Having a little bit more fun. I started to enjoy the sense of power that I had over the men in the club as I looked out and into their eyes and saw that I was their fantasy. I never let them touch me and yet they gave me their paychecks. They would whisper in my ear that they would go home that night & fuck their wife and be thinking of me while they did it.

I made $1000 my first weekend.

I worked 3 nights and came home with the same amount of money that I'd make in a month at my day job. I only worked for that month between interview and vacation because after that I didn't need the big cash flow anymore. It was tempting to stick with it because there were some great things about it, but I realized how easy it would be to get sucked into the whole life. I'd get accustomed to living a lifestyle that I couldn't afford while working an honest and honorable job. I could feel myself starting to despise men and see them only as pawns to be manipulated.

I knew that eventually I wanted to get married and have kids, but what kind of decent man would want a girl who was a stripper. I recognized that I needed to get out before it became my identity. It's fun to look back on that period of time and the things I saw and experienced while I was working there, but it has nothing to do with my life any more. I'm married to a wonderful man and have been for many years now. He knows about my little dip into depravity and he doesn't hold it against me. I'm thankful for the little snip of wisdom that I possessed at the young age of 21 to be able to walk away before any real harm was done.

And one valuable lesson I learned during that crazy month - never swing on a pole with gloves on. You will fall on your ass and look anything but sexy.

17 comments:

  1. wow girl...I never realized. great post!

    I suppose many of us have those times in our life where we went a little to "the dark side" (hmm, maybe a bit strong?) ...but still, I too did somethings that weren't necessarily high class, and I don't regret. sorta look as an experience to be learned from. a memory to hold onto -- and when I feel a bit too "mommyish" I just remember and know that I was in a place that -- yeah, was fun while it lasted, but isn't where I want to (or need to) be anymore. xoxo

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  2. What an awesome story! I have never wanted to do it for a living, but I havve always wondered what It would be like if i was brave enough to do it just once...Im a mom now and the opportunity has past, but I applaud you bravery!

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  3. shake your groove thang, shake your groove thang, yeah, yeah!

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  4. My panties are officially unwadded! thank you for sharing ;)I think we all take small walks on the "wild side" at some point in life...even if only for a moment.

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  5. I must admit, I had to cozy up with a beer and some corn nuts for this one! Oh...the crazy shit we get up to in our early 20s...

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  6. I used to go to the strip clubs with my hubby..he loved it. Many of the girls would sit at our table and talk to us on their breaks and we became regulars. I have never looked down on any woman who danced. I would love to be built like many of them... You go girl..

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  7. I think I'd totally do it if I were built for it! Or perhaps some nude modeling... it would pay a whole lot more than my social services job! HA!

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  8. I danced from the time I was 19 until I was 24. Loved the money. Loved the power. Then I started in my relationship with The Man, and just didn't feel right doing it anymore. [Even though we actually met in the club I worked at *while* I was working. Now, though, I have a spinning pole in my living room, and still love to climb and spin on that bitch!!

    ~Jenn http://justjen68.blogspot.com

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  9. Real nice post-thanks for humanizing strippers (as sappy as that sounds. And it does sound sappy).
    I used to go to "gentleman clubs" (my brothers and I called them "Boobie Bars") quite a bit (I WAS a sailor, after all). Never by myself (oh, how creepy would that be?). I enjoyed them, but then I started to feel bad about it because I was "objectifying" (I'm not even sure that's a real word) people who are real people (hmm, does that statement even make sense?). On the other hand, many of these girls are dancing because it pays well. So, if I don't go, then I'm taking money out of their thongs (no pockets in those things). A conundrum, a puzzler, a stumper...you get the idea.
    That said, I'm positive I'll end up going to one of them again. After all, my brother turns 50 this summer and we're taking him out partying.
    But, I'll sit in the back and NOT request an AARP discount.

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  10. hooooo...that's a good story. I wonder if any of Paige's relatives ever knew about this???

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  11. Oh. My. Goodness. I wish I had a little "Paige" in me.

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  12. Fascinating tale! Clever and brave to walk away sooner rather than later ;-)

    xx Jazzy

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  13. I'm loving this story. It's crazy how quickly the lifestyle can turn a person but it makes so much sense. Your story is sexy and completely real. Love.

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  14. Great story, real and raw. I can imagine how awesome it felt to let go once you became more comfortable. Right on girl!

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  15. fascinating story. thanks for giving all of us good girls who sometimes like to do bad things a peek behind the curtain of stripping. ;-)

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  16. Great story, amazing that you had the maturity to look at it for what it was a great way to get some fast bucks. I think I would of caved at the first hurdle so kudos to you for turning it around and I love the advice re: gloves and pole - even handy advice for anyone wanting to try it at home :D

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