Tale of a Stripper (Part 2)

So, without further adieu, here's part deux...    

I can still feel the trembling in my knees, just remembering that night. I had to walk down some steps onto the stage in super high heels that weren't even mine and into the spot light where about 6 men sat quietly at tables in the darkened room. There were several other girls sitting around or gyrating on various customers, but for the most part, it was quiet and terrifying. My heart was pounding and I wanted to throw up. I was completely sober, it was about 4 in the afternoon and I was about to take my top off for a room of strangers. I somehow managed to jiggle and wiggle around the stage for the duration of the song, but I'm sure it was horrible because I was so scared and shaky and I could feel my knees wanting to buckle the whole time.

I was pretty sure the manager would ask me to give back the dress and shoes and send me on my idiotic way. But to my shock and dismay, he hired me & told me that I could start the next night. Holy Shit! I didn't even want to do it anymore, I just wanted to go home and try to find my dignity and self-respect, take a shower and put on my fuzzy jammies.

But I didn't do any of those things. I went to the stripper store and bought myself some slutty dresses and fancy thongs and went back the next night, determined to overcome my fear. I came up with a fake name for myself and created a new identity. Each time I went on stage, I was a little bit less horrified by myself. A little more comfortable when the dress came off. Having a little bit more fun. I started to enjoy the sense of power that I had over the men in the club as I looked out and into their eyes and saw that I was their fantasy. I never let them touch me and yet they gave me their paychecks. They would whisper in my ear that they would go home that night & fuck their wife and be thinking of me while they did it.

I made $1000 my first weekend.

I worked 3 nights and came home with the same amount of money that I'd make in a month at my day job. I only worked for that month between interview and vacation because after that I didn't need the big cash flow anymore. It was tempting to stick with it because there were some great things about it, but I realized how easy it would be to get sucked into the whole life. I'd get accustomed to living a lifestyle that I couldn't afford while working an honest and honorable job. I could feel myself starting to despise men and see them only as pawns to be manipulated.

I knew that eventually I wanted to get married and have kids, but what kind of decent man would want a girl who was a stripper. I recognized that I needed to get out before it became my identity. It's fun to look back on that period of time and the things I saw and experienced while I was working there, but it has nothing to do with my life any more. I'm married to a wonderful man and have been for many years now. He knows about my little dip into depravity and he doesn't hold it against me. I'm thankful for the little snip of wisdom that I possessed at the young age of 21 to be able to walk away before any real harm was done.

And one valuable lesson I learned during that crazy month - never swing on a pole with gloves on. You will fall on your ass and look anything but sexy.