The Lion, the Bitch and the Whore Code

The second substantial “non-sexual” crush I had on another girl was in University. (The first being this girl.) When I met her, she was so cool that it intimidated me a little. She was very out-spoken, didn’t take shit from anyone and (until me, of course) everyone knew where they stood with her. She had a lot more balls than I did. Appearance-wise, she was also so funky in my books; slightly bohemian but still stylish and artsy – how I wished I could dress if I could have ever found those clothes in my size. She had dreaded her hair, but it was only just below her shoulders, so they kind of puffed out a little like a lion’s mane. Her face was narrow and pretty, so it didn’t deter from her appeal; she was a sexy lion.

When she asked me to live with her in my 3rd year, needless to say, I was so excited. It was like I was going to be living with the embodiment of my alter-ego.

The first few months were fantastic. Myself, her, and 2 others lived in a townhouse. One was a wild card and a little distant, but the 3 of us were like a Whore-tastic Sorority and we were having the best time. We ate, partied and at tougher times, counselled each other. It was the first time I was living with other women and it was actually going well…

Ah crap… I spoke too soon.

I don’t know what happened, or why this girl who supposedly never bottled up anything, decided to HATE me. I couldn’t figure out what I had done. Did I say something bitchy? Not usually. Maybe she mistook something I said about her art; she wasn’t great at accepting criticism, even constructive. Someone offered the suggestion that she was pissed off that I was moving to Australia, but her behaviour was a bit extreme for that to be the reason. Still to this day, I have no idea why she went psycho on me. I tried to ask the 3rd girl in our once-blissful-trio but she didn’t want to get involved. That bitch was like fucking Switzerland throughout the entire war, and frankly, that hurt too. The Lion was clearly being publicly cruel to me and the Bitch never once stood up for me.

Finally, it was time to move out, thank Christ! I was having a going away pub night and that is when she decided to drive one last knife into my back before I left; she was going to throw a party on the same night, and her parties were legendary. Are we in fucking kindergarten? Seriously! Thankfully, the 4th roommate refused to agree to the plot, and since it was a campus residence, all tenants had to sign off on proposed parties. He had called me and told me; it was gross and as he told me, my stomach ached with anger and heart-break.

Even then, I never had enough kahones to confront her – in person anyway – but I finally told her off in an email. I know she got it because she wanted Switzerland to read it, but in true neutrality, she declined. I always thought that there was some kind of unwritten code amongst kindred spirits about sticking together and being there for each other. In our case, it would have been more like a Whore Code, but I actually like the sound of that – if it had meant anything, anyway.

While I was away, the girl that replaced me ended up TERRORISING HER ten-fold to what she did to me, apparently reducing her to tears on a daily basis; she even started to lose her hair because of the stress.

Oh, here’s me shedding a big fat tear while slurping a cup full of hot irony with whipped karma on top. Mmmmmm, that went down nice and smooth!