I thought I'd mix things up today and write one of my sexual misadventures as if I were a 16 year old... in today's world. Enjoy!
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OMG! You will never guess what happened to me last night! Greg and I were getting hammered in his parent's basement and he was like, "I've had a thing for you for ages!"
I was was like, "Really? That's totally LOL cuz I think you're well fit."
And he was like, "Well, you're single right?"
And I was like, "Yeah."
And he was like, "So am I."
And I was like, "I know!"
And he was like, "Wanna hook up?"
And I was like, "OK."
And then he came closer to me on the couch and started kissing my neck. I straddled on top of him and he totally started to feel me up and he was like, "Whoa!"
And I was like, "Thanks."
And then he was like, "I want you so bad!"
And then I was like, "Uh huh."
We undressed each other and it was getting totally hot. We rolled on to the floor and I was like, "You got one?"
And he was like, "Yeah."
And I was like, "Cool."
And he put it on and we started goin' at it.
He was like, "Uhhhh!"
And I was like, "Ohhhhh!"
And then he was like, "Aggghhhh."
And then he stopped...
and I was like, "WTF?"
I think I just lolz'd all over myself.
ReplyDeleteNice! Thanks for giving me the giggles :)
ReplyDeleteLOL!
ReplyDelete(Pssst... I think you're well fit, too) (whatever that means)
ah, those 2 minute men. losing it before you even get close to it.
ReplyDeletepsssst, i don't know what well fit means either. is it fancy canadian speak?
Footnote: "I think you're well fit" or "He's well fit, yeah." are phrases that annoyed the fuck out of me when I lived in the UK, so I had to throw one in for good measure :)
ReplyDeleteoh the memories! or should I say OH the memories.. I'm so sorry, I was young!
ReplyDeleteA
Did we screw the same boy?
ReplyDeleteOoooh, don't even want to go there...this was great! Brought back some thoughts I probably shouldn't be thinking...to be young again...NOT! I'll stay where I'm at and continue reading:)
ReplyDeleteToo funny!
ReplyDelete@Mary I know what you mean. Whenever the question comes up about the idea of having sex with an 18yr old or a 40 yr old, I think... humm... 18 yr olds have NO idea what they're doing - I'll take the 40 yr old, thanks. HAHAHA
ReplyDeleteha ha I actually read this in a different accent! like wtf??!! x
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha ha!!!!
ReplyDeletei love it when you mix it up - it's hilarious although I can't escape the 'well fit' phrase - Samuel is 11 and he's been saying it, I'm away from home - I come for solace and it's here - arghghhhh running for the hills LOL
ReplyDeleteOMG!! that totally happened to me!! he ran to the bathroom and didn't come out for like 20 minutes! LOL...
ReplyDeletelmfao there's nothing like a two pump chump story to make my day better!
ReplyDeleteU crack me up!
ReplyDeleteTWO MINUTES!!??
ReplyDeleteMarathon men show-offs!
that his hilarious - your using the modern TXT lingo to tell your story. a guy cumming so quick? that's never a laughing matter. ;-)
ReplyDeletetwo pump chump? LOLOLOLOL.
ReplyDeleteYou realise that he found the "got one" in your bathroom bin and just turned it inside out....
ReplyDeleteYou just had sex like with your dad or possibly your brother…..
See you are not the only one who can think like a 10 year old…Ooops, sorry I think I might have gone back too far….
Just pass me my skateboard and teeth braces and I’m out of hear...
I did wonder if Canadian's used the expression 'well fit'. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna have to ask for my fiancee back now hahaha so kidding
ReplyDeleteI felt like I was listing to my 19 year old daughter talking to her friend. You hit it onthe nail GF, OMG, Like wow
ReplyDeleteJessica
oh emmmm efff geeeeee!!!!
ReplyDeletePerfection!...and scary. I happen to have one of those, the male species, and I just hate visualizing what is clearly the most detailed teen scenario ever.
ReplyDeleteHaha! "Well Fit". Jeez, I've not heard that term for ages - thank feck! I just read this in an awful UK West Country accent a bit like this:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgs50pqM4W0
*shudder*
@SAHMlovingit LOL. Yeah. Consider yourself lucky that you haven't heard it - it's still going strong!
ReplyDelete@VBCatalunya My accent is Canadian-Scottish-Australian. It's a messy freak of nature.
Happy giggling here over my second sup of Saturday coffee.
ReplyDeleteYou nailed this.
Oops.
That's inappropriate.
But still . . . you totally did.
Nailed it.
LOL'd so hard I think I peed!
ReplyDelete