Heavy Heart

I was going to write about how I think I did okay at my Dragon's Den audition,
but I'm not going to be holding my breath for a phone call.

Then I was going to write about how this weather is really starting to make me crazy . . .

But since I will be off to Florida in a couple days, I was going to write about how I have to suck it up.

And then I got a phone call.

Thee phone call.

Anna passed away.

And everything else seems frivolous.

I will be missing the visitation and the funeral, and I feel ill about it.

But I will be there for them every day after.

If those 3 beautiful children need anything that I could possibly provide, I'll be there.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Why I don't have a New Year's list

Happy New Year, everyone!!

So far, I've already learned something useless — and I thrive on useless information — which is that 2013 is the first year since 1987 in which all 4 digits are different. Huh.

I'll let you chew on that for a while . . .

OK. So, I haven't had much time to sit down and itemize all my deep and meaningful quandaries about life and love from the past year, but I have some perfectly valid reasons:

1. Hubs has been home for the duration of these holidays and he has this "thing" about me constantly being on technology (or making crafts, or anything that doesn't directly affect him in a positive way) whilst he's home. Seriously. We've got the next 50 years to get sick of each other, just let me play with my shit, mmmk? Ugh.

2. Holidays mean food. Food is distracting.

3. Holidays mean extended family. Extended family is annoying.

4. After nearly 2 months of the family being an astonishingly bright beacon of health, all hell broke loose. Sick children are fucking disgusting.

5. I've been going after jobs like a bull after a matador's ass. Customizing my awesomeness for each individual position is exhausting.

6. I painted THREE rooms in my house over the holidays. We moved into this entirely white house in December of 2010 and I'd been using the whole "but I'm working all the time" excuse not to paint. Well, I thought I'd call myself out on that bullshit. Since I'm not working, I finally wanted something DONE around the house. I'm most proud of this accent wall. I made these window edges my bitches, y'all!

7. And finally, I got a Wacom drawing tablet for Christmas. Soon, I hope to draw some more, well, productive drawings, but for right now, I've been busy testing out the easy subjects — getting a real feel for the hardware, ya know . . .

And I know you're all wondering with bated breath, so I'll just put it out there once and for all . . .
Yes, I do commissions.

Ahem.

The Quick & the Dread

A BlogHer '12 Experience

It was an early Friday morning and since I had not been partying the night before, I was there really early. This turned out to be a blessing, since one of the only people there earlier than me was Alexandra. It was calm and lovely and exactly how I prefer to talk with people - especially a person I admire just so damn much. Breakfast was relatively civilized and divine, while also meeting A Lady in France, Marinka, Two Busy, Avitable, Suniverse, Buried With Kids and many others.

Then, the chaos happened. In my brain.

Very quickly, thousands of women began filtering into the conference hall and my brain began to short circuit. I don't know if it was my ADD shifting into super-sonic bat crap crazy mode, but I was hearing every single conversational humm, squeal and laugh. I was on over-stimulation meltdown.

I found myself wandering around looking for people for a big chunk of the time. Because I was only there for the one day, I really wanted to meet everyone that I have grown to love so much, whether through this blog and/or The Twitter. Perhaps I tried too hard to achieve my goal, but I'm a gawd damn over-achiever, so because of that, I felt quite rushed and anxious for a big part of the day. Crap.

If I introduced myself by my alias, people would ask me, "Ahh, but what's your REAL name?" Then, if I introduced myself by my real name, people would ask, "Huh?" So that was an interesting social experiment. Lady Estrogen won out, for sure :)

And there was lunch. 

Saying that lunch was impressive would be an understatement, since The Next Martha totally went above and beyond with an amazing centerpiece. She over-achieved the FUCK outta me! Ever the gracious hostess, darling. Apart from that, I also got to briefly chat with Ooph, The Bitchin Wife, Ann Imig and Toy With Me (among others). Seriously, it's mostly a blur. I'm impressed that I have managed to remember this many people so far! Oooh, yeah... and Martha Stewart was FABULOUS. She really does have her perfectly groomed fingers into absolutely everything! I bow to her greatness.

Ahhh, yes. My special packages. After totally FREAKING out in New Jersey while I was stranded at a train station in 102 degree weather with 50 Lady Godiva chocolates in my suitcase, they miraculously all made it to BlogHer. I was so excited to give these to the wonderful ladies that I had met - it was the LEAST I could do to show my admiration to each and every one of you! I swear to god that I didn't have them with me when I saw Adam Avitable, so suck it! But I did have them when I got to ambush meet The Bearded Iris.

The "Sessions" were OK and although the premise behind them was great, the whole "Wait, you didn't sign up on this sheet first?" chaos was a bit intense. And it wasn't just me - there were a whole lotta newbie chickens bobbing around the corridors mumbling, "What the fuck's going on?" which was hilarious to watch and admittedly be a part of. Then I ditched and hung out with Suniverse, checked out some panels and we brought on the bitch, together. Wurd.

Then there were drinks.

Another personal highlight was just hanging out with The Animated Woman and chatting with booze being imbibed. Apart from gaining a true "IRL" friend, I also got this... which is by far the best swag I received:

My arms have never looked better! Snort. What is that I'm holding? That is the Trojan Pulse, which they were handing out like candy. Speaking of candy, did I mention MY package also had that too, because I'm a fucking marketing whore-slash-genius. Suck on THAT, Trojan!

I tried to stay for Listen to Your Mother "Open Mic" for a little while. After FINALLY meeting two of my heroes, Mama Kat and Scary Mommy, I couldn't stay much longer. There was no gong OR giant cane dragging people off stage if they went way (way, way) over their allotted 5 minutes. What the shit?! I wanted a gong; it needed a gong... at times.

And Sparklecorn happened.

Drinks being $13 a shot made having 8 drink tickets fan-fucking-tastic. Hello, New York City prices! The music was spot on - they soooo knew their target audience. It was like a high school dance party, but we didn't have to hid the alcohol in a flask down our pants. I finally got dance (to Vanilla Ice) with Mommy NaniBooboo. Whut, whut! And got some hugs from Michonblog, Tough Cookie Mom, The818, and Whatnowandwhy. And by 1 o'clock in the morning, I was spent!

To wrap this shit up -- 

All in all, it was a cool but busy time; I will indeed be going back next year. My main goal at BlogHer 2012 wasn't to get help with technical issues or re-fuel my blogging engines -- it was to meet people, but I ended up spending too much time trying to find them and not enough actually meeting them. I have posted the few photos I managed to get on my Facebook page. Check those out!

Because I was so fucking lost half the time, I still have 4 of my special packages left! It seems a shame to not give them away! If you were at BlogHer '12 and didn't manage to find me (or even if you weren't there and really want one), leave me a comment and we'll work something out.

5 Things for BlogHer 2013 in Chicago...

1. I will sit my fat ass at a centrally located numbered table and drink for 3 STRAIGHT HOURS. I so want to meet everyone, but I don't have it in me to play cat & mouse again next year -- it stressed me out beyond these words.

2. I will save up and go for the ENTIRE conference.

3. I WILL BE ON A PANEL. (Or at least, I will attempt to be more motivated to follow through with my application to be on a panel, now that I know what they're all about.)

4. Since it will not be my first one, I vow to be more relaxed, more happy-go-lucky... and probably much more intoxicated.

5. I will be designing a "Sausage Queen of Chicago" special edition Blogher'13 t-shirt, because HOLY SHIT, THAT'S SO DAMN HILARIOUSLY AWESOME.


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I'm going to shamelessly quote Avitable's blurb right now:
I know I left out a lot of people in this post, but that’s because of me, not you – don’t hesitate to chime in in the comments and give me hell for forgetting you!
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The lead up & the low down

A lot of shiznit has been going on around here, so I thought it was high time I quit avoiding and spill it.

First off, it's my birthday tomorrow. Fuck yeah, muthafuckers!! Unlike some people that hate their birthdays, I quite enjoy it.

Why?

Yes. That.

In honor of my birthday, I am giving myself a gift, a gift of time. Time off.

This is also in conjunction with the fact that I started therapy sessions, finally. And guess what one of the first things she said to me was? "I'm exhausted just listening to all the things you are doing. You need a break."

Well... doctor's orders then.

The launch of the Michelle Rumball video for Hangover Square is on Wednesday, and will be up for the remainder of the week. It's a pretty big fucking deal to me, so I will want to give it as much exposure as I can. I hope EVERYONE who's ever even sniffed around my blog to please watch the video! Let's get the views over 1000. YAY! It is based on my relationship with Jim and the fictional alternative ending that I wrote a while back. I scripted, directed and even did a tiny bit of shooting. Double yay!

The following week (January 30th), I have some kick ass posts lined up from some of my dearest hoes. Please visit and enjoy. I will be around, but just chilling a bit.

When I return on February 6th, I will be reducing my posting schedule to twice a week - Mondays and Thursdays. I love this blog and love all of you that honor me every time you visit... but I love my sanity too, and it's about time I focus on that for a while. I have some fabulous ideas brewing for the site this year, it will just roll out less often.

Please bear with me while I go hunting for my marbles.

I'll be wearing camouflage. Preferably pink.

Love you lots,

Lady E
xox