May 18, 2011

I'm a Software Girl

This is inspired by the last phone conversation I had with my dad, for over an hour last night - trying to set up my "new" laptop for work, which is actually a shit-box hand-me-down from one of the programmers. I feel like I'm using someone else's toothbrush and wearing their skid stained underwear and I don't know where anything is located, nor can I get anything to work. 
(If you know the song, this is adapted from the tune Oh Father, by Madonna)

Oh Father, I need you to help me
They switched my laptop upon me
Why can't I get on the net?

It's funny that way, just copy the settings
from your other computer
What a brilliant idea
I should have thought that myself.

You should know this by now
I don't care for this stuff, I never thought I would
This is making me cry; why won't it connect?
I really wish you were here!

It was just yesterday
My old one was working and nothing was wrong
Oh, the anger I feel
Oh Father, I'm losing my shit.

Maybe someday
When I look back I'll be able to say
Just look in the advanced properties
Change the configuration.

Oh Father, you might have to come over
Wait! It's working; what did we do?
I don't know but I'm online.

You have helped me out
I rocked this shit, I never thought I would
I won't have to cry, it once had the power
I never felt so good about myself.

Mama's Losin' It


  1. I can sing a wicked harmony to this it!


  2. Great! Now I'll be singing this all night... ;->

  3. I imagine this post would be better for me if I actually could remember that song right now... But I'm drawing a blank.

  4. Do you think your Dad could help me work out my phone?

    Alternatively, to misquote Groucho Marks:

    "Why a four-year-old child could understand this 'phone'. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail out of it".

  5. @Heather
    Oh.. I worked so hard on it - I put the link to the song there, just in case!! LOL

    It's pure fucking poetry, I swear.

    A harmony would be flippin' fantastic!

  6. that's really weird...I was walking around my kitchen yesterday singing this song while I made a freaking casserole.

    Anyhoo...I can NOT deal with change/interruptions to my technology.

  7. Any song that starts with Oh father starts me humming Oh father hear my morning prayer...LOL!

  8. I had a used computer once. Too bad my hard drive was actually a floppy.

  9. @Al
    I like my men hard and my wares soft.

    I have a slight tendency to want to start the lord's prayer... but then my Madonna gear kicks in and it's all good.

    I agree. It was stressful - I didn't cope well.

  10. You're a literary genius. Thanks for putting the song in my head. Gah.

  11. This is great but I can't help but be insanely jealous that your dad can help you with the computer. My dad is lucky to be able to turn it on.

  12. @Jessica
    Yeah. He was a Systems Engineer for IBM, so I have an unfair advantage there - but that's the reason, growing up, I swore I'd never have anything to do with computers.... and here I am. At least I'm a software girl, hardware & networking means nothing to me.

  13. Today I had a perfect view through my office door out to someone else's desk where the tech department was trying to replace her computer. After lots of stomping and cursing and phone calling and "hands up in the air-ing", they finally just put her old one back on her desk. At least it was working.

  14. Woo Hoo!

    Visiting from Mama Kat's!

  15. You are a poetic genius.
    LOVE IT!

  16. Quite impressive that you were able to put these feelings in a poem! Were you wearing black when you wrote it?

  17. @Funkidivagirl
    Surprisingly no; I was wearing Ghostbuster flannel jammies.

  18. I love that song and now I can't stop singing, it sure beats the hell out of that black n yellow song that Samuel won't stop singing and I couldn't get out of my head for a week - oh crap it's back.


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