This post is like spotting a unicorn; it's rare, exciting and you're not quite sure whether or not it's real or an hallucination! Oh, it's real, people! Please sit back and enjoy reading a little more about me - the woman behind all this madness, according to my 'ever suffering' husband:
1. Lady Estrogen has good ideas – her brain is going non-stop.
She has about 200 projects on the go right now. When are these projects going to be finished? Who knows, I’m pretty sure that LE doesn’t even know. I saw a good quote the other day on a billboard outside a church/community centre that was totally directed at LE – “Life should be like a postage stamp, stick to one thing until it has reached its destination.” Unfortunately, it would probably lead to another half-started project if she saw it.
2. She is addicted to shopping.
There isn’t a day that goes by with her nose in a catalogue or surfing online. Infomercials were created with her specifically in mind. I am very thankful that she doesn’t watch The Shopping Channel. She has an uncanny ability to burn through money in my pockets.
3. She is absolutely useless with directions.
She can live in the same town/city for years and still not know the street names she drives on or how to get anywhere. She needs a GPS unit just to go to the grocery store (you would think going the first time would be enough to remember how to get there).** Apparently she travelled all around Australia for an entire year before we met and didn’t get lost. To this day, I still can’t figure that one out.
4. She likes to talk – a lot.
I am pretty certain that Lady Estrogen really likes the sound of her own voice. So much in fact, she will hold entire conversations with me even though I am not in the same room. She even has the nerve to get mad at me when I don’t reply. Sorry Honey, but I am not Superman, I can’t hear you through walls! Even if I did reply, she probably wouldn’t listen. This leads onto the next point…
5. She is not a good listener.
She says she listens to me, but truth be told, she doesn’t. She has very selective hearing when it comes to anything I have to say. Even when she asks for my opinion, she won’t listen (I have actual proof of this).
6. She thinks she is smart.
Quoting an obscure movie line by line doesn't make you smart! Reciting Pi to the 100th digit is smart. Brain surgery is smart. Forecasting future traffic volumes and how they will impact the road network is smart*** – Reciting Ferris Bueller’s Day Off every time it's on TV is just plain annoying.
I am living with Lady Estrogen in Lady Estrogen’s world. This world is not the world that the rest of us live in. It is a world where she is King, Queen, President, and Prime Minister. If you are not apart of it, then hold on tight – it’s a very bumpy ride. Surprisingly, it's one ride that I am very happy (and lucky) to be on.
* Jokes on you, hun - 6 is fine. If it was 5 or 7, that would have pissed me off.
** Just because I don't care to know the name of the street doesn't mean I don't know where the grocery store is, sheesh!
*** Forecasting future traffic volumes? That's what HE does - so he's basically saying that HE is smart and I am not. For the record, we had our I.Q.'s tested years ago and he's never gotten over the fact that I scored higher... on two separate tests.
Love you, babe! Thank you!