Apr 2, 2012

Welcome to the Dick Sisterhood

So, it has finally happened, and not from any actions on my part, which is probably the most shocking detail.

I now have a dick sister.

What's a dick sister, you ask? Well, just in case you didn't know, the Urban Dictionary defines it as such:
"A combination of women who have had sex with the same man."

Well, that about sums it all up.

It's a strange feeling for me and I wasn't sure how to take the news at first. I was a firm believer in the whole 'don't crap where you eat' life motto and I rarely dated slept with guys from my own social circles.

I also enjoyed the encouraging phrase of 'there's plenty of fish in the sea' so I wasn't really a fan of sharing the same sea cucumbers with my friends - so to speak.

Eww. Soggy.

It even bothered me when I would be in situations where friends of mine would cycle through boyfriends between each other. They seemed OK with it, but I would put on a fake smile and be screaming on the inside, "HOW CAN YOU MAKE OUT WITH HIM KNOWING THAT HIS TONGUE HAS BEEN UP YOUR BEST FRIEND'S TWAT?!" Gahhh! It irked me to great lengths.

Even in University, when my personal skank factor was upped a notch or three, I still managed to escape forming any dick sisterhood relationships (I shall let some brief oral encounters slide on this one, mmmk? AHEM)... until now.

A whole decade later! One of my best friends did the down and dirty with one of my long-since-passed "he is the one" ones...

But it wasn't him.
Or him.
Or even him.

So it wasn't completely gut-wrenchingly awful news, however, even after all these years, it still did feel like someone had just kicked me in the ovaries when she told me. All the hairs on the back of my neck stabbed me repeatedly, attempting to paralyze my legs by severing my spinal column. Mentally, I was better than I expected, I mean, after all, it was a long time ago. But my physical response to the news just solidified what I have known all along, and that was that I was strictly a fresh cock kinda gal.

Fuck recycling.

I'm fairly certain it was a fling of convenience, considering they are both single and free to be with whomever they please, but in the EXTREME unlikelihood that they got married, I'd be sitting in the crowd (or better yet, in the bridal party) and as they exchanged their "I dos" I would be thinking, "Hey! I know what he sounds like when he cums." I mean... Congratulations you two!

I feel like there's some sort of induction ceremony or initiation that needs to be performed. I didn't know what to do since this is all new to me.

I sent her an edible arrangement and paid $5 more for some extra bananas...



  1. I totally know what you mean! Even tho years pass it still feels like sharing doesn't it?? I'm friends with my ex's ex wives - yes plural - and it's so weird that all of us have heard, tasted, witnessed all of the same shit.. Pretty freaky actually.. Eww.. Why am I friends with these people???

    Great post. I'm gonna' go get some people off fb now.

  2. I've heard it said that sharing is caring.

  3. lmao so there is a term for it!? love the post. I didn't realize there was an official name for the sharing of a man, even if it was without prior knowledge. My friends and I have always been really careful to avoid things like that...but it was happened of course. Maybe I should have a t-shirt made up for the ladies. :) lol.

  4. Its like the female version of Weenie Brothers. Its a bond that can never be broken.

  5. I hope they get married because I totally want you to say that line up there ;)

  6. Oh god Oh god Oh god

    that's just...

    Oh god


  7. @Reallyoutthere

    Yeah, totally eww. lol


    I don't tend to care THAT MUCH.


    You KNOW I'll make a t-shirt now, right?

  8. Yeah, I've been there....awkward doesn't even come close to describing it! Needless to say, I do not remain friends with any "dick sisters". It's just too...gross!

  9. I wonder what my group of dick sisters would say about me?

    Or do I want to know??

  10. @Brandon

    By using the word "group", you would need to have more than two. Just saying ;9

  11. yikes, I think you and I are on the same page here. I am strictly fresh-cock minded myself...

  12. I've only had that happen twice - and it was weird both times. To me. Wait - it was the same person who did it.


  13. Ha! When I hear 'fresh cock', I think wrapped in cellophane in the produce department. This is where I find it, right? Next to the sea cucumbers?

  14. HA! I was thinking in the frozen foods dept....to keep em extra "stiffy"

  15. Hum, what if you are no longer friends and never particularly considered the other female a friend but still spent time socially with her . . . not the same right?! Please?! Because let us all take a moment and remember that my ex-husband married the ex-wife of my now husband.

  16. @Foxy

    Rrrrrrrrrrright. That is soooo Young & the Restless! lol
    OK, that's a whole different level of dick sisters, like, the champagne and caviar version.
    No one said you had to like your sister.
    Sorry ;0

  17. LMAO. Love this. I know I am supposed to love this. But, I love this.

  18. One of my old friends married a guy that I had slept with first.
    I felt terrible for her.
    Seriously... terrible.
    It was awful.

  19. This is hilarious. I never knew what it was called for women who shared a partner. It would be weird to me to be in the same circle as a guy who slept with someone I was dating. I guess as long as I was first, then it wouldn't seem as awkward.

    Does that make me selfish?

  20. @Q

    I don't think that makes you selfish at all - you just don't like sloppy seconds and that's a personal choice ;)

  21. Yeah... that's why I never dated guys from my home town. Although it probably would have been kind of funny to swap stories... as long as I was the first one.


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