Apr 30, 2012

Phalli for everyone!

I was minding my own business, partaking in my latest addiction which is the Etsy phenomenon, (I know Brandon feels my pain on this front.) when I came across this necklace. It's made of two of my favorite materials - Sterling silver and coral - but this one? This one just didn't look quite right...


I couldn't see myself wearing an infected, detached penis around my neck, even if it was hand-crafted and hypo-allergenic (although I might argue that last feature). I would hypothesize that the jeweler was perhaps oblivious to its rather obvious phallic reference, but it got me thinking:

HOW ELSE CAN I WASTE MORE TIME AND SEE WHAT ELSE IS ON ETSY THAT CATERS TO THE MALE'S MIGHTY SWORD? 

Oh! Here we go! I whittled it down into a super classy top ten for everyone. 

You're most welcome.

9. Penis pouch:


8. Crocheted Willypillies:


7. Penis soap:


6. Tiny Penis Bottle:
I had to include the listing info for this one...

"It's just a little prick."

5. Flying Penis:


4. Genital Earrings:


3. The Lovers:


2. Cunt necklace:
OK. So there is no phallus in this, but I loved the description so much...
It may be a bit on the bliggin' ghetto side, but it's kinda me... RIGHT?


But thee best - the one that stole my heart...
1. Black penis ring:


I cannot WAIT until hubs comes home and sees a black cock in me on me.

Totally.

13 comments:

  1. If I bought The Mrs. soap like that, she'd be the cleanest person on my block. I bet she would stay in the shower.

    The penis pouch is very disturbing. Then again, all of these are pretty disturbing, especially the coochie earrings. LOL!

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  2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Time to do some Christmas shopping!!!! :D

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  3. I have to admit, the 'coral' kind of looks like... um...

    Well, moving on. Interesting necklace.

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  4. Are you kidding me!? Why have I never been on etsy before? That penis pouch cracked me the hell up! You are right though...that pearl on the cold penis is just NOT right...on the other hand that was a beautiful vagina that went along with it.

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  5. @AccordingtoJewels

    Yes, I agree. The matching vajayjay IS really nice! lol

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  6. Why the hell not? lol. The one with the pearl is hilarious!

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  7. The pearl is perfect. As for the bottle, there are those romantics that like to carry around some of their lover's 'essence': bodily fluids incorporated into a piece of jewellery.
    Of course it must be for that...

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  8. I kinda like the pink pillow.....snuggly!

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  9. I have no words....just endless laughter. However...the penis with the pearl would be much improved with more than one pearl.lol!

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  10. Oh the genital earring set is horrific!!

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  11. @PishPosh

    I know, right? Why is that vag so very red? It's disgusting! lol

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  12. Why a flying penis? I don't understand! They aren't magical and they don't hold unicorn power.
    Misleading if you ask me.

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