Phalli for everyone!

I was minding my own business, partaking in my latest addiction which is the Etsy phenomenon, (I know Brandon feels my pain on this front.) when I came across this necklace. It's made of two of my favorite materials - Sterling silver and coral - but this one? This one just didn't look quite right...

I couldn't see myself wearing an infected, detached penis around my neck, even if it was hand-crafted and hypo-allergenic (although I might argue that last feature). I would hypothesize that the jeweler was perhaps oblivious to its rather obvious phallic reference, but it got me thinking:

HOW ELSE CAN I WASTE MORE TIME AND SEE WHAT ELSE IS ON ETSY THAT CATERS TO THE MALE'S MIGHTY SWORD? 

Oh! Here we go! I whittled it down into a super classy top ten for everyone. 

You're most welcome.

9. Penis pouch:

8. Crocheted Willypillies:

7. Penis soap:

6. Tiny Penis Bottle:

I had to include the listing info for this one...

"It's just a little prick."

5. Flying Penis:

4. Genital Earrings:

3. The Lovers:

2. Cunt necklace:

OK. So there is no phallus in this, but I loved the description so much...

It may be a bit on the bliggin' ghetto side, but it's kinda me... RIGHT?

But thee best - the one that stole my heart...

1. Black penis ring:

I cannot WAIT until hubs comes home and sees a black cock in me on me.

Totally.