How Good Intentions Can Blow Up in Your Face
I had a strange relationship with a particular guy through the majority of high school. We never actually dated, or even kissed, but there was always an unsaid tension between us and whenever I started dating someone else, he usually had a snooty fit with me for a week or two. I think it was the classic symptom of him not wanting me, but didn’t want anyone else to have me either - a male trait that is fairly common.
I always felt like I was probably the only person in the school that understood him and valued him as a friend. His male ‘friends’ (I used that term loosely) didn’t really care about him. He wasn’t out-going enough so he usually got ignored and forgotten when it came time for after school socializing and other events; he was never invited to the big parties. Most of them were certified, card-carrying members of the jock asshole club, and for one reason or another, he wanted so badly to be a part of them – he was like their neglected puppy dog that followed them around. He was slightly awkward but sweet, humble and kind – all opposing qualities from those guys he considered his buddies.
I watched this cringe-worthy dynamic all though the years and it only got worse the older we got... and soon it was time for my friend to have his big 19th birthday. I knew I wanted to do something extra special for him – I don’t think he had anything special done for him by anyone else, ever – besides his own family, anyway. Every year, from grade 9 to grade 12, I had baked him a cake for his birthday and put it in his locker – but for his big ‘One-Nine’ I wanted to do more.
I printed up a classy invite for the dinner portion and even his mother and younger sister was in on my scheme. I was actually very close with the sister as well – I considered her my adopted sister. They were very appreciative of my plan for him and agreed that he needed someone do this for him – and I was more than happy to do it.
As much as I despised the jock jerks, they also agreed to the plan – all they had to do was keep their mouths shut and show up to the club. I thought it would be easy, since they ignored him anyway and would probably have ended up at the club regardless – so I wasn’t asking for the moon.
Then his birthday arrived. After 5 years of being neglected, he finally had had enough and gave in to his insecurities. He pestered the jocks all morning about what plans they had that night and then one guy (my least favourite one, of course) caved to the pressure and leaked the plan to him.
Now, what do you think he ‘should’ have done?
Been touched by the plan and gone along with it... right?
He found me at lunch and told me that since he knew the plan, he was just going to go straight out with the guys and NOT have dinner with me. That was the fucking ‘thanks’ I got – not even for just that day, but also for everyday for the 5 years prior to that moment. I felt like he just spat in my face; I was crushed.
After school, I even got a phone call from his little sister. She was angry with ME and told me that I was making HIM feel bad;
I was ruining his birthday. Are you fucking kidding me?
That effectively ended the relationship with my ‘adopted sister’ as well.
I ended up going with a friend to the club anyway; I probably shouldn't have – but I was pissed off AND heart-broken – not a good combination for me to deal with. I ended up getting drunk and having a great time making out with a hot older guy on the dance floor (that had previously attended our school, so everyone knew him) for the majority of the night. It wasn’t me at one of my most admirable moments, I know that, but I’d like to think that it annoyed the fuck out of my 'friend' (he hated seeing me with other guys, remember). I don’t care what anyone says about "rising above", sometimes revenge feels fantastic!
The funniest part was that about 6 years later, I saw his mother at the local shops and this woman (whom for a long time considered me her ‘eldest daughter’ and I didn’t even have to knock to enter their home) scrunched up her sour face and gave me the-dirtiest-look-ever! Seriously? Wow.