Jan 21, 2011

We'll always have the postbox

There were really 2 childhood sweethearts in my life – some would quickly say it was “typical” for me, but there were unique circumstances. As I have already mentioned Paul, which would be the first of the two, but our timeline was made up of isolated meetings that spanned over a decade. The more ‘traditional’ sense of the concept of a childhood sweetheart was with Kevin. Oh Kevin!

He was the only boy in the 3rd grade that weighed more than I did – although there was no way in hell anyone but me knew that factoid – and I don’t think that was why I took a shine to him, but it did help. He was slightly awkward and quiet but extremely intelligent and had a fantastically mature and dry sense of humour. I think I was one of the few kids that understood his quirkiness – and there were definitely no other girls that I had to compete with for his attention; most of the girls all liked Justin or Kyle – both of which were your typical good looking jock-asshole-in-training type of boys. These boys, of course, were also the 2 that would make fun of my weight whenever possible – those little fuckers. Yeah, the other girls could have them!

Kevin never said anything mean – to me or to anyone. He was genuinely a nice boy and I was hooked. By the 4th grade, we had become fairly close. Of course, my sexual feelings were far more advanced than what he was probably thinking, but that was OK with me. I had my little fantasy world to go home to, in which I would imagine taking things ‘further’ in my own way. In reality, I just really enjoyed spending time with him after school... almost every day. It was the best time of the day and I looked forward to it every afternoon and some days I wouldn’t get home until after 5 o’clock, welcomed by my unimpressed mother. I can’t remember what we managed to talk about for that long, but it was fantastic. 

No one else in our grade really socialized with members of the opposite sex – that were not related anyway – we were the only ones. Even though we never kissed or even held hands, we were the unofficial ‘couple’ in our class. If we ever had to do any boy-girl partner activities in class, it went without saying that we would be together. The other kids would joke about us and surprisingly, he didn’t care – and it didn’t deter him from continuing our after-school meetings by the postbox. 

It continued for another year – 3 years with the same crush when you are 11 is like an eternity! Most of my friends had cycled though at last 3 or 4 crushes by then, but I had remained faithful to my feelings for Kevin. Then, the unimaginable happened... our school was too small for the population and we would be getting a new school. We were being allocated according to where we lived, with the main street down the middle of our town acting as the dividing line. I lived on one side and Kevin lived on the other! I begged my parents to move. I was hysterical and angry at the thought that we would be split up. It would mean no more after-school time, ever.

So, the move inevitably happened and I was dragged kicking and screaming to the new school which was just horrible without Kevin; I was stuck with the jock-assholes-in-training instead. I was resigned to only seeing him at sporting events and Friday night skating, which even that was only in the winter, but I took what I could get. He usually played hockey before the free skate, so I would go early and sit with his father. For those 3 wonderful hours every Friday, I got to spend time with either him or his family – which was the same thing in my mind. 

Years went by and we went to different high schools as well. Our special ‘thing’ was pretty much a distant memory to most – although still to this day, I can recite his entire address, postal code and phone number. I would mail him a birthday card every year, no matter what.

We had 1 bizarre encounter in grade 12 when we were both incredibly intoxicated at a Christmas Hockey party that his team was hosting. Late in the night he found me, or rather, he practically fell on me and put his arm around me. With shamefully slurred speech he asked me, “So, why didn’t we ever fuck?” I just laughed and replied, “I don’t know, babe, we totally should have!” I doubt he remembers that gem of a moment ever happening, but it surely did.

He recently got married last summer and the funny thing is that although I am sort of happily married with 2 children, I found myself experiencing a tingle of jealously when I saw the wedding photos on facebook – no matter what, he will always be MY Kevin - and that skinny bitch totally stole him from me ;)


  1. Such a sweet yet sad story!

    Can't say I ended up with any crushes as good as this one. :)

  2. Wow, felt like I was there and saw the whole relationship happen. Great post. Bittersweet.


  3. Awwww! My first crush and I were separated when his mom got remarried and moved. We kept in touch for a couple of years, but then went our own ways during high school. 15 years later we reconnected while he was in town for a visit and we "hooked up" which was so strange and familiar with older selves! Many years later, I had very vivid dreams about him during my whole second pregnancy. Oh the guilt!

  4. @mom-mom-mom That's great - or not. lol. It's hard to let go - but I'm jealous you got to finally "hook up" with yours - I always wished I *at least* got 1 snog, but nope, nothin. ;)

  5. I am surprised you didn't jump him at the party.. LOL

  6. I have two boys from Kindergarten thru 5th grade that I was super close friends with. But friends in way different ways. Matt I was a playmate, bus buddy and best buds. Tim I was in LOVE with, he was the coolest!
    Today Matt is living in NYC with his gay partner! LOL....I never knew he was gay but I can see it now.
    And Tim was killed in a car accident shortly after graduating.
    Both are out of my life, but I'll always hold onto the memories.
    Amy's Life~

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  8. Hi!
    New follower...would love to have you follow back!

  9. I found you on the blog hop and now Im following you! Please check out my blog and follow me, http://toesthattwinkle.blogspot.com/ I also wanted to say how much I love your blog and reading the posts!

  10. You know, that was really a very wonderful post.
    Reaching back and finding that old feeling.

  11. How sweet. A friend once told me that her major regret in life was that she kept herself nice for far too long and slept with two few boys. I didn't get it then, but I do now. There are quite a few I would do if I could turn back time...)

  12. darn that skinny girl for taking him!!

  13. Found you on the Toes That Twinkle blog hop and glad I did... Following!

  14. Adorable blog! Following you from Say Hi Sunday! Would love for you to follow back @ http://thasuburbanhousewife.blogspot.com

  15. Well, that's just beautiful! (And hopefully the skinny bitch isn't reading right now!!!)

  16. Hahaha - @KD Nope, I know who she is, but she doesn't know me - I'm safe. lol.

  17. DOWN with the skinny bitch! LOL

    I grew up with a guy friend kinda/sorta like that too.

    I never looked at him in anything but a BFF light tho..Great post!

  18. I'm seeing a theme:

    "He was slightly awkward and quiet but extremely intelligent and had a fantastically mature and dry sense of humour."

    My theme would be:
    "slightly ugly but nice personality, bit of a mummy's boy and hypochondriac"

    You should so put these stories in a book :)


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