Second Place is Fucking Awesome

OK. It's a whole new fucking ballgame.
Heather, my love? There's a new sherrif in town.
I'm like a kid with a new toy.
It's a brand new day.
All that and a bag of chips.

OK, that's enough. I'm just a little excited, can you tell?

Here's the thing. Yes, women discuss masturbation, however, with the volume turned down low and hoping no one is listening too closely. When a woman says it loud and proud, there are always a few jaws that drop. Even with close friends, we never just causally weave into a conversation, "Wow, I totally got myself off last night; it was awesome." Of course not... until now.

I totally said that. And I'll say it again.

Why? Because all these years, when we were whispering to each other about female masturbation, we were asking the WRONG question. It shouldn't have been "Do you?" It should have been "Do you... finish?"

Because the answer for many would be a big fat "NO" including me. Sure, I had Mr. Purple for a few years and various toys and miniature baseball bats named Ricky before that, and although they were pleasurable, I never climaxed on my own. I could only orgasm with a man (or woman), how about 'person'. Yeah, I'll use 'person'. I would just play around until I had had enough and then I'd stop. This might also better explain my horrific 18 month dry spell I had last year. What a fucking catastrophe that was -- and would NEVER have had to have happened if I knew then what I know now.

If we had a nickel for every time we said that to ourselves, right? *Big sigh*

So, enough beating around the bush, so to speak. I got the aesthetically breath-taking nJoy Fun Wand a couple months ago; it had come highly recommended. It was definitely not the usual shape I would normally look for in a 'dildo-like' toy but I was willing to give it a whirl. Besides, what the fuck do I know?

It is designed for both ends to be used, and to be used for both ends. Ahem. Well, if you're a regular reader, you would know
I DO NOT DO THAT, but I thought I'd at least mention its possibilities.

I should add that I often add a motorized element (like a mini bullet) to speed up the external clitoral stimulation process - but I'm still working on my A game, adjusting and fine-tuning, if you will. This is made specifically for a G-spot simulator and the blend of the curved shape, the steel, and the contour bulbs is a fucking winning combination.

I actually scared myself the first time I climaxed with it. It was like, hang on, I know this feeling... what the heck is going on?
It's starting! Oh yeah, wow, uh huh, really? Yes, holy fuck. WHOA! YIPPIEE!

Now? I don't stop until I've had at least 2, but 4 on average. I've seen the light and I want to show this light to all my friends that are currently in the darkness.

Hubs glumly asked me if he was now redundant. Awe, of course not! (Although I think he was actually hoping for a 'yes' to that question.) At the end of the day, nothing tops the feeling of being with another person. The warmth, emotions and intimacy is irreplaceable, but by gawd, I've never been so fucking impressed with second place. It truly is a brand new day!

And in case you're wondering?
No, I don't leave the house much these days.


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This is not sponsored post, I just HAD to spread the love.