Jul 22, 2011

Unfastened Friday 2.0



Usually, the Unfastened Fridays will include 3 or more quick stories, but when Leighann from Multitasking Mumma sent me this, I knew it had to be all on its own! Not only is it a stand-alone kind of story, but she also is brave enough to take credit for it. I love your balls, babe; are they Adamantium by any chance?


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In the early days of our relationship Brian and I couldn’t keep our hands off each other and like all new couples we took every opportunity to get a little randy.  We weren’t living together at the time and were living two hours apart so this meant we spent a lot of time in the car and had to be creative or multitask (hellooo, its what I do). 

Not necessarily romantic, but we were just new and the very sight of him made me throw my shirt out the window.

NOTE: I do not condone driving while distracted, do not try this in your own car, however, if you do, please send your story to Lady E.

One evening, while driving together, the sexual heat became too much and  the windows started to fog with our hot breath as we searched for a place to pull over.

But then I suggested maybe we could keep driving?

Huh. Driving and intercourse?

Not happening.

But there are other ways to make a man hummmmm.

And because I’m skilled at the playing the skin flute the instrument was happy to participate.

Band practice was going well and I was thrilled when I heard “oh shit.”

That’s right! Oh Shit! I’m that good! 

My confidence was through the roof. Maybe I could pull off a little ride in the drivers seat!

He started thrusting like a wild bronco, making me think I might have to abort the mission. My humming skills could not withstand a jive like this! Was this a new move I wasn’t privy to? I was about to choke.

“NO! Get up!! Police!”

I sprung up, threw my head back so hard I hit it off of the passenger side window, and nearly knocked myself out. The pain was instant and through blurry vision I saw what appeared to be the flashing lights of a ride check coming up just seconds away.

Brian shuffled with his pants, I massaged my head.

“Good evening.” The light of the flashlight scanned the car and across Brian’s face.

“Evening.” Brian cleared his throat twice but it still crackled. My head ached and I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming but I was certain I had a concussion.

“Anything to drink tonight?” His flashlight concentrated on Brian’s face.

“Nope.” Why wasn’t anyone asking me if I needed medical attention?

“Why’s your face so red?”

Pardon?

“Huh?” Oh God I am dreaming.

“Your face. It’s bright red, like you’ve been jogging.”

Dear Lawd is that man seriously asking this question? I’ve hit my head too hard!! 

And then I hear the answer…

“Hmmmmmmmmm.”


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As I've mentioned, usually the UFF stories are shorter. If you have a little story (or one you think would fit a full post like show-off Leighann over here), then please send it to me here! It can be 100% anonymous if you like - just don't fill out the name & email field - it will STILL send if those aren't filled, yo!

19 comments:

  1. Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!

    Oh Leighann, you are such a gem. Love you. xo

    (How's YOUR head?)

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  2. lmao road head it's on my to do list but this and ending up crashing into a tree have kept me from doing so. That and I have no penis in my life dammit. Why the hell is it so hard to get laid? Sorry I'll stop pouting now carry on with your sex stories I'll just cry and be frustrated. Oh look a typical Friday for me le sigh

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  3. OH I am sooo glad we didn't get pulled over the night I did this for hubby on the interstate. He would drive 8 drop to 50 back up to 75 lmbo I was like for the love of God man pick a speed and hit cruise would ya

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  4. I just love this story, that particular act in the car is just so universal to new couples who are just so hot for each other.

    When my husband was a cop, he might have (if he pulled you over) been tempted to give you both his handcuffs to ummmh enhance your experience!!

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  5. DUDE... I do have balls o' steal!

    I have recovered nicely and now that the newness of the relationship has worn off there is no more of that craziness happening in the car. Just the wheels on the bus and the ABCs.

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  6. ALSO?

    Thanks for having me!

    I totally love your house. it's fun here.

    LETS GET NAKED!!!

    What?

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  7. I'm glad you're here too.

    What's that about being naked? It's not as pretty as it sounds, but I still like where you're going with that regardless. LOL

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  8. Maybe it was your head injury that saved you from wishing the seat would swallow you up? I know I would've died! Thinking back on some similar type stories of mine has me understandably laughing and cringing at the same time. =)

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  9. so great! very ballsy, I am a nervous type especially if a cop is waving his flashlight in my face, I couldn't keep a lid on that situation, the cop would have seen it all over my face :)

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  10. Paulette, Maybe I do still have a bit of a head injury all these years later because I "forget" that I used to do that sort of thing.
    Leigh Ann, He didn't fess up but his face told the whole story. The cop laughed and let us go.
    Todd, haha - "seen it all over my face" best line EVER.
    Jessica, thanks :)

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  11. great story you saucy minx! I'm no stranger to giving road head either. haha

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  12. You are a gem. A sprakly one.

    Love this, love you!

    XO

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  13. BAAAAAhahahahahahahaha So... did he get a ticket? And did you finish. We need to know the answers to these burning questions.

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  14. You are a right little minx, you. I have never had the guts to do this, but my husband would be thrilled. So, did you get a ticket? Did you make it up to him later?

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  15. You hurt your head giving head - genius :)

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