"Wow. That was really fucking stupid!"
And it's true; it was stupid. Really, really rieeeee-diculously idiotic.
And I cannot even blame adolescence on all the dumb things that I've done because age doesn't seem to be a consistent variable in these misdeeds. What the hell was wrong with me? The scariest part is that I got good grades in school, have a relatively high IQ, but that doesn't seem to matter in the slightest.
I present to you the Top 5 reasons why I am amazed I'm still alive and well - likely because if you reached high enough, you'd probably find a horseshoe up my ass. (Although, please use gloves! I have issues with that whole area. Yuck.)
1. Riding in the trunk/boot of a car with a friend because there wasn't enough room for everyone in the car. I know someone who did that and then the car was in an accident and made her a paraplegic. And yet, I still did it.
2. Buying street drugs off a pimp and his strung-out hoe in downtown Manhattan, outside of a nightclub. I know someone who got bad drugs from a stranger and it totally fried his brain, permanently. And yet, I still did it.
3. I wanted to have sex with a guy so badly that we did it without any protection. I know someone who contracted herpes the same night that she lost her virginity... with no protection. And yet, I still did it.
4. I get really drowsy behind the wheel; I am seemingly powerless against the urge to sleep. I have fallen asleep behind the wheel at least 3 times (that I can recall). I know of many people that have been in car accidents, some fatal. And yet, I still do it.
5. Smuggling illegal narcotics across the Canada/USA border. Do I really need an example for this one? Oh, and I should probably mention that both my father and grandfather were Customs Officers! And yet, I still did it.
What are some of the dumbest things YOU have ever done?