Unfastened Friday 1.0

Jul 1, 2011

Welcome to the first, the one, the only Unfastened Friday!

The premise is very simple - various people submit short tidbits that have happened to them or want to have happen to them. Funny, sexy, embarrassing, deviant. These people either don't want to to have this on their own blogs, or perhaps they're just not suited to their usual bloggy MO. Or maybe they are a little too short for an independent post - which is no problem, because I will list more than one per feature if they're shorter. I'm a big fan of variety!

I want to do this probably once a month, so please, if you enjoyed reading this and you have a quip that you would like to see on this feature, submit it here. You DO NOT have to submit your email OR name - those fields are optional. Only if you want to be acknowledged should you fill in the contact details on your story submission.

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1. Cool Penetrations
My girlfriend likes to be tied up now and then. She loves the feeling of submission.

What she doesn't know, however, is I'm in the process of making an ice dildo. I found a guide online, and plan on using it the next time she's unable to wriggle away.

Never done this before. Should be a hoot. Will she scream? Will it melt too fast? Only time will tell...

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2. The Popsicle Job
So I was a bit of a late bloomer. I was 21 when I gave my first blow-job, and I was unprepared to say the least.

We were in bed (a friend's bed at that) and this guy used his hands to get me off. He knew I was a virgin and wasn't going to have sex with him that night (he had a gf) so when he finishes he says "My turn" and rolls onto his back. He grabs his dick and kinda shakes it at me. I felt a little awkward, but I started giving him a hand job (that much I knew how to do) and he says "use your mouth". I fumbled a little because I felt insecure about it. I told him I'd never done that before and giggled like a little girl. He shrugs and says "It's like licking a popscicle!"

I'm a quick learner and he came like a fucking rocket, so all's well that ends well.

However, I'll never be able to look at a popsicle again without laughing my ass off!

D.Scandal

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3. Butt Cheek Banging
When I was 13, I was fooling around with a guy and doing a lot of sexual experimentation. I didn't want to have vaginal sex but I said I'd try anal sex.

I assumed the 'doggie style' position and he started thrusting his junk in between my butt cheeks. Even though I was a virgin and all new to this type of thing, I was pretty fucking sure I'd know if someone had entered one of my orifices. He sounded like he was enjoying himself, so I didn't say anything, but in all actuality, he wasn't even close. I was trying not to laugh as I was envisioning an angry blind man trying to poke a stick at a moving target.

I'm sure to this day, he'd say we had anal sex. Really? We did butt cheek banging - and it did nothing for me.

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Now that you know what Unfastened Friday is all about, do you have one you want to share? C'mon, do it! I know you want to.
Use this link for the submissions page.

15 comments:

  1. Lesley said...:

    My inner thighs lost their virginity before I did. The boy didn't know that, though.
    And the ice dildo....ouch!?

  1. Chunky Mama said...:

    Yeah... ice dildo? No frostbite on the hooha, please!

  1. KatieTheBlogLady said...:

    This makes me want to confess about this one time . . . um, maybe not today. But, ICE DILDO?!? Wow.

  1. Lady Estrogen said...:

    Ice dildo? Let's hope it doesn't have the same effect as sticking your tongue to a frozen pole - seriously! That wouldn't end well... for either of you! lol

  1. Soge shirts said...:

    I once wrote a blog about weird keywords you could rank for in google. No joke once was abominable snow dildo and i'm still on the second page for that.

    I think you might be on the front page for ice dildo.

  1. Anonymous said...:

    As the submitter of the ice dildo, I'd like to present this link to you. It addresses the frostbite issue, and I can attest, nothing stuck to anything.

    Ice Dildo How-to


    It was 105 out, we were in the backyard on a hot June day, and well, she enjoyed it. She actually melted that fucker pretty fast!

    When I entered her, she was cold. But she warmed up quickly. Don't knock it til you try it!

  1. Lost.in.Idaho said...:

    Ok, I laughed at the bj story. I had to teach my gf from scratch, since her ex never washed well down there, and she refused to do it to him. I described it the same way, but had to emphasize the "NO TEETH" part a few times.

  1. JoJo said...:

    i am literally gagging at the thought of someone dating a man who was unhygenic down there!!!! yuk! anyway, lush idea. The ice story is sensational!

  1. Boobies said...:

    LMFAO! I love these!

  1. Miss C said...:

    These are all pretty funny!

  1. Lady Estrogen said...:

    @JoJo
    I agree with you - the thought of the poor hygiene down there is gag worthy.

    @Lost.In.Idaho
    I think I kinda relate when it's instructional, but I had a guy say 'Oooo, suck it like a lollipop' as part of his sex-talk - and dude? It was too fucking hilarious. I barely contained myself on that one.

  1. singedwingangel said...:

    I am still kinda leery on the Ice Dildo lol.. cracking up at the blowjb one.. licking a popsicle?? Seriously...

  1. Love this idea! I can already think of several stories I want to send you, but one definitely has to remain anonymous!

  1. Leighannn said...:

    OMG that's hilarious!!
    Butt Cheek Banging!!

    Also?
    I'm not so sure I would be happy about the ice dildo.. Maybe a nice warm one, but no ice!

  1. Anonymous said...:

    -Leighann
    The worst part was that G'nR's Welcome to the Jungle was playing - I have never been able to listen to that song without laughing, even to this day.

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