Any Clotheshorse Can Learn to Sing

This Fawk You Friday is dedicated to one of my biggest pet peeves involving the music industry. Whether it be during an interview, written in an article or during an awards ceremony, I vomit a little in my mouth every time they refer to pop stars as "artists".
Singer? Yes.
Vocalist? Of course.
Performer? Obviously.
Entertainer? Indeed...
But an ar-teeest? NO BLOODY WAY.

It's an insult to "real" artists everywhere; whether they are actual composers, musicians, painters or anyone that creates something for an emotional or aesthetic purpose. So what if you can sing! Ooohh, you were born with a pretty face and a mediocre voice - congratu-fucking-lations for your gene pool. Just go line up and be the next contestant on American Idol, please. I recall one of my University professors saying that if someone already said it perfectly, don't try to top it - just quote or paraphrase it. So for the second time this month, I will recite the wise and poetic words of TISM to validate my argument:

Who writes the song? That's the thing!

Any clotheshorse can learn to sing...

Who are the ugly bastards hidden away

who write the tunes that get air play?

So if you don't write the song, then BIG--FUCKING--WOOPIE!

I'm not saying that the music is total crap. On the contrary, much of it is catchy - which is why it's classified as 'pop' music in the first place. I will also acknowledge that it takes a lot of balls to perform in front of thousands of people, and for that, I give them all due respect for being fabulous entertainers. I am just so tired of seeing the "puppet" that sings any particular hit song become the famous one while the true "artist" that wrote the lyrics and arranged the score is forgotten; or perhaps they actually do get an award, but it's presented during the commercials, because who really cares about them, right? Ugh!

I don't want to make this about American Idol but that show proved my point two-fold. One, for the contestants and its entire premise in general; and two because the world turned their noses up at Kara DioGuardi when she became a judge, but she was, in my opinion, the most talented and qualified judge they'd ever had! Did you know she has been credited on over 120 album releases*? Holy crap, Batman!

I think this is one of the multitude of reasons as to why I gravitated to alternative music and rock, rather than pop, per se; I could appreciate that the music I was listening to was (for the most part) written and performed by the same people - and to me, that is true musical artistry.

So, go on and read the liner notes on your favourite album. If the lyrics and music credits for each song do not match the name on the cover, then you have yourself a puppet performer, a vocalist; if they match, then and only then, they can be given the classification of an artist.


*Albumcredits.com