Aug 23, 2012

The Orgasm Bootcamp

OK, so I've been staying at my dear friend's place all week because of work shit, but since I was going to be staying, I thought as a hospitality gift, I would give her the gift that keeps on giving.

As I had mentioned a while back, I had my personal, umm, awakening last year, thanks to thee most beautiful piece of ergonomically crafted stainless steel that mankind has ever created.

Being the giving person that I am, I need to pass on this efficient knowledge that I have acquired; I feel it would be rather selfish of me to keep it to myself. So, I got out my dynamic duo of sex toys and sat down with my friend of 15 years. A friend, like many other women, is in her 30s and cannot give herself an orgasm. This isn't cool, especially when she's currently single.

Cue the smirks.
Ok, ok. Get out those giggles, woman. This is serious shit!

I was trying to channel my inner Sue motherfucking Johanson and do my very best "this is your vaginal canal with my hands" as I explained to her how to giver herself an orgasm with these special, special tools.

Warm up the steel with your hands a bit - it can be fairly cold to start.
You slide in the 3 bulbed end like this.
And move it from 10 and 2 like that, while also going in and out.
Rub it against the top of your vagina.
Push down your pelvis like that.
Start the vibrator on low and build up to a higher setting as you go along...

"Wait. I have to use both? That seems like a lot."

Yes, you use them in tandem! And no, it's not a lot. You're doing most of the work with the njoy. The vibrator is just pressing against your clit and surrounding area with only subtle motion. You'll know the spot when you hit it.

Trust me.

That is why I'd personally found the rabbit didn't work for me, since its dual prongs are one entity and the motions are symbiotic. However, what I want and need the internal and external stimulators to be doing are really quite different. One is thrusting and turning fast, while the other is slow and firm.

****8 hour time lapse****

I came home from work and found these in the bathroom, neatly washed and air drying on a towel...

I just love it when my student does her homework.

And yes, she tried. And tried. And tried.

"That steel really is more amazing that I ever imagined. I got close a couple times, buuuuuttt..."


I have worked up a good sweat to the point when I have to blow off beads that roll freely down my brow. Hell, I have had a cramp in my arm that was on fucking fire, but I could feel that I was close, so I persevered for the cause. That little bit of pain is worth the pleasure - every time.

Anyway, I certainly think she is closer than she's ever been; the key to cracking her big O safe is just around the corner. She definitely gave it a good shot, and I think the more she gets comfortable with exploring her own boundaries and then pushing those boundaries, she will finally explode. Although, she's now going to have to get her own steel toy. I'm leaving today and there's no fucking way it will be without my njoy. Sorry, but I also have boundaries.

Just relax and it too shall cum... kind of like all those dead baseball players, except they're all mind popping orgasms instead. 

Yes, exactly like that.


  1. When you make your business card, the slogan should be 'Orgasm Boot Camp: Drop and Give Me Twenty'

  2. Wait so you introduce her to your little friend then take it away.. how cruel is that. Well at least she has an idea of where to start...

  3. I offered the preview channel of all the amazing things coming up this month.

    Sorry, subscription required ;)

    And @Brandon...

    I've never made it to twenty - I think my arm for fall off. How about "Drop and Give Me Ten."

  4. Every girl should have a friend like you. We would all be much happier. Make up tips and recipe sharing is good stuff, but this, this is AWESOME.

  5. Every girl should have a friend like this! I'm not sure quite what I'd do without my trusty Vibrator.

  6. Whew, I think I got the vapors.

  7. That silver one does look interesting. Hmmm


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