Jul 18, 2011

A Bad Movie Choice

One of the earliest memories of my birthday parties is easy to recall. It was my 10th birthday; grade four.
In fact, I really wish I could forget it.
Or rather, rewind and do one tiny little thing over again: Choose a different fucking movie.

The party was going along nicely.
Games were played.
Presents were opened.
Cake was eaten.

My mother has purchased a huge makeup kit for the 'gimmick' of the party. We all applied hideous amounts of eye shadow, lipstick and rouge on each other. By the end of it, we closely resembled a group of midget zombie clowns rather than 10 year old girls. I have photos - they are terrifying.

The final wind-down was movie time. We all nestled in various positions around the couches and pillows on the floor, like a pride of lionesses; colourfully painted lionesses.

I had chosen 'Fine Things' for the movie. It is a Danielle Steel tearjerker but with some action and a love story. Even at ten, I really got into dramatic story lines like this one; I loved it. In hindsight, a Danielle Steel movie probably wasn't a wise decision for our age, nor for a party, regardless. I'd like to try and blame that one on my mother, but I know how stubborn I've always been and there was probably a "warning speech" that I chose to ignore, I'm almost certain of it.

We were all into the movie; it is definitely a roller coaster of a plot. Once the main characters were finally together, the woman gets cancer. It gets drawn out and is very revealing about the ugliness of cancer. The problem? One of my friend's little sister had recently been diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor and was under-going chemotherapy at Toronto Sick Kids.

Needless to say, at the dramatic scene where the mother dies, (If you haven't seen the movie, sorry for ruining it. It was made in 1990; get over it.) my friend goes into a complete meltdown. Extreme. We had to call her mother to come and pick her up.

I felt like a fucking twat. I still do, even to this day.

There really wasn't much of a party after that. We didn't watch the second half of the movie. We just kind of sat around in awkward silence... crying... and waited out the final hour before other parents arrived.

Worst. Party. Ever.

The next year? I think we watched 'House Party' with Kid n' Play.


  1. Oh no, not Kid n' Play...

    I had a fade when I was younger. I was teased. I was bullied. Worst of all, I'm white, so it looked HORRIBLE.

    Every time I see that movie, I remember my bad 90's hairstyle and break down.

    Yet... I still have an old pair of MC Hammer Pants...

  2. I'm sorry, but that is the best story ever! I remember in high school we all got together to watch the graduation episode of 90210 and cried like a bunch of idiots. Except my friend Kari. She laughed at us and told us it was all, "a bunch of hish" We still make fun of her for it to this day!!

  3. Talk about awkward, eh?

    But Danielle Steel? Really? I'm so going to give you shit about this for a long time!

  4. I was really concerned that sex was going to be involved but i suppose that EvEN YOU weren't that precocious. hahahaha

    how about Beaches? that's a great tearjerker (is that the time, you know Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey?)


  5. You were ten.. I blame Mom.. ;)

  6. Hmmm yup that sucked. House Party better choice.

  7. Oh, crap! Wow.
    Maybe it was cathartic for her???
    Feel your pain, though.

  8. Yeah, your mom should have talked you out of that movie choice, shit you were just a kid.

    Danielle Steele? Holy Moly!

  9. haha.... wish I was there. colorful painted lionesses.

    you movie choice probably help her deal w/ some deep rooted emotion, kinda like a real life Oprah moment.

    'you go girl'

  10. @Christine
    I'm sure there was a level of catharsis for her in that moment, but as far as my party goes, holy crap.

    Her family went through a lot of hell, but thankfully, her sister survived :)

  11. I have nothing funny to say.
    This party roinked

  12. Have you ever actually read a Danielle Steele book? I've read one and to this day, I shake my head over it. I wish I could remember the name but there's this chick who is cloned (or maybe it's a guy clone) and they have sex where the dude does back flips and shit. It's insanely ridiculous.

  13. oh jesus. I can't even begin to know what to say to that one. sad and awkward for sure. yikes.

  14. AWK-WARD!

    Even with quite a bad and sad post you always have me sniggering. Best line "sorry for ruining it. It was made in 1990; get over it"


    p.s. I have House Party on DVD :O

  15. Omg! Def a party faux pas. But you were 10-you can't be held accountable till at least 21, right?

    House Party is always a safe bet!

  16. And if this makes you feel any better, I watched Frim Dusk Till Dawn with my Granny...my fawking Granny!

  17. @Boobies
    That couldn't have been comfortable! haha

    I was a little weirded out by the elderly average age when I saw Bridesmaids. I was thinking: They shouldn't be laughing at that!! lol

  18. okay, this is just too much. what the heck? what fourth grader is even ALLOWED to watch a Danielle Steel TV movie? ha ha! I love this! Awesome post!

  19. Some of the choices we make as headstrong kids teach us the hardest lessons, don't they? I wonder if the crying girl even remembers your party? I'll bet it was harder on you than on her in the long run.

  20. Whoa! That did not go as planned.

  21. Oh, my god.

    I'm sorry that was so terrible and I'm also sorry that you all had to deal with that. I'm probably most sorry that I'm laughing and am going straight to hell.


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