And this just happened...
"Ya know, one of the reasons I get stressed out about sex is because I don't want more kids."
"Then get The Snip."
"Ugh. Maybe."
"Wow. You're actually coming around now? Seriously?"
".... ......... maybe."
"What if your second wife wants a baby?"
"We'll adopt."
"That won't be good enough. She'll neeeeeed your seeeeed."
"Are you mocking me?"
"Never."
"I'll go and freeze a couple batches before I get it done."
"That's expensive, you know."
"I'll use our freezer."
"HA. It doesn't work that way."
"Sure. We can store them in a separate tray beside the dog's gravy cubes."
"Like... sperm cubes?"
"Just don't get them mixed up."
"I honestly don't think the dog would notice."
"You're probably right... so, you don't want to get the procedure then?"
"Ummm... fuck no! That would seriously put a dent in my bi-racial baby plans with MY second husband."
-->> Here's about where joking in the reverse hypothetical situation never works and he starts to pout. <<--
"I won't pay child support."
"Of course not - it won't be your baby."
"I mean AT ALL. I'm going to disappear."
"That would be a neat trick. You'd have to shut down your Facebook account for that to happen."
"Done."
"You're such a fucking rebel. So hot, babe. Let's have sex!"
".... ........ .......... .................... no."
It's not the procedure itself, it's the having to go back and make sure they are shooting blanks - my husband had one after my daughter 7 years ago and never went back. My BIL had one and it had to literally be re-done because he still had baby powers. My other BIL never went back from 12 years ago and guess what? My SIL is now preggers at 40, her oldest is 16 and the other is 12. They thought they were done - I bet I still have to nag the shit out of mine to go back.
ReplyDeleteI think as long as you don't stick popsicle sticks in those babies, they shouldn't get mixed up with anything else..
My hubby had his done while I was pregnant with our last child. He even went back for the check up to ensure he was empty so to speak. He was.. thank heaven.
ReplyDeleteI went after baby #2 was in the oven. Didn't tell the wife. Divorced now, never told the girlfriend.
ReplyDeleteI'm 100% blanks. So if anyone gets pregnant...
My husband got snipped just before we moved to Canada. Of course with him, as with any procedure he needs to have done, it did not go so well. His balls swelled up to the size of a basket ball. You know it's bad when the doc looks at it and says :"Damn"...
ReplyDeleteAnyway, it healed and I'm glad he did it, because I (we) are so done with having children.
And it's never too early to start educating about it - when my kids play with their Playmobil people they make sure the guy gets snipped, because there are enough little Playmobil people there already!
Out of all the strangeness, for some reason I'm stuck on the dogs gravy cubes. WTF?
ReplyDeleteI'd be more afraid that the sperm cubes would be mixed up with the regular cubes, let alone the dog gravy cubes! What other kinda' cubes you got goin' on in that freezer of yours???
ReplyDeleteWell, we have an ice cube maker in a separate dispenser - so we're all good. lol
ReplyDelete@Brandon
You sneaky man, you. Also? When are you coming over? Ahem.
HAHA
If he ever goes through with it, make sure he has some valium (or weed) in his system. You don't feel the pain but you feel the tugging. And you can SMELL burning balls.
ReplyDeleteIt's a quick procedure, but man oh man... (still worth it)
omg Brandon! I thought that smelling my eyes burn while having Lasik was bad but burning balls. Gross.
ReplyDeleteI'm a big fan of snipped men seeing as I don't want children...ever! My motto...tastes great less filling. ;) hehe
Gonna be getting the snip done some day. Imagine how much I'll save on condoms! :D
ReplyDeleteThe reverse psychology thing never works with mine either.
ReplyDeleteI end up getting pissed off because he goes way over the line.
Reverse hypothetical situations never work to my advantage. Funny you brought it up, because it just so happened to me last weekend during a conversation about massages with my ball and chain. See "another married conversation".
ReplyDeleteTell that dude to suck it up and get the snip.
Our doctor actually let me do the left tube. I'm not kidding.
It was awesome.