When is young too young?

Jun 18, 2012

"I want us to have sex."

"Nope, sorry. I don't want to have sex until I'm older, and when I'm in love."

"That's lame. Sex is fun."

"That's nice. I'll find out when I'm older. You aren't going to change my mind."

"Fine. How about in your ass?"

I laid there naked, and as he groped my right breast I paused to think about it.
"Mmmmm. OK, I guess we could give that a try."

The look on his face was nothing short of pure excitement. His beautiful crystal blue eyes that initially attracted me to him were widened with anticipation. He grabbed my ass and hoisted me up onto all fours to assume "the position". I didn't really do much to help him out - not that I knew what the fuck to do anyway; I just thought he would know.

He pretended to be so experienced, even though I was fairly intuitive and saw right through his bullshit. For some reason or another, I found his phony act of "studliness" oddly endearing... however briefly.

He pushed his dick between my butt cheeks and just started pounding away - like a drunken fool trying to get their key into the hole by ramming it in the general area of the key hole.

Yes, that.

And let me just say that he never got in the door.

I just stayed there on all fours getting pounded from behind, but aside from the force of his body hitting mine, there was nothing. And I knew it. It was quite obvious to me, but apparently not to him.

After he had, umm, finished? He collapsed on to his bed beside me and with an exhausted smile, he rubbed his hand on my stomach and said, "You're officially my twentieth lay. Congratulations, sexy!"

Charming.

And so not true. It took everything in me not to call him on that clusterfuck, but by that time, I had ZERO interest in having him trying again. I just let him have his moment.

I was twelve.

And he was thirteen.

----------------------------------------------------------------

And this happens more than parents want to know or are willing to admit, but it's out there. It's going on right now, and even though parents find it uncomfortable taking about sex with their adolescents, they need to. It's a part of life and growing up and learning and exploring.

I thought it was time I wrote this post as a response to the latest controversies of what constitutes going "too far" with sexual education for children at the grade 7-8 level (12-13 years old). I cannot believe this is STILL going on. The legislation has been in place since 1988, people! Get the fuck over it and talk to your children about sex.

This is my story, and this event took place 22 years ago.

A lot has changed in 22 years but two things will always remain the same: Kids are curious and dumb - and it's a terrible combination.

Please educate them.




24 comments:

  1. Rebecca said...:

    Agree. Agree. Agree.

  1. Thank you for pointing this out - the talk is coming soon. My son is 10, kids are easily fooled and dumber as the group gets bigger. Brought back a similar memory where I was 'saved by the bell' at 12 - same organ, different orifice. Back then there were house phones that had to be answered in a different room, thank god.

  1. middle child said...:

    Twelve? Shit! I did have this tslk with my kids off and on. My daughter finally came to me asking to be on the pill. She was 15. I had already told her to come to me if she was going to have sex. But in talking with her,...I mentioned that she wasn't even "going" with anyone. Then she said she and her friend Janet had just decided they just wanted to but decided to wait. My nosy ass husband (not her father) went through her diary and found out she WAS having sex so I told her about it, told her to hide her diary better and took her to the gyny.

  1. Lady Estrogen said...:

    @Middlechild

    See? Gah. Mixed feelings about reading the diary, BUT it drives me insane when teens have a parent they CAN talk to and STILL lie. Double gah!

    Privacy is not a right for our kids, it's a privilege and they have to earn it.

    Wow, I sound like my mother but she's a pretty great parent, so I'm OK with that.

  1. Leighannn said...:

    Fantastic post my friend. Luckily I grew up with parents who were not blind to the hormones surging through my pre teen body.
    I'm so glad you wrote this.

  1. Lady Estrogen said...:

    @Leighannn

    RIGHT?! My mom was awesome with talking about sex, but I still was curious.
    I'd like to think it was because of our talks that "at least" helped me stand up to my firm decision to wait for intercourse... if nothing else? Ahem.

  1. Zombie said...:

    It makes me sad when parents dont educate their children about sexual issues like that.

  1. Angel Shrout said...:

    I have always talked to my kids that is appropriate for their age level. I want them to know nothing they say or do is new to me, and certainly not new period in that area. Which kind of sucks the allure out of it for them yes.. the fact that mom KNOWS and may have DONE that.. Yeah real show stopper there.

  1. Leigh Ann said...:

    This could be one of the most important things you've written or will write. This topic terrifies me! I know how I felt as a teen, but that doesn't mean my kids won't be dumb and experimental like I was NOT. I mean I was dumb, but not experimental.

  1. Kyla said...:

    Holy Shit. Sorry. But, Holy Shit. Time for me to wake up.

  1. Lady Estrogen said...:

    @Leigh Ann

    Thank you so much - that means a lot to me. So much.

  1. Curious and dumb, a deadly combination.

    Adults are curious and dumb too. They made a TV show out of it, called "Jackass." Maybe we should have a tween version??

    And I agree, educate educate educate. Going LALALALALA does nothing but turn a blind eye, and let your curious (and dumb) kids do stupid things.

  1. B said...:

    This post is so necessary. I'm so sick of living in a state that thinks abstinence-only education is even remotely relevant in this day and age. Even the "good kids" that seem (seem, being the operative word here) completely uninterested in sex (aka me, as a teenager) are out there having it in some form or another, and need some education.

  1. Anonymous said...:

    I actually really like this post....being the mom of 4 girls, it was dialogue I kept open between them all the time.My youngest(18) is still a virgin...not kidding, she tells me everything----and has a new boyfriend and is talking about having sex.My 3 eldest had sex at the ages of 17 and 18. So is education needed...YES. Emphatically.....it helped my kids make better decisions for themselves. Parents, do you job!~ Justbeingdenise

  1. mylifepartdos said...:

    I left home at 18 not knowing what a virgin was. And I attended a christian-based church. Sex was not talked about in the home I grew up in. It wasn't done by children, so therefore we didn't need to know about it.

    I'm raising my kids differently. We talk about body parts and what they do and what they are for and what their real names are. We answer any and all questions that come up - honestly, to the point, and in words they understand. We talk about who gets to touch their bodies, and who doesn't, and what to do when someone touches them even though they said no.

    Because this world is scary. And people forget to keep their hands to themselves. And because leaving home at 18 not knowing anything sucked.

  1. bananawheels said...:

    Hear hear. So important, and so often addressed waaay too late.

  1. Fritter said...:

    So important. I'm glad you wrote it- but I'm sorry you experienced it. Being a mom of 3 boys I want them to know that it IS NOT an indication of their worth as to how many women they are with- just like their father. I have no issue talking to them about it- preparing them for what's out there. And what NOT to do. xo.

  1. Tracy said...:

    This post blew me out of the water. Seriously. Intense, scary, thought-provoking and terrifying as a parent of a little girl.

  1. Karen Vasquez said...:

    I love the last line. And I can't agree with you more that kids need to be educated. I experienced dumb guys as a dumb teen and your story just "drove" that point home. I love reading your writing. It's honest and well said.

  1. Karen said...:

    Goodness.....12? I don't even think I knew what sex was at 12. Great post, thank you for writing it. I was definitely a late bloomer...I was 19 but I know that's definitely not the case anymore.

  1. SherilinR said...:

    i had the sex talk with my daughter when she was 7. it seemed too young, but better too young than too late. and one of my main objectives as a parent is to strip the mystery out of all the taboo subjects that make parents squirm. if we act like it's not a big deal to discuss things, maybe our kids will take the cue and talk about stuff with us too.

  1. Thank, Q said...:

    The conversation needs to be had at an earlier age these days then when I was a kid. Sex gets introduced to kids in so many ways through different forms of media now. Your story is probably more common than a lot of people would like to believe.

    SN: I'm pretty sure that guy was lying when he said that he was on lay #20.

  1. Lady Estrogen said...:

    @Thank, Q

    I can damn near guarantee I was #1 or 2, not 20. haha

  1. Chris Bird said...:

    You're telling me. This happened to our daughter, and she is ten. We had to go into it a little already because of this fuck.

    http://changethetopic.com/life-2/cat-a-story-stolen-innocence/

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