Happier than a pig in...

SHEEEE-IT!
Today is 11.11.11. 

(Not to be confused with the American way of writing it, 11.11.11. Pssfft!) 

The O.C.D. in me is so happy that I can barely find the words to express myself. Fuck it. I'm going to get someone else to demonstrate for me instead. Perhaps... maybe... The Animated Woman? Oh yes, that's much better. SWEET!

Spectacular, right?! Yes, I'm THAT happy. Next year's 12.12.12 will be the last one of the century - if you want to put it into perspective that way. And if I don't get laid on THAT day, there's going to be some serious repercussions. 

I'm in such a generous mood that I'm giving away not one but TWO things from my shop to a couple of lucky, lucky ladies 

from yesterday's post. Comment #5 was by the Sarcasm Goddess and #14 was Sweaty. Yay!

My two gracious winners both chose the Cunt Dragon mug. Big surprise? Not really - it is rather fantastic.

The best part is that they would both like to say a few words upon accepting these ceramic masterpieces.

Sarcasm Goddess

Wow. This is incredible. Please bear with me as I try to gather my thoughts. I have dreamed of this day – the day I would win The Cunt Dragon Mug – ever since I was a wee girl. Finally, it has arrived.

The road here wasn’t an easy one. I’ve inspected a lot of vomit over the years, and while it sounds really glamorous, it wasn’t always as sexy as it sounds. But I never gave up. How could I? There were Cunt Dragon mugs to be won.

I would like to thank my mother, who taught me that anything is possible, as long as you set your mind to achieving it. My dogs, who always kept me in tip-top vomit-inspecting shape by puking all over the house at least once a week. My husband, who has always supported my dreams, even when others said the Great and Glorious Cunt Dragon Mug was unattainable. Some even said the Mug was a myth.

Well look who’s laughing now, bitches.

I, of course, have to thank the vomit, hundreds upon thousands of piles of it. I am grateful for vasectomies and the men who get them and the children who vomit about them.

And lastly, above all else I have to thank the Queen of Cunt Dragons herself, the one, the only, the incomparable Lady E. You have made all my dreams come true and I will love you til the day I die.

With Sincerest Gratitude,

Sarcasm Goddess

Do Sweat the Small Stuff

I could count with my middle finger how many times I have won something in my life--yep, not a lot. So it was to my utter delight when I received an email from my FAVORITE blogger of ALL time, Lady Estrogen, informing me that I, Sweaty, have in fact hit the jackpot and won this really awesome guessing contest she had recently.

Lady E's son obviously had inherited her f*cking brilliant mind, because during a recent bout of sickness, he barfed Alphagetti all over my FAVORITE blogger of ALL time (Lady E, that is) and sent forth a set of letters that spelled "vasectomy" on the carpet. Oh my gosh, how f*cking brilliant was THAT?!? Truly, it was a MIRACLE! Such a rare occurrence unbeknownst to me or should I say, mankind!

Have I mentioned that my FAVORITE blogger of ALL time, Lady E, is also generous and kind? So I wasn't surprised that she offered her followers a chance to win one of her ORIGINAL, one-of-a-kind Estro-goodies by guessing what the regurgitated word was. And so I did! And I won! I won, I won, I WON!!!

So here it is, my humble acceptance speech. Pledging my lifelong loyalty to my FAVORITE blogger of ALL time, Lady E, for proving once again that she is AWESOME, BRILLIANT, ORIGINAL... (even if she does not own a metal pet named Rihanna. Oops, was that supposed to be a secret, Lady E?). OK, I'll stop now. But not before I say it once again, that Lady E is my FAVORITE blogger of ALL time.

Love,
Sweaty

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My pleasure, ladies! Thank you for the flattering acceptance speeches :)
I love how Sweaty censored her "fucks" - so adorable! Ha. 
Your mugs are on their way.

Last year, I did a Remembrance Day tribute in honor of my grandfather. Always in my heart, today and forever.

Have a great weekend everyone!