Delayed Gratification

It was the summer after my second year of university and I was back from residence and suffering from parental overload. A lot of my friends had either stayed in the cities to which their university was located or were busy with jobs. I had a pre-arranged night shift job close to my home town every summer, and I didn’t have a boyfriend to help pass the time in the afternoons – it was just me, my over-bearing parents and my boring-ass factory job – fuckin’ save me!

Well... someone upstairs heard my cries because one rare night I was out at the local pub district and I ran into one of my ex-boyfriends’ closest friends. Now, this may seem like no biggie, but this was not just any guy – Greg was the main focus of my clandestine lust for the better part of a year. The entire time I dated his friend, I secretly wished it was him. Many times that we were in bed, I even fantasized that it was Greg instead – it helped our sex life greatly – although the poor guy would have been crushed if he found out the ‘real’ reason why I was so horny all the time.

It was a damn miracle that I never called out Greg’s name by accident!

Close to two years had gone by since that awkward situation, and since I’d seen him at all, but nothing had changed. The moment I saw him, my stomach did I few back flips of sexual joy and I quickly ditched my friends to go over and talk to him. We had always got along before, with innocent flirtations and good conversation, so it wasn’t a surprise when he gave me a giant hug when he saw me.

“JOCK! O my god! How the hell are ya?” (I played softball, and in comparison to him and his pot-smoking, rockstar lifestyle burn-out friends, that made me an uber-athlete, to which they loved teasing me about.)

After a few minutes of catching up (and me striping him naked with my eyes) he gave me another hug along with his phone number. He insisted that I gave him a call and we could hang out sometime. Wow, God doesn’t hate me after all! I tried not to be too eager, even though it was the phone call I had wanted to make for the last 3 years! I had wanted to get in touch with him after I broke up with his friend, but wasn’t sure about the proper protocol or acceptable ‘cooling off period’ that followed that situation. This time, I waited about a week – it was one of the longest weeks of my life, although my day dreaming of possible scenarios did help the time go faster at my otherwise mind-numbing job.

There was also the possibility that Greg was just trying to be nice when I saw him that night, so I was still nervous about calling him. I had never spoken to him on the phone before. When I called he seemed genuinely happy to hear from me and suggested that I came over to his place the next day. We had a great time together; I had forgotten how much I enjoyed his company, even though nothing physical happened between us that night... or the ones that followed.

I had started making a routine of spending a couple hours at his place before I went to my night job a few nights a week; it became my refuge. Although the sexual tension was so incredible between us (at least I thought so from my perspective), I had pretty much concluded that too much time had passed for us to go down that road. A few times some of his friends stopped by unexpectedly, including my ex-boyfriend. Apart from some initial confused looks and a few awkward silences, no one ever brought up the elephant in the corner, so we just left it alone. I think it was safe to say that enough time had passed that it wasn’t really their business anyway.

It was close to the end of the summer by this point and I would shortly move back to school residence. I was pleasantly surprised how the later part of my summer had turned out. I had gone over to Greg’s place for our normal mid-week hang out, but this time was different. He did something that he hadn’t done in over 3 years – he called me by my real name; I had never heard it sound so sexy.

He had called me over to him, affectionately.

My heart was racing as I walked towards him – for a split second I thought I was going to pass out from the anticipation... No mixed signals; I was certain what was about to happen.

As soon as I was close enough, we dove into each other and finally engaged in a 3-year-long-overdue kiss. It was mind-blowing, but also a bit of a blur at the same time – like we had simmered the pot for way too long and got so hot that it just exploded into a million pieces.

We had already wasted enough time... we staggered over to his bed, undressing each other and never stopped kissing the entire journey. I had imagined this moment so many times that I was almost in disbelief that it was actually happening. I had desired him for so damn long so I wanted to savour every inch of his body. The foreplay and oral sex lasted a euphoric eternity – it was actually fun as well as erotic. I didn’t normally enjoy giving head, but I loved every second of it with him.

I even swallowed – which I’ve done only a couple times in my life. We had both already climaxed and we hadn’t even had intercourse yet.

We took a quick break to catch our breath and he went to search for a condom. I enjoyed watching his bare ass hoping around his room – until he came back with bad news – no condom.

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!

A part of me wanted to cry in disappointment, but I laughed it off and lovingly called him an idiot or something along those lines. He joined me back in his bed and we gently kissed and enjoyed just being together... finally, after all that time.

I moved back to university that weekend and I missed him terribly, but it is unbelievable how distracting life can become; Before I noticed, a month had passed since that night we were together, and then a year.

I never saw him again.

Friends with Benefits

Most people will say that the concept of `Friends with Benefits’ is nothing but a myth. This is not true; it is actually possible, however rare, like an exotic endangered animal. There are 2 main reasons why this arrangement fails time and time again. Firstly, one of the 2 people involved develops feelings for the other during their pleasure games (which is not always the girl, but usually). Secondly, one of the two lied from the beginning and secretly harboured feelings for the other (which is unfortunately most always the girl), and then the poor guy wouldn't know what hit him when she brought hell’s fury down upon him when he didn’t return the affection. He would look like a retarded deer in headlights when he rebutted, “Buuuuut, I thought it was just going to be a casual thing?”

I was able to have a successful ‘Friends with Benefits’ arrangement with a close friend of mine during the summer of our final year in high school (and it continued off and on for about 6 years). It began at a graduation party at one of the more well-off students at our school. There was an in-door pool, sauna, hot tub and a couple acres of land and forest. Most of our close friends weren’t there – it was just myself and Mark, which wasn’t unique; we were very good friends. We ended up being the only 2 in the hot tub and were exchanging harmless sexual innuendos and banter, which was entirely normal for us... until I responded to one of his insults with the very original, “Screw You!” He laughed for a second and then stopped abruptly. While still smiling, he replied, “Alright.”

“Alright what?”

“Screw me.”

“Huh?”

“You heard me! Let’s do it.”

I scrunched up my face like I had an itchy nose, contemplating his proposition. I never thought of him like that, although I was not totally oblivious to the fact that he had a fantastically fit body. I continued to question, “What? Right now? Here?”

“Sure! Why not? We’re both single.”

“Well, since you put it that way!” And we jumped out of the hot tub. He ran to his car for a second to get a couple of condoms. It didn’t surprise me at all that he had a ready supply. There were a lot of people doing their own things at the party and no one noticed the two of us head off into the woods. We chose the least horrible spot that we could find in the dark and laid a beach towel on the ground. Only flickers from the distant bonfire were giving us any light at all.

There is one thing that I need to mention about the great Canadian woodlands...it is always fully stocked with mosquitoes...and they LOVE me. I was wearing a one-piece bathing suit, so in order to engage in some sexual liaisons, I had to get totally naked; Mark was at least able to keep his top on. My holiest of bits were on display for all the little blood-sucking insects to see. We managed to have a great little quickie that night. It was fun and fast, mainly because it wasn’t exactly the ideal setting for a slow, comfortable screw. There was no cuddling after what we had just done, nor was there any awkwardness. It was all good! We were both honest and straight forward and we knew exactly what we meant to each other – ONLY FRIENDS... and after that night...WITH BENEFITS! Yahoo!

I did end up paying for it the next morning, however. I had a giant bruise across almost the entire height of my back, vaguely outlining the shape of a branch (or something similar that must have been on the ground under the beach towel). It ached – but was actually the least of my woes. I had no less than 30 mosquito bites. I was used to getting them on my arms and legs, but this time they were all over my entire body! The sex was fun, but there was nothing more uncomfortable than a half dozen giant itchy mosquito bites wedged up high between my butt cheeks, that was for certain!

Cruising

I had gone on a cruise with my parents shortly after I turned 19 – it was to be the last ‘family’ vacation that I was go on with them. It was a fantastic cruise ship – my parents aren’t ones to hold back when it comes to their vacation destinations. The problem I had with being on the cruise ship was that I was stuck there – with my parents. We shared the same family suite cabin and the same table for dining, and so on. I understood that it was meant to be a ‘family’ experience, but I thought it was just lame. I saw them every damn day! The idea of being confined to their company on a ship like this was annoying, especially when I was technically an adult.

The shittiest thing was that although I had been legal for quite a few months by this point, the ship was in ‘international water’ which meant that the legal drinking age for liquor was 21. Crap! It was like having to give back a really cool gift – it wasn’t fun. I was allowed to drink light beer – if I wanted to – yuck, I’ll stick with my soda, thanks.

There were a lot of young people on the ship – probably about 23-24; they were in large groups and always looked to be having the greatest time... and there was me, sitting quietly with my family. Yawn. A couple times, my mother would say, “Why don’t you go and make friends with them?” Ya, ok, Mom... because we’re all in grade 1 on the LaLaLand ship and I will go and play with them! (Sense the heavy sarcasm?) Obviously, it didn’t work that way, and neither did I have the courage to even contemplate that idea, as bad as it was.

It only took 2 days before I was bored with my parents, and I tried to find a place where I could escape, even for a quick smoke, or something... anything! I had found a tiny lounge bar at the opposite end of the ship and I found a small table near the window. I ordered one of the disgusting light beers, only so to look a little older than I was. I thought ordering a Coke would be a giveaway. Every few minutes, I would take a big gulp of it to force it down while trying to minimize the disgusting after taste. There were only a couple people in this lounge, mostly empty, and there was someone playing the piano at the front of the room. He was very good, and he had caught my attention, so I switched my gaze from the vast horizon line to his playing.

Since the room was practically empty, it didn’t take him long to realize that he had a small audience. Even from behind the piano, I could tell that he was very tall – close to 7ft. He had a smoothly shaved head and was very dark and good looking. I could barely understand him through his thick Jamaican accent but I gathered that he was asking me for songs to play. It turned out that he was the keyboardist/pianist in the Calypso Band on board the ship. We had a few laughs and before long, I was sitting beside him, playing Heart & Soul (the only song I could play on the piano). We didn’t really talk too much, but still enjoyed each other’s company.

About an hour had passed and he told me that he wanted to go back to his cabin... and take me with him. Dense me – it took me a few seconds to register what he meant. Ahhh... oh, yes, ok! Wow, I was excited. I followed him out the bar and though some double doors that said “STAFF ONLY”. We were going down a couple flights of stairs and down a long corridor and passing a lot of open rooms with staff members everywhere, just hanging out and relaxing.

I felt like ‘Baby’ in Dirty Dancing – all I was missing was that damn watermelon!

We had got to his room, which he shared with one other guy. It was so tiny and there was a bunk-bed in which his was the top – of course. As soon as he shut the door, he took off his shirt and pants and kissed me. He was so toned and every inch of his body was perfectly chiselled. I was wearing a dress that buttoned all the way down the front, so it was easy for him to start undressing me. We were both down to underwear when he gestured for me to climb up into his bed. I was horrified at the thought of him seeing my ass wave in his face as I climbed onto the bed, especially since I didn’t exactly have on a pair of Victoria’s Secret, so I told him to go first. I was wearing my standard ‘granny panties’ as hooking up was about the furthest thing from my mind when I got dressed that morning.

We finished undressing each other when we got up on the top bunk. There was no more than 3 feet of space from the bunk to the ceiling, so we had to do all the foreplay on our sides, facing each other. When it came time to have sex, he awkwardly shimmied on top of me. We had filled the tiny rectangular space to its limit; my legs were in the air with my toes just touching the ceiling and his long legs were against the far wall and he was using it to push off from, and to go deeper into me. Wow! It was a completely non-ideal place to have sex, but we were making it work somehow. I was not naive in thinking that I was the first girl he had tried this with, especially when he had a drawer fully stocked of condoms. It was intensely hot, and it sure beat the hell out of playing bingo with my parents!

After that afternoon, I didn’t really think I would see him again, which was fine with me. Besides, I barely could understand what he was saying to me. All I knew was that he was gorgeous and wanted to have sex with me – score! That is what a holiday fling is all about, right? Well, the complete opposite happened! He called my family’s cabin at least 5 times a day for the next 2 days. My mother was wondering who the hell this guy was! I just told her that some guy had a crush on me.

I finally agreed to meet up with him and he told me that he loved me and eventually wanted to move to my hometown to be with me.

What the fuck? 

It was the last thing I had ever thought was going to result from having sex with this guy. I had to let him down gently, but it really wasn’t something I was used to doing – usually I was the ‘breakie’ and the guy was the ‘breaker’. I told him I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship and wasn’t ready for anything – which was a load of crap – but it was the only thing I could think of. Who knows! Maybe it was all an act to try and pull a green card scam on me, or perhaps he genuinely wanted to be with me. Either way, it was totally bizarre.