Mommy Dearest - Revisited

I wrote this last year and in honor of Mother's Day, I would like to air it out one more time...

I'm finding it difficult finding the words to pay tribute to such an amazing woman:
My mother.
I think what astounds me the most is although she has taught me so much, I struggle every day to be like her; to be a better person.

She is forgiving; I am not.
There have been some atrocities that have been done to my mother in the past and I know about them and who did them. She has forgiven them and yet I detest them. I will never forgive them and I have zero intentions to rectify those relationships.

She has over-come so much. Many (who have gone through much less) use their pasts as crutches as to why or how the world has done them wrong and it's at the root of all their current misfortune, poor choices, and short-comings. I often fail to empathize with these people because I think "If my mother could have done it, why couldn't you?"

She is able to move forward; I cannot forget the past.
I hold on to both good and bad things that have happened so tightly and I really cannot understand why I'm always so terrified to let go. I often feel that they make up a part of me and if I forget them, move on or let go, that I will be losing those parts of myself forever.

My mother has let go of many things and yet she remains whole. I see her lead by example and yet I cannot take that leap of faith.

Faith.
After everything, she still has her faith. I lose mine on a daily basis. I see my faith more like genetic trait. I will not fight it and I will surely pass it down to my children, but I have no passion about it. 


I do believe, but I am often angry with God.

My mother may be divine, but she is no saint. She has a fantastic sense of humor and whether she wants to admit it or not, it's one of the few qualities I did manage to get from her. Don't try to fight it, Ma, you're good and warped... and that is why you are so incredible to me.

You are my hero, my best friend and I love you. 

One Awesome Lady

We often hear the question: What you you want to be when you grow up?
And also: Who is your role model?
I'm sure there has been varying answers that have come and gone throughout the years, but one has always be a constant, since I was about 14.

Sue Johanson.

She is my role model and I want to be her when I grow up.
This woman fucking rocks. She is still kicking around, however slowly these days, as she's now 81.

I use to watch her show all the time and was blown away with how frank she was about sex - and in such an entertaining way. She came to my college once and I was star-struck.

Not only is her knowledge of sexual health a bottomless well, but she's also a fellow hometown Toronto lady, born and raised. She began a high school birth control clinic in the 70s - which was the first of its kind in all of Canada¹, which, at that time, was pretty damn ballsy. She's also written three books about, well... you guessed it, sex; my favorite being Sex Is Perfectly Natural but Not Naturally Perfect.

She has been awarded the Order of Canada AND has her own brand of sex toys!
Yes, that awesome.

If you know who she is, then I needn't say anymore, but if you do not know her, have a quick watch with her on Conan a few years back. You'll quickly understand my adoration for this woman, my hero.

"There's a lot of things that you can use that you've got around the house, 
besides the carrots, cucumbers and the regular things..."

ACK. She kills me!



1. Wikipedia: Sue Johanson