I'm talking about Satan's natural lubricant.
The devil's water slide.
Mother nature's snake painter...
----> PERIOD SEX <----
I have found that there are varying degrees of opinions from both genders. Some, on both sides, discount it as being nothing but a complete write-off for 3-5 days every month. Right about here is where I'd like to chalk up just one more reason why God is a twisted dude... it's a proven fact that women can get pretty fucking horny when they are menstruating.
Some guys I know have had their share of horror stories when it comes to this situation, and for that, I can't really blame them for having particular hang-ups about it. On behalf of all the crazy bitches that weren't up front about having their monthly lady sploodge, I apologize, because that shit just ain't right. That being said, I've found that if I were to liken the majority of men to that of Kryptonians, then a woman's menstrual blood would be their glowing crimson kryptonite to which they would recoil at the mere presence of it.
(Don't think I'm implying that all men are Superman. Easy there, killers. You'd be super too if you were the LAST human male, but alas, I digress.)
Some women that I know are completely turned off by it, and feel dirty and unsexy. Well, I'd personally like to take this opportunity to thank The Bible for that one. Talk about centuries of brainwashing - see how effective it was? I'm sure all the Puritan ghosts are giggling their repressed asses off right now.
It's biology, not a sin.
I'm not saying people need to LOVE it. It's not entirely pleasant and I'll admit that the thought of oral sex is pretty revolting, BUT it is not a disease or an isolated occurrence that should still be freaking people out. I should add that I might think if someone "LOVED" it, there's a strong chance that guy is a vampire. So, careful there.
Other women have admitted to me that they aren't adverse to it, but that their boyfriend/husband is completely grossed out, so it's become a moo point in their relationship.
The men that are willing to compromise are my secret heroes. My troopers. Way to take one for the team, guys! I know my friend's boyfriend was slightly grossed out, but he powered through it and she'd wipe off the worst of it afterwards; then he would take a shower. Simple. See?
That's fucking team work, people!
My husband? Well, there are apparently two substances in the world that will burn him upon contact.
His finger will sizzle off with holy water, and his cock will ignite when coming into direct contact with menstrual blood. Even if I'm completely finished, his line is always, "Let's wait one more day... ya know... just in case."
And as for me?
I'm actually a "meh" woman, myself. I could take it or leave it on most occasions, but I will say this...
If I'm utterly gagging for it and so happen to also be riding my crimson tide, I'm thinking: Man up! Throw down a maroon towel (navy works nicely too) and give me a good solid pounding!
What's your stance? Honestly, are you a trooper, a Kryptonian, or a vampire?
Honestly, I love having sex with my wife during her period. As you've noted, it's a great lube. Also, she gets really hot around that time. And I'm washable.ReplyDelete
We grab the towel, we have fun, I don't have to worry much at all about making her pregnant if I decide to forgo the condom (and I do at these times) and we both end up happy.
Only blood I tend to be averse to the sight of is my own, so no problems there.
I've never given her oral sex during the peak of menstruation (but I'm open to trying), but toward the end, there really isn't enough anywhere near the entrance to the holiest of holies to taste, so I'm OK there, too.
Then again, I'm a kinkster who's willing to try *almost* anything once.
Go Crimson Tide!
I've never slept with a man who actually enjoyed it. A few have dealt with it since I get pretty horny and that's always a fun time, but most recently, the boy (now ex...) is disgusted by it. He says it's because he doesn't want it all over the sheets, but offer a towel or a nice romp in the shower and he would still cower. I don't understand it at all.ReplyDelete
Kudos to those men who will ride the tide! I need to find me one of those!
Honestly, I don't mind having sex, period or no period. Especially now, since I haven't been gettin' any. Or maybe I'm just biased? LOLReplyDelete
I lay the towel down and go to town. No better cure for cramps. You'd also NEVER know the difference in the shower.ReplyDelete
The shower is a great place to enjoy a little x-rated cuddling during that oh so much fun time of the month for us ladies! Just saying . . .ReplyDelete
I madam consider myself a Trooper. I however do not in any time soon see myself being a vampire. I dont like the taste of pennies.ReplyDelete
And yes, I agree.
It'd be like a parody of Live; instead of Throwing Copper, it would be Licking Copper.
I can't see that being a hit any time soon.
Moo point! Ha! Best Joey line ever.ReplyDelete
I married a Trooper, and darn proud of it.
I'm definitely more the trooper type. Doesn't bother me much, oral is definitely out though. But I don't see the issue, it just means less foreplay really... and a towel for mess.ReplyDelete
On an everyday basis, I can just take a few days off with no problem.ReplyDelete
To quote a Snoop Dogg song: "And if you can't fuck that day baybaeh, then just lay back, and open yo mouth..."
Some situations are exceptions to the rule. For example, I once drove 900 miles to see a girl for the weekend. All we had was three days. And she was on her period.
I wasn't NOT going to get some, so we made the best of it. It showers off, and if it bothers you THAT much, just don't look down.
Yes, I'll fuck you when you're on your period, if you want it or I want it. I won't join the copper club, but I'll still plow you for hours on end. Does that make me a superman? Or just a regular Joe?
Maybe you just have bad luck??
I see no problem with it and neither does my man!ReplyDelete
Ew, blech, gross!!ReplyDelete
For me? Shower sex or bring out the vibrator. No shame.ReplyDelete
Depends on what stage of the crimson tide I'm riding....heavy flow = no go! If it's light let's make it right!ReplyDelete
YOU KILL ME!
That is all.
At least we're clear on your view. lol.
That's my girl :)
I'm so impressed you took the time to create a rhyme for this occasion. Ha!
This is hilarious. I usually skip the sex - for my own sake, not for Hubby's. I'm a wimp though.ReplyDelete
Hubs is all over me at that time, so apparently I give off some sexy scent, but I just don't get into it. Gah! Now I sound like a prude.ReplyDelete
Well your husband and my husband have something in common because i get the SAME line about "waiting just one more day" when I'm wanting it but the tide has just gone out.ReplyDelete
I liked your post... you are right I don't believe it is a sin either but I will say one thing (and then a couple other things)... I tried this once when I was not serving the Lord with my boyfriend because we were told by other more experienced people that it was fine and good so we tried it and I literally felt gross afterwards... I can still remember the night and the feeling. It was not anything to do with brainwashing since I didn't care about doing things God's way at that time. Probably just preference. I have plenty of friends who thoroughly enjoy it during that time and I think its great for them! And do not believe they will be judged by God for it either.ReplyDelete
Also, I have heard stories about women healing from sexual abuse heart wounds when their husbands prayerfully decided to not have sex during their wife's cycle... and lastly a personal friend of mine miraculously got pregnant after 7 years of trying by praying and then deciding by faith to try the old testament way and not having sex during that time and I think 7 days afterwards even. They have a sweet baby now!
So again, not saying it is sin but there may be some Godly wisdom there to obstain during that time.
Not offended or debating - just thoughts that came to mind after reading and I thought you might want be interested to know the positives to the other side of it :) I've learned that the Lord is always looking out for our best interest and never withholds any good thing from us. Didn't always think that tho either. And greatest of all we have a savior - Jesus - who died for us because He loves us so much and rose again so we could be whole on the inside!
I'm not sure why God would give a rats ass if I want to have sex on my period (does he really keep that close of tabs on me?)ReplyDelete
Anyhow, the hubs and I have done it, I really don't think there is much in this universe except someone throwing up, that grosses that man out. Have to admit though, that at this point unless I'm REALLY horny, I'd rather just pass. Too lazy to deal with cleaning up the mess.
I'd be worried the whole time thinking "what if the towel moves? I'll ruin my 700 thread count sheets. I Love these sheets. OH GOD stop, I think the towel moved, save the sheets!"
I love having sex on my period. My boyfriend loves it too. No lube needed, and he doesn't have to worry about a condom.ReplyDelete
He goes down on me as well, he said he doesn't mind cause I love it, especially when its that time of the month and i'm super horny.
Is he awesome or what? :)