Does this look like a "Bring Your Own Porn" establishment?

Nov 29, 2012

If you've been around my blog for a while — or at all, really — you'll know that I like'a the sex. Sex is good. But in saying that, I'm also not a skanked out slag that has no morals or tact; there is a time and place for everything, including porn . . .

When you are dining out in a restaurant is not one of those times!

Ooh, yes. While my good friend was waiting on a table of two moms with their children in tow, she overheard some strange moans coming from the next table, and more specifically from a 50-something man's smart phone. No headphones. Volume turned way up.

They were the sounds of a woman getting filled out like an application, if ya know what I mean - and I think you do. Are you fucking kidding me?

In a public place! Where people are trying to have a nice dinner! My friend, being both appalled and non-confrontational, asked one of the guys from the kitchen to have a word with the man. And here's where it gets even better, because when it was time for my friend to take their order, he had the nerve to complain to her about having been asked to turn off his device! She defended the request, mentioning that it wasn't exactly "appropriate content" for either the staff or other patrons to be overhearing.

And apparently, this guy was either the world's most pathetic liar, or was born yesterday . . . in a bubble, because his defense was, "I didn't know this type of material was on the internet!"

Yeah, right. Just like I had no idea how that bottle of Calvin Klein perfume appeared down my pants when I was fourteen.

Uuuuuuh huh.

So, really. If you know someone that cannot even go out to dinner without pondering ways to thicken their Alfredo sauce, then it might just be time for an intervention . . . or at the very least, please order take away from now on, for fuck's sake!

Ew.


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Completely unrelated!
I had the awesome pleasure in meeting 
Jenn from Fox in the City this weekend. 
Here's her take on how those shenanigans all went down.

(PS. That's totally my West Side gang sign.)



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14 comments:

  1. middle child said...:

    I will never look at Alfredo Sauce the same way again.

  1. I usually just keep the volume down and watch under the table.

  1. Lady Estrogen said...:

    At least you're considerate of others . . .

  1. Kristin @kdwald said...:

    Thicken their Alfredo sauce. Nice Godfather reference! ;)

  1. Fox in the City said...:

    And now I am ever so grateful that I no longer eat Alfredo sauce because I am not certain I could actually eat it anymore! ;) Also, just imagine if you have been there my dear Lady E . . . I think the verbal ass-kicking the guy would have gotten from you would have been spectacular!

    Also, love the photo, you and cannot wait to get together again!
    Jenn

  1. Carrie Rambles said...:

    Wow. After 15 years of working in a restaurant/bar, I saw some crazy shit, but that takes the cake.
    What the fuck is WRONG with people?

  1. holyhell said...:

    Have people forgotten what filthy toilet stalls and headphones are for?

    Bunch of savages in this town!

  1. Lady Estrogen said...:

    @Holyhell

    I fucking LOVE you for that Clerks reference . . . you know that, right? Truly and deeply.

  1. Azara said...:

    This made me laugh so hard I nearly peed myself. And then I read it to my husband who was appalled that anyone would even try to use such a stupid excuse. What a freak (and not in a good, fun way)!

  1. holyhell said...:

    The love is mutual, my dear Lady...I always have your back. ...And your side and some other choice locations as well.

    "Clerks" would easily make my top-ten movies of all time list, and I'm just happy you gave me an "in" to cite it.

    ~ Deacon Blue

  1. BNM said...:

    wow really I dont know if I would be irritated or wouldnt be able to control my laughter in that situation.

  1. Rebeka St John said...:

    holy mother of gawd!!!!!! good diet plan, though.

  1. There is porn on the internet?!??!?!!

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