(Alternate title: The Antibiotics Lament)
Please feel free to sing this to the tune of Sex on Fire by Kings of Leon. . .
Please feel free to sing this to the tune of Sex on Fire by Kings of Leon. . .
Ya know, if you want.
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It's like my vaj's dying
I hope no one's around
I shouldn't be scratchin'
But I'm scratchin'
Applying the lotion
The hubs wants to play
But I'm cock blockin'
Blockin'
Yaa-ho
My vaj is on fire
In the darkness of my valley
There'll be no foreplay
This yeast is thrivin'
It's thrivin'
I'm really hopin'
That Vagisil's on sale.
It feels like I'm dyin'
I'm dyin'
Yaa-ho
My vaj is on fire
Consumed
With an itch that is dire
Hot as a fever
Down in my zone
Don't taste it
What the fuck is wrong with you?
It's not forever
It's just my current plight
I just had the greatest,
The greatest. . .
Scratch of my life.
The greatest. . .
Scratch of my life.
Yaa-ho
My vaj is on fire
Yaa-ho
My vaj is on fire
Yaa-ho
My vaj is on fire
Consumed
With an itch that is dire
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I have also posted over at In The Powder Room! It's about trying to find gawd damn Wall.E toys in NYC (or anywhere other than eBay for that matter). Let's just say that it was good motherfucking times.
I have also posted over at In The Powder Room! It's about trying to find gawd damn Wall.E toys in NYC (or anywhere other than eBay for that matter). Let's just say that it was good motherfucking times.
You need a band and a record deal. You are a song writer. Who knew?
ReplyDeleteYogurt period. Never have another yeast infection from antibiotics again. Promise.
ReplyDelete@Angel
ReplyDeleteI've been eating probiotics like it's going outta style.
NOT HELPING :(
May the Cervixens never die!!!
ReplyDeleteI hope it's better soon. Ugh!
Oh my god . . . this post is all sorts of wrong!! Have you tried acidophilus? It is the good bacteria in a pill format. It might help save us from reading about your itchy neither regions . . . at least for a while! ;)
ReplyDeleteJenn
I've somehow lived my entire 32 years without knowing this pain. My mother swore by soaking a tampon (in applicator) in yogurt then freezing it...then inserting it. Everything about that sounds horrific to me but I've clued some friends in and they said it feels fantastic. Worth a try??
ReplyDeleteOMG...this made me laugh and cringe! love it! :)
ReplyDeleteGood Lord. Love it. You know I work at a radio station right? RUH ROH
ReplyDeleteOuch. Give up sugar, bread,all baked goods. And the frozen tamposicle sounds good.
ReplyDeleteOmg.. I've had one yeast infection ever and it was 29 yrs. ago when I was 3 months preg. with my oldest and it was hell! Great song!
ReplyDeleteoh my...the terrible thing is I will have this song in my head All Day Long! Except my version goes to the tune of "Cat Scratch Fever."
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for you and your itchy vaj. You probably don't want to hear that in 40 some years - never had one. I don't eat yogurt and I am a sugar whore.
I'll just smack myself and show myself out.
A clove of garlic. Peeled. For real.
ReplyDeleteAnd I really think you should do your own music video with this song. It would be way better than that one you used instead.
LOL # Brandon!
ReplyDeleteNaughty, naughty
ReplyDeleteTrying not to scratch as I type. Walking with an extra switch trying to get a mini-rub/scratch in BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK I'M ON FIRE! And the doctor. That bitch refuses to call in a prescription based on I'M ON FIRE. I just need that one pill to knock it right out but nooooooooooooo she needs to see me. THE FUCK FOR? I've had this cooch my whole life; I know when it's yeast (I also know when it's crabs, bitch, so just call in the script).
ReplyDelete@XLMIC: Eat the clove or stuff the clove, um, elsewhere? Also, to do a video she'd need her snatch to be shown and that there is porn. If she ain't getting paid porn money...never mind.
You ARE certifiable woman! But I love, love, love it!
ReplyDeleteThanks for being my HOOKER!
I've heard that making your own yogurt is pretty easy. No. Idea.
ReplyDelete