Feb 13, 2012

11 Blasted Questions

I said, I said, I said, gawd damn you, Leighann! In all honesty, I loved that she emailed me ahead of time and politely asked me to not hate her for what she was about to do. (Twisting imaginary handlebar mustache) We shall see, Leighann. Weeee shhhall seeeee.

So, here are my answers to that bloggy chain shit thing...

1. There are $3 cupcakes in the supermarket but you have everything to make them at home. What do you do?
Do I look like motherfucking Betty Crocker? I would buy the $3 ones, every time. Wait. Is that for a dozen,  or are they $3 each? Never mind. It just means I'd buy less, like one or two, instead of a dozen.

2. How many pairs of jeans do you own?
This is a bit of an open ended question. How many do I OWN? Probably about a dozen. How many don't fit? 8. How many have giant holes in the crotch? 3. So, that leaves one pair that are currently wearable and I can do up the fly without a pair of pliers.

3. Can you pass up a sale?
Depends on what the sale is for, but for the right thing? No. Sales are my kryptonite. I'll buy 3 things for $40 even if I didn't need any of those 3 items. I come by it honestly - it was passed down to me by my grandmother. My mother slowly shakes her head when the two of us 'sale whores' get together. I also used to use it to manipulate my grandmother last week when I was younger; if I wanted something, I would tell her it's on sale and I would get it almost every time.

4. When is the last time you stood up for a stranger?
I guess I'm a terrible person, because this one has got me stumped. I did, however, stand up to open the hood of my car last week. I helped a stranger boost his car. Does that count? I'm going to go ahead and say yes.

5. What is your pet peeve?
A. Blog chains.
B. Odd numbers
C. The fact that I'm having to pop zits on my face every night like I'm still 14. It's bad enough when it splats on the mirror, but when the pressure is so much that it rebounds back on to my face like banana cream pie? Yeah, that right there. Pet peeve.

6. What is your favourite quote and what does it mean to you?
"What you call insanity, I call inspiration." - Sue Sylvester 
I think it kind of sums me up quite successfully. It's also possibly the best thing that has ever come out of Glee among all those annoying douche muppets.

7. Have you ever had a speeding ticket? Did you try to shamelessly get out of it?
Here's the thing: I may or may not have received a speeding ticket in Upstate New York. The fact that I wasn't supposed to be in the U.S. makes it somewhat of a sticky situation. I will never confirm or deny the truth. Nor will I ever admit to being so nervous that I almost vomited all over the possibly hypothetical State Trooper. Ahem.

8. What fashion DON’Ts did you participate in and STILL secretly love?
I love my Crocs. Fuck you. And you. And you too! Come to think about it, their soles are wearing a bit thin. I need to get a new pair shortly. Maybe I'll photo journal the entire fashion crime in progress. Yeah, baby!

9. How many keys are on your key ring?
I have a lanyard that holds my house key, mail key, car key... and a USB stick. I never leave home without one of those - like a true nerd.

10. Why do you blog?
Because I'm a narcissist that is losing my mind. I thought it would be good to write down all the skanky things I've done before I forget it all. What I never expected is the sense of community and support among other bloggers. This was truly a pleasant and, as it turns out, much needed surprise.

11. What is your sign and do you fit its description?
Seriously? It's a real shocker. I'll let you be the judge:

You have a strong sense of righteousness and are upright, courageous and ambitious. You enjoy a very high stamina. Your arresting personality and jovial nature enhance your popularity. High impacting individual, determined and proud you put across your views and ideas confidently and with an air of authority. Blessed with leadership qualities, you have a strong urge for success and recognition. You tend to put your relationships on high pedestals which makes it easier for loved ones to disappoint you when they fall off. You tend to dominate others with your magnetism and can be haughty, impatient and egoistic.

Yeah, all that and a bottle of lube.

Anyhoozle. Going back to my answer for #5, these chains are totally one of my pet peeves. In fact, last year, I created the STD Award in honor of my hatred for them. I will not be passing this particular one on to anyone. Suck it (I think everyone's got it anyway). BUT, if you haven't got an STD from me and you want one, I am totally willing to pass that on. All you have to do is ask... and come unprotected, of course.


  1. 5C & 8


    *Starts to back away slowly*

    I, uh, gotta, um...


    *Sprints away in horror*

  2. I fucking love you! Your answers are brilliant and you never fail to make me laugh! Puhleeeze do me one favor...get rid of the motherfuggin crocs!!!!! Lmao xo

  3. @Lost
    You've done much worse. Do we really need to keep score? Lol

    Thanks! Does it help at all that I mostly never leave the house with them. MAYBE to walk the dog in the summer, but that's it ;)

  4. Nerd.
    I love you for answering these!
    You're fabulous and in glad you have zits.
    Why does this happen??

    I had to wear crocks when I was dress shopping cause we couldn't wear outside footwear and those bastards are comfy.

  5. Isn't being a narcissist a prerequisite for being a blogger?

  6. @vinobaby
    Of course, but I think some bloggers are in denial. I like to embrace my narcissism.

    Yes! They are damn comfy!!

  7. Crocs . . . *shudder*

    Sadly, I am with you about the whole zit thing. Seriously, what did I do in another life to piss of karma so much that I am currently fighting zits and wrinkles.

  8. Pure comedy, and it comes from truth. Love it!

  9. Im the same way, if I see a sale I cant pass it up. Even if its shit I dont need. lol.

  10. ohmygodyouranswersaresoawesome!

    This list is everywhere, even I got suckered into doing it. Yours is my favorite.

  11. Sorry! Can't help Mom gave me the better genes! Never had much problem with my skin...I don't know why. It's really weird like that. I'm rather moley if that makes u feel better...go ahead, do the Austin Powers thing. "Moley moley moley moley moley!"

  12. Crocs?

    I am shaking my head at you.

    As I was reading your horoscope and thinking about your recently passed birthday, I thought to myself, "wouldn't it be funny if we were the same sign...."

    Yup.....pass that bottle of lube on this way, please!

  13. You seem more of a Birkenstock chick to me but anyway..I'm not one to judge

  14. I love my crocs too. Everyone else can suck it.

  15. Love your honesty and that you even answered the questions! (I've only commented here like one other time, but I swear I've been paying attening...mostly.)

  16. @Just Jennifer

    That's cool. Even half paying attention is more than I ever did in University. All 6 years. Wait, whut?

    @Not Blessed Mama

    Solidarity, sista!

  17. I'm a sales whore too, it is brutal. I also feel guilty about letting coupons expire.

    Jeans--I own forty eleven pairs and wear 3.

  18. I get that you hate this - and I hate them, too - but I love getting to know you.


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