I'm having Gerard Butler's love child. It's OK. My husband knows and he's agreed to raise it as his own. Isn't that amazing of him?
Okay, so I'm kind of joking. I bet y'all were totally fooled, RIGHT? Ahem.
But, there is some truth to my bullshit.
I'm having baby number three.
Hold me.
It's been a bumpy ride so far; pregnancy sucks, yo.
I shall leave you with the words of my beloved grandmother when I told her the news:
"You're pregnant? Well, that's what happens when you let him stick his dick in you."
You think I'm kidding, but I'm totally not.
Oooh. And by the way, you're a fan of my granny, you can follow her on Twitter to hear all her other gems. *wink wink*
Good times.
Fuck.
It isn't mine. So don't look at me.
ReplyDeleteBonus babies are bonus the fun! xoxoxoxo Lady E. Way to 'slip' this in here on a late Sunday holiday- no worries- I'll be sure to share it.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations :) x
ReplyDeleteBWhahaha ok I followed her and congrats on the baby.
ReplyDelete@Brandon
ReplyDeleteAwe. Well, if it WAS yours, it'd be cuter than Gerard's, I'm sure of it :)
Congratulations, Lady E!!!!!
ReplyDeleteSo happy for YOU! Happier still that it isn't me...
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!!
ReplyDeleteNow I can offically say congratulations! You and Gerard sure do make a beautiful baby.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!!!!
ReplyDeleteWoo hoo! Congrats!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteJust think of all the blog fodder this will give you. HA!!!
Take care! xo
Since today is April 1st I have to wait until tomorrow to actually say congratulations. Everything announced on this date I assume is fake. Which was really unfortunate when my bestie's grandfather died on April 1st a few years ago.
ReplyDelete@Katsidhe
ReplyDeleteOoh, I just laughed at that. Terrible. So sad & awkward.
My pregnancy is real. That it's Gerard Butler's baby is false . . . sadly. lol
Congrats!
ReplyDeleteI could have used your grandmother's gentle sense of how the world works growing up. Instead all I got was a book from my Dad with black and white line art that showed where I could expect hair and other sorts of things I had already learned.
ReplyDelete@Roger
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you feel any better, her son (my father) still didn't know where babies came from when he was 18 years old. He wasn't even given a book; he was just told that when a married couple wants a baby, they pray to God and then they will get one if they deserve it.
I guess her new honest take has come through with age . . . ? Ahem.
I wish your grandma was my grandma.
ReplyDeleteJeez. I can't believe I totally missed this. So it's really true and not an April Fool then?
ReplyDeleteCongrats - you crazy fool!
p.s. I think I love your grandmother
Yay!!! Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteOh, my LORD!!! Congratulations! And also, bahahahahaha~!
ReplyDeleteOk well firstly, congratulations or commiserations, whichever but eventually you'll love this baby nugget you're making... second of all your "granny " is a very wise woman... Listen to her and thirdly, I'm now following her and heeding her advice..take of that what you will :)
ReplyDeleteI'm just glad it isn't purple
ReplyDeleteI'm just seeing this now...CONGRATULATIONS SWEETIE!!!!!
ReplyDeletekAREN
I'm so way behind - totally missed this! And boy am I glad I didn't miss anything else for several months. Not that I'm not THRILLED for you! But three is definitely not MY magic number.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I should just stick with OMG! Congratulations!