Every year one after another of unsuspecting toddlers line up to sit on Santa’s lap in the mall or at an office Christmas party, only to burst into hysterics and wriggling fits of terror. Why do parents put them through that? Because it’s Santa Claus, god dammit! He’s friggin’ jolly and all that other shit!
It mystifies me how so many people insist on placing their traumatized child on his lap, even though they really don’t even quite get the whole notion of Christmas anyway. Both of my sons enjoy reading about him and they have just learned to say his name, but at our first attempt at approaching him, they both were NOT cool with it – and that was fine! It's not worth the nightmares. We didn’t force the issue; they preferred to admire him from afar.
What would have been the point of trying to get them to sit with Santa anyway? So we could get a photo like this?
Classic. This is my little brother, circa 1988. The funniest part of this photo is that Santa is, in fact, our grandfather. He was the BEST Santa ever – every other Santa since him pales in comparison. It took my brother a few more years before he pieced the two together, despite incessant hint dropping.
Regardless of whether Santa is your grandpa or not, if you think about it… to a 3 year old, he is a very scary dude.