Mark and I had been having brief encounters for the better part of a decade, off and on. Perhaps it was because there was no continuous affair as to why our 'Friends with Benefits' arrangement always worked so successfully. There was never any emotional attachment beyond our friendship, nor was there any jealously when one of us entered into a relationship with someone else. We just stopped having sex for that length of time and then when said relationship ended, it was understood that our sex would reconvene.
And so it was also understood among our other mutual friends that we had this special 'arrangement' but it was never acknowledged out loud or a part of any passing conversation, et cetera... until one Christmas. At this particular point in time, Mark and I hadn't had sex with each other for quite some time - I cannot remember if there was a particular reason or just because I lived a fair distance from him.
It was a party celebrating both my best friend's birthday and Christmas, at her parent's house. (Another sucker with a birthday too close to Christmas to separate the two) We had all been dipping into the Christmas cheer that night and things were winding down. There was about six of us remaining and it was decided to commence a card game of alcoholic Asshole.
Mark was sitting beside me, and therefore following after any card I would lay down before him. After a few rounds, I put down a hell of a cruel move (like an Ace on a Nine or something like that), to which Mark flared his nostrils, turned to me and said, "YOU'VE JUST FUCKED ME!"
Another one of our tipsy friends immediately replied, "Tell us something we don't know!"
There was about 2 long seconds of complete silence.
And then roaring laughter. From everyone, including Mark and myself. Finally it was out in the open, and it only took 7 years.
Perhaps it was that burst of comical tension release, but after another group had left, Mark and I decided we were "too drunk" to go home. My best friend crashed in her old room upstairs and Mark and I had the basement rec room to ourselves.
I need to also explain that although Mark and I had had sex on numerous occasions, I had never climaxed. As I've said before, it wasn't easy for me in the past (until this year, actually. Ahem), and most of the times were just hot quickie fucks after a party; sometimes in the forest.
OK, so this time? After carefully clearing a spot on the carpet to lay down a few layers of blankets, he went down on me like a starving animal. It was fan-fucking-tastic, and nothing like he'd done to me before. Wild. At one point, I could have sworn I felt his tongue tickling the bottom of my rib cage! The only shitty thing was the fact that my best friend's parents were asleep upstairs and I didn't exactly want them (or my friend, for that matter) to hear me screaming. He put his hand over my mouth while I proceeded to achieve a HUGE orgasm while doing my best to stay quiet.
It was the first time he'd got me to climax in 7 years. And it was the last time we would ever be together.
I met and started dating my would-be husband 3 weeks later.
Well, Mark, we'll always have Christmas. Or rather, the weekend before.
Same diff.
Showing posts with label Mark. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mark. Show all posts
Dec 23, 2011
Jan 24, 2011
Nothing Says Happy Birthday like Mushroom Cookies
For my 'big' 21st birthday, my university roommates threw me one of their legendary parties. I say 'big' with a hint of sarcasm because even though turning 21 in Canada doesn't mean shit, we celebrate the U.S. tradition and for some reason, 21 is therefore a big deal to us as well. I never really got it - it's not even an even number - jeez! (Read about My O.C.D. to get that joke) Regardless, I was getting a big 21st send off.
Their parties were awesome because they were usually themed parties and surprisingly, I would say 95% of guests complied with the alloted theme. I was amazed at the effort that had gone in to some of the costumes, even from the "too cool for school" type of guys. The question was what theme to have for MY party? Meh. What does Stephanie like... that we haven't already done... it was tough, and then we got it - Mushrooms! It was true, I was a massive mushroom fan. So instead of a costume party where everyone got drunk, they could wear what they wanted and hallucinate their asses off instead. We thought that adding a funky costume element with props and bright colours might pose as a serious "bad trip" risk, so no costumes.
Since I lived with a drug dealer, even offering to pitch in financially for 'the goodies' was fruitless. Having one roommate that dealt and the other that loved to bake yielded the result of some super bad ass mushroom cookies. In true form, we whipped up a few batches of weed cookies too. Eat your fucking heart out Martha! They were fantastic. The problem was NOT to eat too many. One. Two. Three TOPS. And then you would be flying happy and free.
I had invited Mark to the party, to which our very successful 'friends with benefits' arrangement was going strong. He had been up to visit me a few times for a roll in the sack, so most people knew him already.
Mark - never - did - drugs - for - a - reason.
The party was in full swing and it was packed. Living in a dealer's house sure made one popular, but I wasn't complaining. It was a great night and the buzz from the mushroom cookies was less intense that having them straight, which was a good thing considering I had to be somewhat sociable at this party. It was like a slightly stronger body buzz than one would get from say, hash brownies; I was lovin' it.
My eye caught Mark scarfing down some cookies. I pushed my way over to him and he was laughing. Through a mouthful of cookie, he mumbled, "I think I'll be fine since they're in food... totally, ya, I'll be fine!" I quickly replied, "How many have you had?" "I dunno. A couple of these and 5 or 6 of those other ones. They're awesome!" He pointed over towards the weed cookies; I told him he was screwed. I shook my head and walked away - but I needed to keep slight tabs on him since I would be requiring his washboard stomach and penis later on that night.
About an hour later, a girl came up to me and with an awkward smile, she said, "I think your boyfriend is dead." So I knew it wasn't serious, but I followed her to the bottom of the stairs and there was Mark - lying belly up on the middle landing with his head handing over the top stair. He actually did look dead, apart from the incessant snoring that his mouth was producing. He was 100% KO'ed and it took 2 other guys to peel him off the floor and into my bedroom. Years after that night, people would still ask me how the "Man of Death" was doing, and I knew exactly who they were talking about.
Considering the fact that we were just friends, I couldn't really get mad at him; he was just an idiot that night. Needless to say, I didn't get my Mushroom Birthday Sex that I was so looking forward to, but he did make it up to me... eventually ;)
Their parties were awesome because they were usually themed parties and surprisingly, I would say 95% of guests complied with the alloted theme. I was amazed at the effort that had gone in to some of the costumes, even from the "too cool for school" type of guys. The question was what theme to have for MY party? Meh. What does Stephanie like... that we haven't already done... it was tough, and then we got it - Mushrooms! It was true, I was a massive mushroom fan. So instead of a costume party where everyone got drunk, they could wear what they wanted and hallucinate their asses off instead. We thought that adding a funky costume element with props and bright colours might pose as a serious "bad trip" risk, so no costumes.
I had invited Mark to the party, to which our very successful 'friends with benefits' arrangement was going strong. He had been up to visit me a few times for a roll in the sack, so most people knew him already.
Mark - never - did - drugs - for - a - reason.
The party was in full swing and it was packed. Living in a dealer's house sure made one popular, but I wasn't complaining. It was a great night and the buzz from the mushroom cookies was less intense that having them straight, which was a good thing considering I had to be somewhat sociable at this party. It was like a slightly stronger body buzz than one would get from say, hash brownies; I was lovin' it.
My eye caught Mark scarfing down some cookies. I pushed my way over to him and he was laughing. Through a mouthful of cookie, he mumbled, "I think I'll be fine since they're in food... totally, ya, I'll be fine!" I quickly replied, "How many have you had?" "I dunno. A couple of these and 5 or 6 of those other ones. They're awesome!" He pointed over towards the weed cookies; I told him he was screwed. I shook my head and walked away - but I needed to keep slight tabs on him since I would be requiring his washboard stomach and penis later on that night.
About an hour later, a girl came up to me and with an awkward smile, she said, "I think your boyfriend is dead." So I knew it wasn't serious, but I followed her to the bottom of the stairs and there was Mark - lying belly up on the middle landing with his head handing over the top stair. He actually did look dead, apart from the incessant snoring that his mouth was producing. He was 100% KO'ed and it took 2 other guys to peel him off the floor and into my bedroom. Years after that night, people would still ask me how the "Man of Death" was doing, and I knew exactly who they were talking about.
Considering the fact that we were just friends, I couldn't really get mad at him; he was just an idiot that night. Needless to say, I didn't get my Mushroom Birthday Sex that I was so looking forward to, but he did make it up to me... eventually ;)
Mar 20, 2010
Friends with Benefits
Most people will say that the concept of `Friends with Benefits’ is nothing but a myth. This is not true; it is actually possible, however rare, like an exotic endangered animal. There are 2 main reasons why this arrangement fails time and time again. Firstly, one of the 2 people involved develops feelings for the other during their pleasure games (which is not always the girl, but usually). Secondly, one of the two lied from the beginning and secretly harboured feelings for the other (which is unfortunately most always the girl), and then the poor guy wouldn't know what hit him when she brought hell’s fury down upon him when he didn’t return the affection. He would look like a retarded deer in headlights when he rebutted, “Buuuuut, I thought it was just going to be a casual thing?”
I was able to have a successful ‘Friends with Benefits’ arrangement with a close friend of mine during the summer of our final year in high school (and it continued off and on for about 6 years). It began at a graduation party at one of the more well-off students at our school. There was an in-door pool, sauna, hot tub and a couple acres of land and forest. Most of our close friends weren’t there – it was just myself and Mark, which wasn’t unique; we were very good friends. We ended up being the only 2 in the hot tub and were exchanging harmless sexual innuendos and banter, which was entirely normal for us... until I responded to one of his insults with the very original, “Screw You!” He laughed for a second and then stopped abruptly. While still smiling, he replied, “Alright.”
“Alright what?”
“Screw me.”
“Huh?”
“You heard me! Let’s do it.”
I scrunched up my face like I had an itchy nose, contemplating his proposition. I never thought of him like that, although I was not totally oblivious to the fact that he had a fantastically fit body. I continued to question, “What? Right now? Here?”
“Sure! Why not? We’re both single.”
“Well, since you put it that way!” And we jumped out of the hot tub. He ran to his car for a second to get a couple of condoms. It didn’t surprise me at all that he had a ready supply. There were a lot of people doing their own things at the party and no one noticed the two of us head off into the woods. We chose the least horrible spot that we could find in the dark and laid a beach towel on the ground. Only flickers from the distant bonfire were giving us any light at all.
There is one thing that I need to mention about the great Canadian woodlands...it is always fully stocked with mosquitoes...and they LOVE me. I was wearing a one-piece bathing suit, so in order to engage in some sexual liaisons, I had to get totally naked; Mark was at least able to keep his top on. My holiest of bits were on display for all the little blood-sucking insects to see. We managed to have a great little quickie that night. It was fun and fast, mainly because it wasn’t exactly the ideal setting for a slow, comfortable screw. There was no cuddling after what we had just done, nor was there any awkwardness. It was all good! We were both honest and straight forward and we knew exactly what we meant to each other – ONLY FRIENDS... and after that night...WITH BENEFITS! Yahoo!
I did end up paying for it the next morning, however. I had a giant bruise across almost the entire height of my back, vaguely outlining the shape of a branch (or something similar that must have been on the ground under the beach towel). It ached – but was actually the least of my woes. I had no less than 30 mosquito bites. I was used to getting them on my arms and legs, but this time they were all over my entire body! The sex was fun, but there was nothing more uncomfortable than a half dozen giant itchy mosquito bites wedged up high between my butt cheeks, that was for certain!
I was able to have a successful ‘Friends with Benefits’ arrangement with a close friend of mine during the summer of our final year in high school (and it continued off and on for about 6 years). It began at a graduation party at one of the more well-off students at our school. There was an in-door pool, sauna, hot tub and a couple acres of land and forest. Most of our close friends weren’t there – it was just myself and Mark, which wasn’t unique; we were very good friends. We ended up being the only 2 in the hot tub and were exchanging harmless sexual innuendos and banter, which was entirely normal for us... until I responded to one of his insults with the very original, “Screw You!” He laughed for a second and then stopped abruptly. While still smiling, he replied, “Alright.”
“Alright what?”
“Screw me.”
“Huh?”
“You heard me! Let’s do it.”
I scrunched up my face like I had an itchy nose, contemplating his proposition. I never thought of him like that, although I was not totally oblivious to the fact that he had a fantastically fit body. I continued to question, “What? Right now? Here?”
“Sure! Why not? We’re both single.”
“Well, since you put it that way!” And we jumped out of the hot tub. He ran to his car for a second to get a couple of condoms. It didn’t surprise me at all that he had a ready supply. There were a lot of people doing their own things at the party and no one noticed the two of us head off into the woods. We chose the least horrible spot that we could find in the dark and laid a beach towel on the ground. Only flickers from the distant bonfire were giving us any light at all.
There is one thing that I need to mention about the great Canadian woodlands...it is always fully stocked with mosquitoes...and they LOVE me. I was wearing a one-piece bathing suit, so in order to engage in some sexual liaisons, I had to get totally naked; Mark was at least able to keep his top on. My holiest of bits were on display for all the little blood-sucking insects to see. We managed to have a great little quickie that night. It was fun and fast, mainly because it wasn’t exactly the ideal setting for a slow, comfortable screw. There was no cuddling after what we had just done, nor was there any awkwardness. It was all good! We were both honest and straight forward and we knew exactly what we meant to each other – ONLY FRIENDS... and after that night...WITH BENEFITS! Yahoo!
I did end up paying for it the next morning, however. I had a giant bruise across almost the entire height of my back, vaguely outlining the shape of a branch (or something similar that must have been on the ground under the beach towel). It ached – but was actually the least of my woes. I had no less than 30 mosquito bites. I was used to getting them on my arms and legs, but this time they were all over my entire body! The sex was fun, but there was nothing more uncomfortable than a half dozen giant itchy mosquito bites wedged up high between my butt cheeks, that was for certain!
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