Mar 20, 2010

Friends with Benefits

Most people will say that the concept of `Friends with Benefits’ is nothing but a myth. This is not true; it is actually possible, however rare, like an exotic endangered animal. There are 2 main reasons why this arrangement fails time and time again. Firstly, one of the 2 people involved develops feelings for the other during their pleasure games (which is not always the girl, but usually). Secondly, one of the two lied from the beginning and secretly harboured feelings for the other (which is unfortunately most always the girl), and then the poor guy wouldn't know what hit him when she brought hell’s fury down upon him when he didn’t return the affection. He would look like a retarded deer in headlights when he rebutted, “Buuuuut, I thought it was just going to be a casual thing?”

I was able to have a successful ‘Friends with Benefits’ arrangement with a close friend of mine during the summer of our final year in high school (and it continued off and on for about 6 years). It began at a graduation party at one of the more well-off students at our school. There was an in-door pool, sauna, hot tub and a couple acres of land and forest. Most of our close friends weren’t there – it was just myself and Mark, which wasn’t unique; we were very good friends. We ended up being the only 2 in the hot tub and were exchanging harmless sexual innuendos and banter, which was entirely normal for us... until I responded to one of his insults with the very original, “Screw You!” He laughed for a second and then stopped abruptly. While still smiling, he replied, “Alright.”

“Alright what?”

“Screw me.”


“You heard me! Let’s do it.”

I scrunched up my face like I had an itchy nose, contemplating his proposition. I never thought of him like that, although I was not totally oblivious to the fact that he had a fantastically fit body. I continued to question, “What? Right now? Here?”

“Sure! Why not? We’re both single.”

“Well, since you put it that way!” And we jumped out of the hot tub. He ran to his car for a second to get a couple of condoms. It didn’t surprise me at all that he had a ready supply. There were a lot of people doing their own things at the party and no one noticed the two of us head off into the woods. We chose the least horrible spot that we could find in the dark and laid a beach towel on the ground. Only flickers from the distant bonfire were giving us any light at all.

There is one thing that I need to mention about the great Canadian is always fully stocked with mosquitoes...and they LOVE me. I was wearing a one-piece bathing suit, so in order to engage in some sexual liaisons, I had to get totally naked; Mark was at least able to keep his top on. My holiest of bits were on display for all the little blood-sucking insects to see. We managed to have a great little quickie that night. It was fun and fast, mainly because it wasn’t exactly the ideal setting for a slow, comfortable screw. There was no cuddling after what we had just done, nor was there any awkwardness. It was all good! We were both honest and straight forward and we knew exactly what we meant to each other – ONLY FRIENDS... and after that night...WITH BENEFITS! Yahoo!

I did end up paying for it the next morning, however. I had a giant bruise across almost the entire height of my back, vaguely outlining the shape of a branch (or something similar that must have been on the ground under the beach towel). It ached – but was actually the least of my woes. I had no less than 30 mosquito bites. I was used to getting them on my arms and legs, but this time they were all over my entire body! The sex was fun, but there was nothing more uncomfortable than a half dozen giant itchy mosquito bites wedged up high between my butt cheeks, that was for certain!


  1. Oooo... from one mosquito loved Canadian to another - I love this story! :)

  2. there are 2 more reasons y even good sex with benefits deals can fizzle. either one person becomes less attractive after a few years and its not fun for the other any more, OR one person ends up getting into a relationship and cant do it anymore. u sound like u know the deal tho so i applaud u for making it work while you could. i had one end for the first reason i mentioned earlier (sure that may make me shallow but if ur having casual sex i think looks are important) and then i had a second one that has been on and off depending on the second reason i mentioned. sometimes i worry that if the other person never dates im somehow hurting them by continuing the casual sex, but its not really my place to worry about someones personal life development in the FWB deal, thats one of the reasons its so low-stress. and thank gosh for that.

    Good blog and I will be back.

  3. Thanks!
    And I agree with you on both accounts.
    Our arrangement carried over 6 years or so, but not continuously - because one of us would start a relationship with someone else. The minute those ended though, we were right back on the horse. lol.

  4. Ha ha! I ended up marrying my fuck buddy. We shook on "friends with benefits". Then we became best friends and got hitched two years later. How ya like them corny-ass apples? It's been a fantastic 13 years!

  5. @Jenbugblogs

    Haha, nice!
    We were each other's "back up plan" but I got married and ruined everything. He's still single though. *dials number*


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