Sep 9, 2013

Push it or not to push it

Here's a little song I've been singing to myself ever since I was told last week there's a good chance I could deliver this baby "naturally". I'm experiencing intense mixed emotions, for sure. Eik. Sing along, if you like -- I'm pretty sure you all know it :)

Ah, push it
Ah, push it

Oooh, baby, baby
A 9lb baby?!

The vaginal abyss!

Ow! Baby!
The decision's here!

[Now wait a minute, y'all
This pushin’ ain't for everybody
Only the flexi people
So all you fly mothers, get on out there and push
PUSH, I said!]

The decision's here, and the doc
Wants me to push it, babe
Always thought I’d get another C, so it’s a shock
The recovery time’s better, that we all know
But I didn’t overly want my hairy vaj to be put on show
To push it

Ah, push it - push it good
Ah, push it - push it real good

Hey! Ow!
Drugs are good!

Oooh, baby, baby
A 9lb baby?!

Yo, yo, yo, yo, baby-pop
Yeah, you -- don’t gimme a kiss
Better get me the drugs or else I'm gonna get pissed
Can't handle the thought of poopin’ too, like I know I could.
Don’t push it…

Or push it good
P-push it real good

Oh, shit.
The vaginal abyss!

Boy, you’re now gettin’ the snip
If I have to experience my lady bits rip.

Ah, push it.


  1. Okay, this just made me snicker! I say go for it but my lady bits have already been through that hell and back . . . sort of . . . twice before. ;)

  2. You can do it! Do it real good!
    10lb veteran here.... take the drugs, ALL of them.

  3. My Turkey Purse was shattered twice...

  4. I heart you, but also hate you a little for getting this song stuck in my head. The only consolation is that I will never have to push something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a pear. Good luck with that!

  5. I think I need to take a shot of something harder than the Emergen-C drink in my hand currently before reading about lady parts ripping! ha! Good luck and pump those drugs!!!

  6. I had my first as a C-section and hope to have the next one naturally (with no medicine). Please share your experience! And good luck : )

    Make sure to have your hubby sing you this song and maybe natural birth will be a lot easier.

  7. Hahahaha! I have to pass this on to my daughter. She due to "push it" in November. :)

  8. Momma you got this I promise.. As a woman who pushed out 3 with no drugs at any point. If you can make it to transition you and in the downward slide and at that point drugs are a waste. and Yeah I had a 9 lber he was the easiest of the 3..

  9. You know how everyone says that bullshit about forgetting all the pain of labor as soon as you see your baby?

    It's like that for the pooping, the ripping and the pushing. Except it's more like you don't give a shit about any of it as soon as you get an epidural and and any shit you do have left to give is an after thought as you struggle to not pass the fuck out while the doctor pushes you to, well, push.

    And then the doctor says, as he's checking you out, "Oh, look! You gave yourself an epidural!" And you're all, "Fuck off! Get your fingers out of my ass!"


    PS: Take the spray bottle. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TAKE THE SPRAY BOTTLE!!

  10. @Rebecca


  11. The recovery may be longer with a c-section but at least you don't end up with a fanny like a bin lid ;)

  12. @Heather

    I know!! There's pros and cons for both, for sure.

    I'm torn...


  13. OMG, I'm DYING!!! For whatever reason, your posts are emailed to me a day late (weird?) so I had no idea what you were talking about yesterday. HA!

    So, I was in labor for 36+ hours, and I can tell you that the idea of going through childbirth again doesn't scare me. Okay, it does a little, but if I ever do it again, I would totally opt to go natural. As long as there are drugs, of course. :) The anesthesiologist (did I spell that right? I'm too tired to check...) followed me to my room when I was admitted, and within seconds of having the epidural, the pain was GONE.

    I'm obviously pro-drugs. HA!

  14. Best. Thing. Ever. I actually have this song on my playlist. I am totally going to sing your version from now on. Good luck pushin it!. Hope your vagina doesn't rip too much.

  15. I love your blog


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