Aug 16, 2012

Colour Me Kilted

This past weekend was the Highland Games in my wee little town, and do you know what that means? Lots and lots of men wearing kilts. More kilts than I'd ever seen at one time, and that's speaking from someone who's lived in Scotland! (Many Scotsmen that I know actually find kilts vulgar and cliché, including my grandfather and father-in-law.) But since I'm not a Scot or a man, I say bring it on!

It reminds me of this time in high school: We had one particular friend in our group that was good looking. Well, that's putting it lightly - he was fucking stunning. He looked a lot like Brad Pitt, but without the "I've been beaten to a pulp numerous times" look. I cannot deny that being arm-in-arm with him at a bar made me feel like hot shit as women would approach him to ask for his autograph, thinking that he actually was Brad (yes, that happened.. twice).

He was a genuinely nice guy too, which just made him more desirable. Friendly, artistic, smart, funny and musical. What can I say, he made my brain soft. It was around the same time in my life when I had to start wearing pantiliners that I also sat next to him everyday in Art class. Coincidence? Doubtful. Ahem.  He didn't seem to affect my other friends as deeply as he did me, (perhaps because they had been going to school with him for a lot longer than myself) but for whatever the reason, I learned to keep my cool around him for the most part...

Until the day he wore a kilt.

He showed up to school in a plain white t-shirt, black Doc Martens and a Macgregor kilt. It was definitely not a fashion statement that was seen every day in 1996 and I doubt anyone but him could have pulled it off without being made a laughing stock. He was already known for his eccentricities, in addition to his alarmingly good looks, so this hardly got more than a few double takes.

In the middle of the main foyer, crammed with approximately 100 other students all rushing to their respective classes, I snuck up behind him and lifted up the back of his kilt.

Beautiful. Bare. Ass.

He wasn't even startled. He slowly turned around, smiled at my flaming beet-red face and laughed, "You look surprised. Commando's the only way to wear a kilt, darling."

In-fucking-deed.

Sadly, that glorious two seconds would be the one and only time I would get a glance at that man's under carriage, so to speak. Hindsight is painfully 20/20 because if I had known that, and however much I really do appreciate a nice ass, I wish I had lifted up the front.

Instead, I'll just hold on to that regret thought and masturbate to this photo...



19 comments:

  1. Haha! I love a man that can pull off a kilt. Also, one who'd let me pull one off of him!

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  2. Mmmm, men in kilts!

    I travelled up from Wiltshire to the Highland games one year in a mini bus with a tug-o-war team - 12 hours each way with a group of sweaty men, hell of an experience, probably worthy of a post of its own. We camped on the golf course - you live in a beautiful place!

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  3. OH don't ya hate hindsights way of kicking your ass for bad choices. Damn tormenting tease..

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  4. Mmmmmm Highland Games........Yum!

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  5. I need to get my husband a kilt! Lol

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  6. Can you believe my hubs does have a kilt but hasn't let me play dirty with it? It's a crime, I tell you... A CRIME.

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  7. Renaissance Festival starts this weekend in MN...and my husband wears a kilt for the whole run. Sigh. EXCELLENT. The generally bad Scottish and Irish accents is remedied by various good looking men in kilts.

    Except he works security, and the security boys all break the commando rule (apparently the potential of running after a misbehaving drunk with their bits flapping about is unappealing to security).

    Also, Gerard Butler...YUM.

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  8. Clearly I haven't had enough coffee yet when I catch my own crappy grammar mistakes. "bad Scottish and Irish accents ARE remedied..." Sigh. ;)

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  9. Men in kilts for woman is like bare boobies to men it's just like hello can we please get naked. Speaking of which how did you not get naked with him? omg you so should have. I'm going to think dirty Scotsman thoughts now

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  10. OMG. I totally remember. You have an incredible memory. He did look like Brad Pitt. He even had a hat or a t-shirt that said, Yes, I am Brad Pitt if I recall correctly. There aren't too many highschool memories I'd like to remember but this one was a good one. Ahhh, men in kilts. xoxox c.

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  11. Bahaha! YES, HE DID HAVE THAT T-SHIRT. xx

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  12. WHOA. My husband is from Fergus. WHOA........!

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  13. Damn I've always wanted to wear a kilt. lol.

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  14. @Zombie

    DO IT. They're so ridiculously hot :)

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  15. Nothing about picturing a man's ball sack under a kilt makes me horny.
    Love you Perv.

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  16. Just think, that if I did that I could be hit with a sexual harassment lawsuit.

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  17. Oh,my gosh laughing,laughing so hard.

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  18. @T. Roger Thomas

    Yes, I'm happy to say that in this case, I LOVE a good double standard. Sorry!

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