Dec 8, 2010

Santa’s a scary dude.

Every year one after another of unsuspecting toddlers line up to sit on Santa’s lap in the mall or at an office Christmas party, only to burst into hysterics and wriggling fits of terror. Why do parents put them through that? Because it’s Santa Claus, god dammit! He’s friggin’ jolly and all that other shit!

It mystifies me how so many people insist on placing their traumatized child on his lap, even though they really don’t even quite get the whole notion of Christmas anyway. Both of my sons enjoy reading about him and they have just learned to say his name, but at our first attempt at approaching him, they both were NOT cool with it – and that was fine! It's not worth the nightmares. We didn’t force the issue; they preferred to admire him from afar.

What would have been the point of trying to get them to sit with Santa anyway? So we could get a photo like this?

Classic. This is my little brother, circa 1988. The funniest part of this photo is that Santa is, in fact, our grandfather. He was the BEST Santa ever – every other Santa since him pales in comparison. It took my brother a few more years before he pieced the two together, despite incessant hint dropping.

Regardless of whether Santa is your grandpa or not, if you think about it… to a 3 year old, he is a very scary dude.


  1. I never understood that either! I try to avoid the mall during the day in December cuz of all the kids freaking out on Santa echo throughout the entire building. lol.

  2. That is funny. Love the retro pic ;)

  3. This is funny! I took my son to see santa at the mall the other day, and he was hesitantly excited. I HOWEVER know what the scene is likely to degenerate into. Let's just say I wasn't too disappointed to find that Santa was away on his coffee break. I think that we will also be enjoying St Nic from afar at the parade :)

  4. I am lucky, my son loves Santa and we have had a successful picture three years in a row! Hopefully the success will continue this year, we haven't been to the mall yet, but I am keeping my fingers crossed. :)

  5. I wish more Santa's looked like him :) I miss this part of Christmas now my son is older.

    Fortunately he was never phased by the man in the red suit, even at 3. I just had the other problem - I couldn't get him to leave :)

  6. We're Jewish, but my best friend is Christian and adores all things Christmas so I took the kids one year for a picture. It was a nightmare-- I don't know how you people do it!

  7. I cringe when I see those pictures. My niece posted one of her screaming baby in Santa's lap just the other day. I refrained from saying what I thought. ;) When my first was 11 months old we went to Disneyland and I thought I'd get a picture of him with Santa there. It was quickly apparent that he wasn't having any part of it so the picture is of me sitting in Santa's lap with Chris in my lap. That was the last time we attempted Santa photos.

  8. LOL! Well said! I totally get what you're saying - we dont make our kids do it, never have. But that picture? It might be worth it! Just kidding! :)

    I'm now following you through the Say Hi Sunday Blog Hop. I hope you'll do the same! You can find me @

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  9. OMG lol that is too funny!! My son had the same reaction with Santa this year, he's 17 months old.

    I'm a new fololwer. Nice to "meet" you! Hope you stop by my blog sometime soon. :)

    ~Sabrina from

  10. Your poor little brother!

    Thanks for joining Say Hi Sunday and posting the button! I'm now following you back.

    Have a great week!


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