Dec 23, 2010

Christmas Dummies

These are the top 5 dummest Christmas questions I got when I worked on the switchboard at Walmart (and the answers I wished I could give)

Happy Holidays! Thank you for calling your local Walmart; how may I direct your call?

1. I know all of Canada is sold out of them, but I was wondering if you had any stored in the back?
A: Actually, I have 2 stored up my ass; want one of those?

2. What do you have that would be good for a 9 year old girl?
A: I’m not your personal shopper, this is fucking Walmart. Get off your lazy ass and come in to the god damn store and look for yourself.

3. Is this Walmart? Do you sell toys?
A: Didn’t I just say ‘Thank you for calling Walmart?' And, have you been living in a fucking bubble for the past 20 years? It’s Walmart, of course we have toys.

4. Do you have extended holiday hours today?
A: Extended more than the usual 24hours? Yes, we actually create a vortex through time and space and stay open for an extra 2 hours. What the hell do you think?

5. Do you sell Christmas presents?
A: Unless you’re looking for a pony or a car, I would assume a big fat yes. It’s WALMART – toys, clothes, electronics, jewellery, perfume, small appliances, sporting goods... 

Merry Christmas everyone! Thanks for reading :) xoxo


  1. Lmao... that's great!

  2. LMAO! You know what they say, "Common sense is not that common." It really continues to amaze me how many truly stupid people there are in this world. You must have a lot of patience...

  3. LMAO!!!!! Those don't surprise me one bit.

  4. ohhh...the joys of working in customer should have just spouted a few of those off on your last day, just because

  5. LOL, have a fun holiday!

    I'm a new follower from Fun Followe Friday. :)


  6. Hopping by via Follow Friday! I'm now following you, and let me just say that I adore the look of your blog so very much.... Anyhow, hop on by and follow me back if you like! Merry Christmas!

    mary @

  7. Gotta love the holidays! I just found you through Carrie with Children's blog hop! Love your blog and humor!

  8. first of all, let me say that your stupid people questions are great! if only customer service people were permitted to give out the answers they deemed appropriate. like shut the hell up & grow a brain & stop wasting my time!
    thanks for the follow! i like your blog. =)

  9. Hi,
    I'm following from the blog hop.
    I'd love a follow back at

  10. LOL! too funny. when i worked in circiut city i used to get some silly questions just like that, umm year round too. new follower here
    (no :(email subscribe for updates?) from new years hop, come check out Mari's Fun!. Have a great week.

  11. You win worst job ever hands down. You had to TALK to the People of Wal-Mart. In defense of woman number two - it takes a lot of work to scrounge a filthy pair of pajamas out of the bottom of your laundry hamper and find some sort of skanky shirt to go with them. She wanted to make sure it would be worth the effort first.

  12. You made me snort. I'm glad you finally got to vent after all of these years. Ellen


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