Sep 16, 2010

Pregnant Children: An Epidemic?

So I was asked to contribute advice on a fairly successful social community website and I’ve run into my first issue that has actually caused me to lose sleep over it. I would call it ‘teen pregnancy’ but it’s not even that – since these CHILDREN are barely 13; I would consider a ‘real’ teen pregnancy from a girl that was 16-18 years old. It’s not like it is an isolated issue either – one after another, after another; and they are all posting questions and proud statements such as: “I’m keepin it, cuz I dunnie wants an aborchin” Are you fucking for real? Apparently, they are real... and there are a lot of them!

This consumes me with rage not only due to the ill-informed and pure ignorance of these CHILDREN – but where are their god damn parents in all of this? I’ll tell you where... they themselves are barely 30 and are allowing their children to have sex under their roof and condone their actions! These so-called parents should be brought up on charges for allowing this – but they seem to be no smarter than the 13 year old. It is like they are fuelling a vicious cyclone of dumb breeding, which apparently comes full circle every 13-16 years. When it was once deemed almost impossible to live to be a great-great grandmother, now it’s achievable by the time you’re 60! I would have originally thought that it was based loosely on class, but in these times everyone has access to information and fairly regulated schooling (in Western countries, anyway). It seems to be spreading like a virus – lower, middle and upper class – a lot thanks to teen pregnancy glorification in the media, as per Jamie Lynn Spears and Bristol Palin – but 1 serious factor is ignored – those girls have MONEY.

So, everyone wants to have a baby – like it’s all about funky coloured strollers and cute onezies that say ‘If you think I’m cute, you should see my Mommy”. Why are they all in such a desperate rush to grow up? Whatever happened to wearing too much make-up or trying on your mother’s high heels to feel older? These girls are creating human beings and simultaneously posting questions online like:

“Does it hurt when you have a baby?”

“I only did it once in a KFC bathroom, so why am I pregnant?”

“How quickly can I lose the weight I gained cuz I don’t want my boyfriend to think I’m fat and dump me?”

You want my advice? Here it is: If you are asking questions like these, YOU SHOULD NOT BE HAVING SEX AND DEFINITELY SHOULD NOT HAVE A BABY. I’m not saying I was an angel at 13; I was doing many things with boys that I was far too young to really understand, but I still knew that there was no way in fuck that I was going to get myself pregnant!

Apart from those stupid girls that don’t even know why or how they got pregnant (which perhaps 40 years ago would be acceptable, but frankly there is no excuse in today’s society), it’s also the girls that PURPOSELY go and do it as well. I really think that in situations like these that the world truly is going mad.

I might be willing to buy the underlying notion of creating a child for a sad concept of unconditional love, but I don’t even think these girls are emotionally mature enough to formulate a complex idea like that. They simply want a cute little bundle to cart around like a fashion accessory – Hey! Go to fucking Toys R Us and get the Graco 3-in-1 Pram – it sells for only $49.99 and you won’t get ‘fat’. So what if the recommended age is 3-4 years; the girls might argue that they are 10 years too old for it. Well, my rebuttal would be that they’re also 10 years too young (at least) to have a real baby, so what’s the difference? Get the god damn toy, so when they find out that it’s not as cool and trendy as they thought it was, they can just throw it out – not so easy with a real one.


  1. I'm seriously at a loss for words here. I want to bitch slap some parentals. I'm going to google chastity belts for pre-teens and see what I can come up with for my kids. Hopefully that search doesn't put me on some sort of list....

  2. Yesterday at work a lady (who was completely over-dressed and clearly trying to compete with her teen daughter, who was also there) first said to her daughter, "Shut up Jessica, don't be a bitch," then said to one of the cashiers, "Want a kid? She's cheap." Yep.


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