Feb 16, 2010

Scene of the Crime

The first time I had sex, yep, I remember, although it is something I would like to forget. So there I was, 14 years old and in a “real relationship” with my boyfriend (When you’re 14 and in a relationship for 6 months, that’s “forever”). So we decided that it was time to do the deed. We were responsible about it; we talked about it and we waited for a bit. My friend and her older sister (who was friends with my boyfriend) were having a party. Perfect… I could tell my parents that I was sleeping over at Diana’s house. It wasn’t exactly lying; it just wasn’t telling the whole truth.

So there we were – young, drunk and in love; it was time. We picked a dark room upstairs, found the bed and starting making out. I have to admit, he was a nice guy; he asked if this was going to be it and I answered ‘yes’. He had a condom and we were ready! He even made sure I was ok at the beginning and during; like I said… nice guy.

What I remember about the feeling of the first time was: OUCH! It wasn’t pleasant. I just kept thinking “this can’t be it; this isn’t what I heard and read about... we must not be doing it right. It must get better, just wait!” It didn’t get better – it got worse. When it was over, which was quickly, I wondered if I bled. I heard that the first time when your “cheery gets popped” you bleed. I didn’t feel anything “pop” so I put my hands down there to feel around. It was wet everywhere and slimy. Yuck! He didn’t seem to notice. He wanted to get up and get a drink, so I said that was ok and I’d get cleaned up and meet him downstairs. I had to stay and see what happened without him being there. When I heard him walk down the stairs, I jumped up, shut the door and began searching for the light switch. I found it, turned it on and saw what looked like a horrific murder scene! Brownish-red blood was everywhere; all over the sheets, all over me and worse, all over the mattress. I looked around and quickly realized that we were in my friend’s sister’s room. I totally just stained her sister’s bed with my ‘first time’ blood and fluids. Oh, shit! I was mortified.

My first instinct was to hide the evidence. I used the already disgusting sheets to clean myself up, got dressed and went into the hall in search of the linen closet. The whole time I was worrying that if anyone was to come upstairs, what would I say? I was scared and my heart was pounding. So I began to strip the bed; it was saturated. I thought if I were to flip the mattress that maybe no one would notice! I couldn’t flip it - that didn’t work. I decided to soak up as much as I could with the old sheets and some towels and then I remade the bed. It looked like nothing happened on the surface; it was a perfectly clean and tidy room, except for the heap of bloody towels and sheets in the corner. I couldn’t find the damn laundry hamper.

I had to leave; I couldn’t take the guilt any longer. My boyfriend was also probably wondering where the hell I was, so off I went. I was expecting to walk into a room with everyone looking at me and whispering. Thank god that wasn’t the case! The party was going on as normal; everyone doing their own thing. My boyfriend and his friends were in the pool, so I knew that they probably knew by now. I told my close friends, but left out the bloody details, literally. I never told anyone about the gory aftermath. I went home early the next morning, as to avoid the sister at all cost. I don’t think I could have hidden my guilt if she asked anyone what happened. I hoped she found somewhere else to sleep that night.

To this day, I am SO sorry for the mess I left. Come on! I was only 14, but even still, I’m profoundly sorry for tainting your sister’s childhood room.


  1. This brings back SO many memories. Nice 50th Post. Keep it going girl!


  2. I was in my boyfriends bed my first time. I didn't even look to see if there was a mess. He had begged and begged me to have sex with him and so I figured if he wanted it so bad he could deal with the mess.
    I'm sorry your first time left you with that guilt feeling because of your friends sisters room. Not something you want to have to bring with you!


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